How many times has it been that after waking up, he gets into deep shit?
'Well at least twice already'
Alexander sat in a bed, eating porridge meant for the sick while warily looking at the priestesses going about their duties in this medieval hospital. While thinking about the unfortunes he keeps on stumbling upon since receiving the system.
The problem is, he is not sick, or mentally ill. But he sat there, eyes narrowed in suspicion as he watched the women move about all because they seemed too familiar.
So far, he had been dropped into worlds where there was: nothing but water, nothing but clicking monstrosities and Slavic cannibals.
So now that he was dropped in a world where he was picked up and nursed back to health, not that he was in danger or injured, and everything looked really familiar - he felt very suspicious, primarily of his luck.
"If you keep staring at my girls like this, I bet they will find themselves filled with holes"
A hand that materialised out of nowhere pulled Alexander's ear.
"Ow, ow, ow"
He almost dropped the wooden plate he was holding due to being caught off guard.
As he was about to tell the woman to release him, she did it herself, but now she was standing there, condescending and all…
"Ehm… sorry, I just didn't expect to receive help with no danger-to-my-life strings attached."
Alexander decided to speak honestly, while being genuinely sorry for his behaviour. His words made the woman take a pause, but soon a mischievous smirk appeared on her beautiful face.
"That's fine, but I hate to break it to you, your body now belongs to us."
Alexander looked at the woman with a deadpan gaze, all the while her own face was blooming into a wide smile.
"You can't be serious."
The young man spoke up, the smile was definitely a signal not to take her seriously.
"Ha, I guess not, you aren't exactly a sight for sore eyes either way"
She said with a chuckle.
'Geh'
Now, Alexander wished he just kept his mouth shut, it was pretty hurtful to hear such a comment from a woman as gorgeous as her.
Now that he looked closer, he noticed that atop her short white hair, there was a pair of fluffy ears. Then, slowly his gaze panned towards her behind-
"How rude, young man."
She once again pulled his already red ear, this time with more force.
"Gah, it's not what you think!"
He scrambled to explain.
"It was my first time seeing a fox lady, you can't expect me not to notice the tail!!!"
He shouted while trying to pull the hand off his ear which was burning. But the kitsune proved to have a deadly grip.
"Sorry, sorry, what the hell…"
Alexander pleaded and the fox lady let him go with a laugh.
"What's your name, boy?"
"Where I am from, it's customary to introduce yourself first."
"You can call me Saiguu."
"Nice to meet you, Lady Saiguu, my name is Alexander."
"Nice to meet you Alexander, you speak well for a foreigner."
"Thanks and your name sounds familiar."
"Well I am the Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine."
…
"Grand Narukami Shrine?"
"Where do you think this was?"
Saiguu spread her arms around as if showcasing the building.
Alexander once again took a look around the building, the priestesses, the kitsune accessories and the obvious Japanese vibes.
"Apologies, I am not familiar with Inazuma geography."
"Are you not a resident?"
"Well…"
"If you don't wanna say, then don't, there aren't that many explanations for being passed out naked on a beach, so I can guess."
Alexander had a bad premonition at that very moment.
"...What do you think happened?"
"Well you are obviously a run away on drugs."
He once again deadpanned, but this time Saiguu was not joking around, as she started packing her pipe with tobacco, seemingly waiting for his response.
"Well you aren't wrong about the run away things, but I don't do drugs…"
"Ah, so a dealer then."
She took a puff and exhaled into his face.
He waved the smoke away.
"That's quite rude Lady Saiguu, but I'll forgive you, if you share some tobacco."
"These leaves are priceless, boy, forget about it."
She hit his head with the pipe and continued smoking as if nothing happened.
"Right or wrong - it doesn't matter, what matters is the fact that you are obviously suspicious. No identity, yet speaks fluently as an obvious foreigner."
As Alexander was once again starting to panic and getting ready to use [Hop], not caring that this was the world of Genshin Impact made real, Kitsune Saiguu decided to stop beating around the bush.
"Look, the Shrine doesn't care about your identity, from what I understand you are harmless even if perverted. But since you have no identity, credibility and home you are in for some trouble."
The young man nodded along, it seemed like yesterday's scenes were going to repeat themselves, sans the cannibalistic ending. Probably.
"I can offer you a job."
"What, as a Shrine Maiden?"
Alexander asked sarcastically.
"Good idea, I can make you look female enough."
"Wait, wait, wait!"
For the umpteenth time the boy lost his composure under the kitsune's influence.
"Hahahaha"
She just laughed.
"Heh, anyway, as I was saying, I can offer you a job, we need some hands for guardsmen positions."
Saiguu finally finished her piece with a chuckle.
Although it felt rather abrupt and weird to go from attending school to suddenly work to survive, as a meagre guard to boot.
"...Thank you for the offer Lady Kitsune, I am actually literate and versed in basic mathematics, maybe you have something more comfortable and suitable?"
Although he felt embarrassed about saying all of that, it felt like what should be done for a better life, the impressive look she gave him, backed the decision up.
