I could feel the heat creeping up to my neck, to my cheeks, and to my ears, which had never crawled like that before. And with Mirxalyn, it does. Having Mirxalyn as my wife was definitely like any other married wife would do for their partners. She was not always around, but you would know whenever she did. It may be a small gesture, a nod of acknowledgement when passing each other. She would look at you with care, even if it was just for a few seconds, and even appear at your side when you broke down, and wouldn't judge you. She's just there.
Having thought about it, I found myself chuckling, thinking Mirxalyn as my wife was the mix of my savior and my mate. "Oh God, what a ride. She's a quiet lover, annoying, but attentive – wait, she's a more possessively protective, attentive wife." I chuckled softly, realizing that it was not hard to see Mirxalyn as my wife. I was overwhelmed by where our situation had started, and my past. "We're both being cautious, respecting boundaries, because this is new to us. And I, I have to learn things with patience."
I closed my eyes, feeling the soothing air swirling around me as if it were whispering something until I opened my eyes. And there she was, my wife, standing before me with her usual unreadable expression. But the edges were a bit softer than before.
I don't know where my softest tone came from, but it just rolled out from my mouth, asking gently, "Need anything, hon?" I didn't care what I had called her, but Mirxalyn smiled a little. She didn't even hide it, shaking her head. Then, I honestly commented, smiling, "I love it when you smile."
She shrugged her shoulders before informing me about her emergency, "I had an emergency at the southern border. I have to check it myself."
"Will you be coming before dinner or after?" I asked, understanding that she had to perform her duty.
"Late dinner, maybe." She answered coldly, touching the wisteria's leaves within her reach.
"What do you want to have then?" I wondered, mesmerized by how serene she looked at the moment.
"Surprise me." She grinned, but the smugness vanished when I found myself leaving a peck on her lips. I was stuck – both of us were.
None of us moved from the unexpected gesture that surprisingly came out of me. We stared into each other's eyes with pulse spiking, holding breaths tight, speechless. We didn't see it coming, not even from me. I'm surprised. But when I caught myself, I quickly backed away, blushing, not even looking at my wife's surprised, wide eyes, staring back at me.
Panic surged as I mumbled like a whisper, "What did I just do?" But I shook my head, shaking it off, and shifted the mood by teasing her. "Surprise now?"
"Treasured." She smiled, and that was the most beautiful smile I ever wanted to smile only for me. Selfish it may sound, but it was her rarest smile, the only kind of treasure I wanted to engrave not only in my mind, my heart, and my soul as well. I blushed, speechless, letting her pull my waist closer to her and kissed my temple before whispering sternly, "Don't stay too long out here. This tree is dangerous at night. It sucks life forces."
"Don't worry, Reaper hasn't left my side." With eyes closed, I replied softly. I savored her dear kiss and the warmth draped on me.
"Good." She said softly, and just like how she appeared, she vanished like a passing wind.
As soon as she was gone, I knew to myself that I was done for. I know it was from the mate pull, but something else is growing. It might be too soon, but I can't deny that it wasn't here anymore, because it already is. It was tattooing deeper than a mate bond. But before I could openly claim it, I had to take this marriage, my new life with them, and the changes in me, for a shot at a better version of me.
"She's right. I have to focus on me first." I whispered my conviction, reflecting in my tone. "I'm here to heal and get strong. I'm not going to let anyone take it away from me."
***
It has been a week since I made a decision. Now, I am getting used to my new rhythm. If I'm not with the servants around the kitchen or with the nurses in the clinic, I'm out of the household. I was running with the wolf knights around the manor. It was one of Mikyle's medical treatments for me, to help me regain what had not given to me from my previous pack. The wolf knights helped me stabilize my breathing and endurance by running, doing warm-ups, and military drills, where I learned to balance and became more aware of my surroundings.
"That's it for the day, young pup." Sasha, one of the gamma trainers, ended my training earlier than the rest.
"I'm not a pup." I frowned, but giggled.
"But to us you are." Sasha said, chuckling and messing my hair, saying, "You're a late bloomer."
Late bloomer; this word was very appropriate for how slow my changes were, and this new environment was giving me enough time to grow. "Whatever." I rolled my eyes, chuckling because I knew it was true, and then thanked them, "Thanks for letting me join your training session."
"Anytime," Sasha said gratefully, and I left the training field.
After I freshened up, I rushed to my doctor, Mikyle's office in the clinic, to hear the results of my full laboratory and the other doctors' assessment of my case.
I knocked before peaking my head to his office door, asking teasingly, "Dr. M, am I late?"
"Don't call me that," Mikyle sighed, shaking his head before answering, "…and no, you're not late."
"Just trying." I chuckled.
