While I was driving, I started getting a little nervous about seeing my dad.
I had spent so long wondering where he was, imagining what I would say if I ever found him. But now that I was actually getting closer, all those thoughts seemed to disappear.
I stared through the windshield, watching the police car ahead of us.
"What am I even supposed to say to him?" I muttered.
Rudy glanced over at me.
I looked at him.
"I mean… what do you say to your dad after all these years?"
Rudy didn't answer. He couldn't. Instead, he gave me a reassuring look and lightly tapped my shoulder.
I took a deep breath.
"Yeah… you're right."
I turned my attention back to the road.
The police car ahead began slowing down.
As I passed by houses, my stomach tightened.
I knew we were getting close.
And for the first time, it hit me that in just a few minutes, I might finally be standing face-to-face with the man I had spent years searching for.
When we stepped out of my truck it was something I wasn't expecting.
It looked more like an ordinary house than a place someone would stay after getting out of prison. There was a small front yard, a few windows along the front, and a sign near the entrance.
I looked at the officer.
"So… this is like a halfway house?"
He nodded.
"Yeah. Your dad has been staying here for a while."
I stared at the building for a few seconds.
"So he's actually here?"
"He should be," the officer said. "Unless something changed recently."
I swallowed hard.
Rudy stood beside me, looking at the house.
I could feel my heart beating faster.
After everything I'd heard about my dad, after all the years of wondering where he was, I was finally standing outside the place where he lived.
The officer walked toward the entrance.
"Come on. I'll explain everything when we get inside."
I followed him, with Rudy walking beside me.
Before I reached the door, I stopped.
The officer turned around.
"You okay?"
I nodded, even though I wasn't sure if that was true.
"Yeah. I just… never thought I'd actually get this far."
He gave me a small nod.
"I understand."
Then he opened the door.
We stepped inside.
The hallway was quiet. There were a few chairs against the wall, a small table with some papers on it, and several doors leading to different rooms.
A staff member sitting behind a desk looked up.
"Can I help you?"
The officer showed his badge and explained why we were there.
The staff member looked at me.
"Are you his son?"
I nodded.
"Yeah."
He paused for a moment before checking something on his computer.
"Your father is here."
My stomach dropped.
"He is?"
"He's in the common room."
I looked down the hallway.
For the first time, I realized I didn't have to wait anymore.
He was only a few doors away.
The officer stepped aside.
"You don't have to go in right away."
I took a deep breath.
"No. I came all this way."
I looked at Rudy.
He gave me the same reassuring look he'd given me in the truck.
I nodded.
Then I slowly walked down the hallway.
Every step felt heavier than the last.
When I reached the doorway to the common room, I stopped.
I could hear someone talking inside.
Then I heard a voice I hadn't heard in years.
My entire body froze.
I knew that voice.
It was him. I stood there for a few seconds, staring into the common room.
My hand rested against the doorframe.
I didn't know what I was expecting.
Anger.
Fear.
Maybe even relief.
But none of those feelings seemed strong enough to describe what was going through my head.
Then his eyes met mine.
He stopped talking.
For a moment, neither of us said anything.
I recognized him immediately.
Even though he looked older than I remembered, there was no doubt.
It was my dad.
He slowly stood up.
"…Is that you Emmanuel?"
My throat tightened.
I couldn't answer.
He took a small step toward me before stopping.
"I thought I'd never see you again."
I looked down at the floor.
"Neither did I."
The room became completely quiet.
Rudy stayed behind me, giving us space.
My dad looked at him and said in tears
"Is…is that you Rudy
"Yeah, it sure is dad we're both back"
Then Rudy walked up to him and gave him a big hug.
Then I hugged him.
After that long hug, I asked him "Dad, how come you didn't look for us"
When I said that his face was blank, then he grabbed a chair and said
"You're right and I'm sorry but I have to tell you what happened in the past few years"
For the first time in years, I was finally going to hear his side of the story.
"After we lost you your mom and I tried to get you back but they told us that we needed to live in a better environment to have you back but that's when your mom was pregnant with Rudy and when he was born he had vocal cord damage and cops took him away as well then 2 years late your mom passed and I job that ended me being here and When I was arrested, I realized something. You two were growing up, and I wasn't the kind of father you needed. I thought staying away would keep you safe from everything I had gotten myself into."
I shook my head.
"You could've called."
"I know."
"You could've written."
"I know."
My voice became quieter.
"But you didn't."
He lowered his head.
"No. I didn't."
The room fell silent.
I looked around the common room. A television was playing quietly in the corner, and somewhere down the hallway, I could hear someone laughing.
It felt strange.
Everyone else seemed to be living a normal day.
Meanwhile, I was sitting across from the man I'd spent years wondering about.
My dad looked back at me.
"Look, I can't change what happened, but you and Rudy can."
"What do you mean?" I said with a confused look.
He stayed quiet for a moment, staring through the windshield.
"I mean that whatever happened between us… whatever mistakes I made, you don't have to repeat them."
I looked over at Rudy. He was sitting quietly, staring out the window. He didn't do anything, but I could tell he was listening.
My dad sighed.
"I wasn't always the right person you needed me to be and I know that now."
I didn't know how to respond.
For years, I had imagined what it would be like to finally see my dad again. I thought I'd be angry. Maybe I'd yell at him. Maybe I'd demand answers.
But now that he was sitting right there, I couldn't find the words.
"So what happens now?" I finally asked.
My dad looked back at the road.
"That's up to you."
I frowned.
"Up to me?"
He nodded.
"You can walk away from everything that happened here… or you can start figuring out what comes next."
For the first time since we started looking for him, I realized something.
Finding my dad wasn't the end of the story.
It was the beginning of something none of us knew how to handle.