"Can you prove it?"
"I should be able to"
He scratched the back of his head and gave a shy smile.
"Well if you lied, then I'm going to kick you out, even owe a debt for nursing you back to health!"
She threatened with an imposing fist.
"But I wasn't even injured…"
"Details, little details, let's go."
She waved the response away, as if it was an annoying fly, while Alexander started to get out of bed.
…
The speed with which which he covered himself with a blanket was very impressive.
"Looks like I was correct, you are a pervert"
Saiguu threw him a disgusted glance.
"I thought I was covered up! At least in bandages!"
"But you are not injured"
Alexander slapped his burning red face.
"Why would my pretty priestesses cover you up, when you are able to do so yourself?"
She pointed towards a set of traditional Japanese clothes.
He grabbed the clothes and hid under the blanket.
After some time he got out and patted the now-wrinkled clothes.
"Who even binds the obi like that…"
Exasperated, Saiguu walked up and properly tied the belt around his kimono, then adjusted the haori. But it was all rather awkward, because even as a growing teenager, he already towered over her and any other woman in the building.
"Thanks."
Alexander felt a bit embarrassed, but then again, just until recently he lived a perfectly ordinary and bleak life, so everything around him was new and interesting. Not to mention he was literally inside a game.
It was rather intoxicating.
"Follow me."
The kitsune nodded in answer to thanks, then motioned for the boy to follow.
.
.
.
The test she prepared was actually for a Shrine Maiden and there a lot of familiar concepts he learned in school, he didn't exactly have the answers as it was all about rituals, correct strokes, volume of ink, etc. Basically it was all practical for their profession.
Scratching his head, Alexander missed the fact that Saiguu would never expect him to ace the test or answer any question at all, what she wanted to see was his thought process and how he would try to solve.
But the boy was too focused on the task at hand, as he would in school. But as soon as he thought about how to cheat the test, he remembered the system.
Opening it up and scrolling down to the skill branches, that's when he noticed something that escaped his attention before.
The first branch - Cooking was not unlocked, yet its progress bar was filled. Opening the perk up, he could now see that his level was 21, the highest number he had and he didn't even have the novice choice unlocked.
'...Am I an idiot? Of course the skills I used everyday since I was a kid would translate into experience!'
Although he never wielded a weapon in his life, nor did any of the martial arts, his life was all about cooking, learning sciences in school, speaking to people, being a peasant, etc.
He opened up Speech which he even unlocked, but paid no mind to. There his skill progress bar showed a clear level 17, nothing impressive, but it was there.
After that he checked Scientist, which was at level 9 and finally Peasant which was a whooping level 37.
Thinking about it some more, he also checked Cleric, as he was baptised and even frequently visited the Church on Sundays when younger. It was level 20, rather surprising.
'Hmm… Shrine Maidens, Shrine… that's also religion, don't know why I was so fixated on Orthodoxy…'
Finally, he also checked the Body branch, but was disappointed to see it at level 9.
'Well, I am rather lazy…'
He comforted himself, but realised it's the reason his body is- wasn't properly developed.
"So, have you finished?"
The fox lady walked up to him, once again smoking her pipe.
"Well… yeah, but it turns out I don't know a thing, perhaps becoming a guard is fitting or maybe a cook."
He spoke while sprawling out on the chair, disappointed.
Saiguu took a look at him with a raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes, but after having a look through his thought process she was genuinely impressed, although she didn't show it.
[Impressed Guuji Saiguu with your basic knowledge +1 perk point]
Alexander sprung up in his chair, causing a ruckus and startling the kitsune, so she smacked him with her pipe.
"You are impressed?"
He asked while caressing his head which he felt would soon be covered in countless bumps.
If the fox was startled, now she was actually in a stupor, though she recovered quickly.
"Hrmph, this is basic knowledge and you didn't answer a single question, how can I be impressed, I am not even disappointed as it was expected of you."
She snorted and lied without a change in expression.
"True, maybe you could give me a chance to become a cook then?"
Now Saiguu was caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, she lied about his scholar qualifications which truly meant he could become a Shrine Maiden, with a bit of time even an exceptional one at that. On the other hand, if she took her words back, the boy would know she had lied, and that would be very embarrassing.
"Yes, seeing as how you are averse to being a guard you would probably be unqualified, while being a cook is simple enough, no way to mess it up. Very well, I shall be magnanimous and let you try out for a Shrine cook."
"Thank you for the chance, Lady Guuji."
"Just call me Saiguu, why did you use that cumbersome word…"
She started moving towards the kitchen and Alexander moved after her without a thought. After all, even if she lied about his qualification to become a scholar, he had no interest in studying and being the equivalent of an office worker in this world for all his life.
.
.
.
Inside the kitchen both of them were talking with the workers, Saiguu was causing mischief and having fun teasing the young women, while Alexander was asking work related questions.
After getting acquainted with the work station, Saiguu told him to cook something up with the ingredients present.
