Calvin's anger had cooled slightly, but his gaze remained sharp as a blade, cutting straight through Sean's back.
"Then why do you want to run away?"
Sean's throat moved. He gripped Calvin's arm tightly with both hands, meeting his eyes head-on.
"This isn't running," Sean said, voice low but firm. "It's the opposite of running.
Back in Hekla, what kind of life did we live? Like vermin. Like rats. We weren't even human. We'd do anything — anything — just to fill our stomachs, because we had to.
No one cared if we lived or died except Mom. Everyone else was too busy surviving today to even think about tomorrow."
He drew a shaky breath.
"Do you remember when we first arrived in Tanyi? What kind of lives people lived here?
They had cake shops on the street, fancy clothes in the windows, people drinking every night.
Even the beggars were fat and lazy, lying around like overfed pigs in the corners of alleys."
His tone softened, almost wistful.
"Do you remember what we swore back then? That one day we'd buy a big house here in Tanyi — two stories high, with a six-hundred-square-meter backyard and a massive cellar.
We'd raise three big dogs in the yard, keep barrels of fine wine in the cellar…
All we had to do was work here until we were twenty-five—"
"Assuming the base isn't overrun by chimeras before then," Calvin cut in coldly.
"Right," Sean gave a short laugh. "That's what I thought too — until I found out the casualty ratio between male and female Mercury Needles.
Do you know what it is? Sixteen to one. Sixteen men dead for every woman.
Carl, doesn't that strike you as insane?"
Calvin didn't answer.
Sean went on, voice tense with energy.
"I couldn't understand it. Even if women have better endurance, we're stronger in raw power and bursts of speed.
So I started digging — trying to figure out why men kept dying at such a higher rate."
"At first, I thought maybe it was because women were being protected more — for reproductive reasons.
But soon I realized childbirth couldn't account for it. The efficiency of breeding new Mercury Needles is way too low.
The ability isn't hereditary in men, and even among female Needles, only about one in thirty children inherit the gift."
He leaned closer, eyes glinting.
"Even if you gathered every female Needle alive and forced them to keep reproducing, it would still be slower than recruiting from the wastelands. And besides, those women can't be caged."
"Then I thought maybe it was mission assignment — that the most dangerous jobs outside the safe zones were given to men.
But when I compared data from forty-one high-fatality missions across the past century, the problem wasn't in the assignments.
It was in how blood loss affects bullet-time duration."
His words quickened with intensity.
"When blood loss hits ten percent, 93% of men can still maintain bullet-time, compared to 97% of women.
At thirty percent loss, those numbers drop to 46% for men and 89% for women.
And past forty percent, most men go into shock or die outright — while forty-three percent of women can still keep fighting."
He lowered his voice.
"Female Mercury Needles only lose combat capacity past fifty percent blood loss.
They have an overwhelming natural advantage in resisting it."
Though he tried to stay calm, emotion cracked through his restraint.
"That's the real reason men die more — the longer and bloodier a fight is, the worse it gets for us."
"So what?" Calvin said flatly.
Sean stared at him. "Carl… have you ever thought that people like us — men like us — were born to be tools?"
Calvin gave a short, bitter laugh. "…Hah."
"You remember last semester's introduction to biology?" Sean continued quietly.
"In any sexually reproducing species, most males are expendable.
Because the females hold the power of continuation. As long as a handful of males survive, the species can reproduce.
"We're the disposable ones, Carl — the trash.
Born unprotected, built to be thrown away.
It doesn't matter whether it's Hekla or here — it's always the same."
Sean held Calvin's gaze.
"I've figured it out now. No one — no system, no cause — is going to drain the life out of me again.
I belong to myself. I'll live by my own will.
That's the only way to make our survival mean something.
That's the only way Mom would be proud—"
Calvin tore his arm free, his expression full of disgust.
"Carl!" Sean shouted, stumbling after him as Calvin turned to leave. "Don't you get it yet?
We shouldn't be on the front lines!
No one here truly cares about us — the Mercury Needles are just using us as expendables!
We should find a way into logistics, or even the civil defense forces inside the safe zones!
Only then can we escape this system of being discarded, climb higher, move forward, maybe even—"
"Get out of my way!"
Calvin roared, shoving Sean hard.
Sean lost his balance and fell to the floor.
He had never seen Calvin so furious; for a moment, he could only sit there, stunned.
Calvin drew in a deep breath and turned away.
Panic flickered across Sean's face. He hesitated, about to say something, when Calvin suddenly stopped.
"Carl…?" Sean called softly. "Carl, we—"
"If we lose our land, we are nothing."
Calvin left those words hanging in the air, then walked away.
Sean called his name again and again, but Calvin didn't look back.
He kept walking until his figure disappeared down the corridor.
Then, slowly, he reached into his pocket and pressed pause on the recorder.
---
That evening, Calvin stood outside Valenti's office and knocked lightly on the door.
"Come in."
Valenti turned and was surprised to see him enter, face shadowed with thought.
A few days ago, when she'd asked to speak with him about Sean, he had refused — said he needed time.
Now that he had come on his own, perhaps something had changed.
Valenti smiled faintly and gestured for him to sit.
"Is there something I can help you with?"
"…I want to talk about Sean," Calvin said quietly.
"About him and Hester."
"I see."
"Yesterday, Ms. Molly suggested I record my conversations with Sean — she said it would help reconstruct things accurately afterward." Calvin frowned. "But—"
"There was such a suggestion?" Valenti's eyes widened. "That's inappropriate."
Calvin looked up at her. "So you think it's wrong too?"
"Yes. It's completely wrong," Valenti said, her tone turning serious.
"I'll speak to Molly about it. That kind of surveillance shouldn't be part of your training."
"…I did bring a recorder," Calvin admitted quietly. "But while we were talking, I forgot to turn it on. So I didn't record anything.
Still… if you'd like to hear what I think, I can tell you now."
(End of Chapter)
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