I tried to open both of my eyelids. I woke up to hearing the voices of people talking in this room. But after I opened my eyes, there was no one here. Maybe they have already left this room. Then I tried to close both of my eyelids so that I could fall asleep again. For some reason I just want to sleep right now to kill the boredom because I'm alone here. Before falling asleep, I heard the sound of the door of this room opening. I heard the sound of footsteps entering this room. Actually I didn't want to open my eyes, but vaguely I heard the voice of someone crying.
"Mom, don't cry, please!" I said after I managed toopen both my eyes.
"How can I not cry?" Mom paused her sentence because she tried to swallow her saliva. After a few seconds Mom spoke again. "The doctor said you should get a donor for your heart right away, but now...." Mom began to sob again. "No one has been able to donate his heart for you yet." Now Mom started wiping her tears with a handkerchief that she had been holding since earlier.
"Everything will bebfine, Mom. Don't worry. I'm sure I'll get better, trust me." I tried to smile faintly to calm this woman who had given birth to me. Although I am not really sure about my current health condition.
"All of is Mom's fault. If Mom had taken better care of you earlier, you wouldn't have been like this. Mom thinks too much about work than you. Mom is not a good mother." Mom began to hold my hand.
I could see that there was a sense of regret on Mom's face. This is not one hundred percent Mom's fault. I also take part in the condition of my body now. While my parents were busy with their work, I even damaged my body because of the wrong association. I always get together every day with my bad friends. The invited me to spend my rest time in the nightlife. Alcohol, cigarettes an illegal drugs become my needs. In fact, I always had fun with my friends. And a few months ago I had accident due to the influence of alcohol. After doing the examination, the doctor found something wrong with my heart. I had coronary heart disease. The doctor suggested that I have a heart transplant right away. But, who would donate his heart for me?
"How was your day?" A man came in my room after my Mom returned home.
I've been in this hospital for more than a months. I'm bored here. I'm like being in prison, with these medical devices all over my body, I feel like I want to pull it out. But as soon as I think of Mom, she will definitely be sad if something happens to me.
"Yeah, as you see, I'm still alive now. Looks like I want to end all this." I answered this man's question sarcastically.
This man smiled when he heard the sentence I just said. This man is a nurse at this hospital. Every day he would visit my room to check on my condition. He will inject drugs into my IV tube.
"Don't say that. You're still breathing to this day it's because God still wants you to stay alive.You should be diligent in praying. Try asking God to give you healing immediately. " This male nurse gave me encouragement as usual.
"Yeah, it's true. Only miracle can heal me." I replied to him.
This man was the nurse who took care of me. He often came to check on my condition every time. As now he was checking my blood pressure using a medical device that I didn't know the name of. After writing something on a note that he always carried, this male nurse started walking towards the IV that hung above my bed.
"I believe that one day there will definitely be a heart donor forbyou. You have to be sure that the miracle is real." He spoke while looking at my face.
I felt a little calmer when he told me that. I immediately hoped that a miracle would come my way. Slowly, the male nurse and I became close. Every now and then, I'd try to find out more about him. It turned out he was married. I felt a little jealous of him. He'd never feel lonely at home.
"Why isn't there a heart the same size as mine?" I asked because I was very curious. I once heard the doctor say that a heart donor had arrived at this hospital. But after examining the heart, the medical staff said that the heart was not compatible with mine.
"Heart size? What do you mean?" The nurse asked me with a confused expression on his face.
"The doctor once told me that there was a heart donor for me. But after they checked that heart didn't match for me. But I don't know for sure, if the heart was so big or so small for me, because they don't explain it to me." I explained to him. Because all this time it was the only thing that crossed my mind about the fit needed for me in terms of doing heart transplant surgery.
Instantly the nurse laughed out loud, he even held his stomach. I become annoyed because of his attitude. How could he laugh in front of a critically ill patient like me? After being satisfied with laughing, the nurse began to neutralize his voice by clearing his throat.
"Hmm. I didn't expect you to think like that." He spoke while holding back his laughter.
"Why are you laughing, what's so funny?" I said in an annoyed tone.
"You're already twenty-five years old, but why do you act like a child?" He spoke with an amused smile looking at me.
This male nurse tried to stop laughing before talking to me. "Okay, don't bevoffended. Let me explain. The compatibility for human organ transplants, be it heart, eyes, liver, kidneys, and others, is not matched based on shape or size. Except for children, because they will continue to grow. So there may be changes in size. But, that doesn't apply to adults. Everything is tested for blood type compatibility. Even if there is a match, sometimes the recipient's body can also reject the organ. Therefore, when the organ donor recipient has undergone a transplant, the patient must still be under the supervision of the medical team." The nurse man explanation really embarrassed me.
"Hey, it's not my fault to conclude such a thing. The doctor did not explain in detail to me. After all, I never learned about medical matters." I said to cover up my embarrassment.
"The doctor must have explained it, but he explained it to the patient's family. Because whatever the results of the examination that concerns the patient, the hospital must still discuss it with the patient's family." He explained it to me again.
The nurse man injected fluid into my IV tube. Then he touched the IV tube hanging above my bed. I didn't understand what he was doing to my IV tube.
"I hope you will soon find a suitable donor. And you've opened my mind today." He spoke while tidying up the medical equipment he had brought earlier.
"What do you mean? I opened your mind?" I asked in surprise. Is it because the way I judged the suitability of the transplantation made him aware of something?
"Yes, you made me aware of one thing. That many others are waiting for a miracle from God." He said when he had finished tidying up his equipment.
"Everyone knows that miracles come from God, so what does that have to do with opening yourvmind?" I asked him who started staring at my IV tube.
"I want to give others a chance to live when I've lost it." The man said with a smile on his face, then walked out of the room.
I was still confused by his sentence. While he was on duty to check on my condition as usual, I asked the nurse man what he meant the other day. But he never gave me an explanation. He just said 'nevermind' and it me off.
*Continued*