But the problem was he knew nothing of Japanese cuisine and there were no familiar ingredients. So with a leap of faith, he decided to use the recently received perk point to buy the novice option of the Cooking branch.
[
Novice: Cook (1 Point) - You can prepare meals that restore fatigue and minor wounds. The food is always palatable and comforting.
]
Now, with the skill unlocked, he felt like he was in his element; it was truly an eye-opening experience.
Soon the cooks and Saiguu were focused on watching the young man conjure up a dish in record time for one that smelled pretty good and looked the part.
"This Agebitashi looks pretty good, Lady Guuji, he wasn't lying when he said he knows a bit."
After serving the dish in three portions, two for the head and vice cooks, while the third was obviously for the fox, who turned out to be skipping out on her work.
Although the dish looked presentable and smelled decent, the taste would be palatable for sure, but nobody was expecting…
"How warm…"
The two cooks had tears rolling down their eyes, while their faces adorned pretty smiles.
"Feels very comforting…"
Saiguu commented, while glancing at the young man who was scratching his head at the unexpected scene.
The skill did say the food is always palatable and comforting, but no tears were expected.
[You have greatly impressed and piqued the Guuji's interest, +2 perk points]
'Damn, 2 perk points? Is this the point where my life turns around for the better?'
Alexander was finally starting to feel the true happiness for getting the system and excitement for the future. Nothing could prevent him from getting an awesome life now.
"How did you do this boy?"
Saiguu asked after finishing her meal, her voice much more tender than before.
"I am sorry Lady Saiguu, I have no clue, I mean you watched me cook, didn't you?"
Alexander didn't know how he could explain the phenomenon even if he wanted to.
The fox closed her eyes in contemplation, the cooks however looked at him with shining eyes and visible excitement.
While the women were lost in their own little worlds, the young man was looking at the progress bar of his cooking. It had jumped from lvl. 21 up to lvl. 30, making him able to upgrade it once again, gaining the adept ability.
'What? So easy? Or is it because I impressed an important character? There is also a 20% faster leveling from the Protagonist perk…'
He scratched his head, in the end he decided to stop paying the progress to his mind, he had no idea how the experience was tracked and calculated, so he would just work and improve himself.
Slam
Saiguu slammed the table, rattling the plates, shushing the room and grabbing everybody's attention. The woman herself had her gaze locked and burning onto Alexander.
"Fatigue."
She said one word and paused.
"I am no longer tired."
She moved her gaze towards the two cooks who also tried the dish.
"Now that you say it Lady Guuji, I don't feel tired either and I have been cooking all day!"
The woman flexed her biceps with a smile.
"Me too! Me too!"
Added the second woman.
"THEN HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SLEEP?!"
As Alexander was starting to feel awkward again and thinking about how he could ever explain his dishes removing fatigue, the fox screamed out and jumped towards him.
Grabbing his shoulders and shaking him so hard he started frothing at the mouth, she continued shouting in indignation.
"MY BEAUTY SLEEP, YOU THIEF! BRING IT BACK, MY BOREDOM TIME SKIP!"
As the most important woman in the Grand Shrine was having a mental breakdown. The others were nervously chuckling amongst themselves.
"Please, stop…"
The young man managed to speak out, but it was drowned out by the rambles of a woman gone mad.
"Stop, stop!"
He was raising his voice, as he could feel his brain slamming against his skull and he was afraid of getting dumb.
"GIVE IT A REST YOU DAMN HAG!"
He could no longer take it, as the porridge was about to come back up.
Smack
The smack of a wooden pipe against an equally wooden head resounded inside the room. After all, only a brainless idiot mentions a woman's age.
"I am actually younger than you, thank you very much."
Saiguu wiped her pipe on the spot where it had made contact with Alexander's head, in disgust.
Finally getting a chance to think, the young man started to consider the options on how the issue could be solved and prevented in the future.
After all, he had no wish to cook a meal to eat, invigorating himself and losing the ability to sleep, becoming a drone for work.
Thinking about it, technically since he could add the effect, he could avoid it and even subtract it, making a comforting meal that would make the one who ate it fall asleep or feel very tired.
"I could… perhaps try and make a dish that would make you tired instead?"
"Do it! Do it right this instant!"
The madfox started to shake him again, but he was able to pull away this time.
After a short while, another three portions were cooked up, for the three people who were now suffering from having energy during the evening.
"So let me get this straight, you just simmered a mix of vegetables and eating this is supposed to make me tired?"
It was the fox's time to deadpan at the young man.
"This Hijiki Seaweed Salad should theoretically be able to put you to sleep, yes."
'After all while cooking, I kept wishing that this dish would put anybody who ate it to sleep.'
…
Crash
The three women fell into a deep sleep, their heads crashing against the table after finishing their meals at the same time.
The remaining people in the room looked at Alexander with narrow eyes and awkward expressions.
The young man himself was sweating bullets while looking at his hands. He has become a biological weapon and he hasn't even upgraded to the Adept level yet!