Mikyle sighed and signaled me to go behind the white curtain to remove my clothes, leaving my top and inner shorts for a thorough physical checkup that he usually gives me. He wanted to see the improvements on my body personally before comparing it to the other doctor's charts and gave his final assessment.
"Hm, this is good." With the professionalism of a doctor, Mikyle commented. He was noting down his personal assessment on my chart before comparing it to the other doctors' and the test results were. So far, he liked my improvements. "This is actually good. The treatment we prepared for you is actually working. Your body is responding great based on your changing figure. Your mental health already improved, not harming you like before." I smiled proudly at the achievements I've managed so far. Then asked, "Personally, I wanted to ask you, how do you feel right now?"
"Actually, good. I feel good, like something has been lifted. It's not entirely gone, but I feel good." I replied honestly, adding the times when I felt tired and weak, "Although there were times I felt like giving up, or my body wanted to hibernate. I think it was just exhaustion."
"Whenever you feel that, don't push yourself. Your body is still in the adjustment period, and forcing it will just do you harm rather than heal you." He said calmly, noting and reminding me about my body's status before asking, "Anything else you had noticed in yourself?"
"Hm, physically, I'm getting into a form. Mentally, I'm still shaken when past triggers come up, but to the extent that I would harm anyone near me. Emotionally, still the usual because of your annoying sister. She hasn't failed at doing that lately." I answered briefly, showing my honest annoyance with his sister, but went stern when I shared briefly about a figure in my dream. "Lastly, I'm not sure if this one is included in the spiritual state or something else, but I had a dream about a midnight furred Fenrir."
Mikyle stopped from noting down and looked at me sternly, like he was trying to analyze what I just said. He just stared at me there, saying nothing until he noticed my confusion, and then sighed.
"I'll be honest, I'm not sure either about it." He said carefully, like he wasn't sure what word was the right one to say, before adding one thing clear, "But dreaming of a Fenrir is pretty much rare. Night creatures who dreamed about Fenrir were countable by a hand."
"Wow, that's pretty rare." With a disbelief tone, I commented, and he nodded.
"From what I've heard about them, when a Fenrir became a spirit, they either took a new form or found a vessel to awaken a Spirit Wolf. And they were rare." He explained briefly, giving me an idea of how mythical Fenrir creatures were before advising me, "Next time it visits you, try to learn a lot, and it might be useful on your changes."
"If you put it that way, it could be possible." I agreed to his assessment of my dream.
"Good." He smiled, nodding before giving me the next appointment, "Your next check-up will be after six months, but ensure to check your mental state to manage your PTSD and your emotional state." I nodded, taking his reminders since he had been a great help to my recovery, being hands-on and all. I appreciated it very much. Then, he added a piece of advice, "And with your spirituality, try to read books about Fenrirs and their encounters with the other creatures, or you can interview creatures who have met them once. It may help you understand your dream."
"Okay, I'll keep that in mind." I replied, nodding before excusing myself, "I'll see you in six months."
After my checkup, I do my usual morning routine around the clinic, and I learned how to perform first aid on different types of bodies. I almost skipped lunch if Allison hadn't found me and dragged me to the quiet kitchen.
"It's almost 1:15, and everyone had eaten their meal apart from you," Allison said firmly, glaring at me as she served me my balanced meal.
I sheepishly chuckled before reasoning apologetically, "Don't get mad, I just lost track."
"You always do whenever you're too engrossed in things that caught your attention." She said, sighing, and I grinned.
"That's me for you," I replied, winking before eating, and she sighed again, shaking her head amusingly.
"And for worse, I'm getting used to it." She admitted.
I chuckled. Then I savored the delicious meal she had saved for me before wondering about my wife's whereabouts, "Where is she right now?"
"She had a meeting with the family councils about the townsfolk's needs at each border." She answered. I understood that, despite other creatures remaining in the land for security and refuge, the Knightrose family kept the dynamic, coordination, and equality in check. Allison's smile softened, saying, "They're going to talk about strengthening the borders' security and defenses to keep us safe as much as they can."
"I know, that's why I was sent here in the first place." With softness in my tone, I compared briefly the life I had here to my life I had once back in our pack. "The environment here is better than in our pack, where the weakest omega isn't allowed to live without being bullied or hurt."
"Then stop being stuck in the past. You're here and changing for the better." She reminded me of the decision I formed in me before adding a tease, "And maybe, soon you'll be crowned queen too." She
"Please, I don't want to think about wearing a crown." I pouted, making her giggle.
"But one day, you have to face it. You're married to a queen." She stated a truth that soon I had to face.
I sighed, understanding that side of being married to their queen before answering what I had to do first, "And before I do, I need to get better."
"I know you will." She had faith in me.