[Warning! Anchor item "Tear of the Ventriloquist's Personality Collapse" detected!]
[Searching for a Batman this anchor can target…]
[Warning! No targetable Batman found.]
[Randomly matching with a weak, low-level Batman… success.]
[Matched: Batmobile.]
[Threat Level: F.]
[Synchronizing… success.]
[Current Crisis Energy: 0.]
[Warning! This Batman originates from the Dark Multiverse. Morality compromised — mental corruption possible!]
Cells… were boiling! Screaming in ecstatic agony!
Genes fell like dominoes, one after another. Invisible, unreal particles on his body kissed and tangled with the very concept of reality, fusing until the line between truth and illusion vanished entirely. Something indescribable unfolded — a phenomenon beyond human language.
[File "Memory of the Batmobile" synchronized.]
[You may now synchronize with other—]
[@#$^&%#!$#!— No additional anchor items detected. Crisis Energy: 0. Temporary synchronization unavailable.]
---
…He once lived among the people, protecting the flock, ensuring peace and safety…
…But then, the sheep rebelled. They didn't want peace or comfort.
Those idiots wanted freedom — and every miserable consequence that came with it…
I was erased from the system, wiped off the face of this planet. My tech, my physical body — all destroyed…
…I had no choice but to upload my consciousness into this massive mechanical body…
---
Wait.
No.
I'm not the Batmobile! I'm not even Batman — I'm Chen Tao!
The surge of chaotic memories crashed into his brain like a tsunami, making his temples throb violently.
Wait a second.
Temples?
Pfft— what temples?
Chen Tao looked down and saw wheels where his arms should've been, spinning helplessly in the air.
Crash!
The sound of shattering glass echoed — he tried to turn his head, but he didn't even have one. In the rear-view mirror, he saw his expanded car-body crush through a glass door beside him.
"What the… I turned into an off-road vehicle!?"
???
"Ugh…"
Endless torrents of memory kept flooding in — the Batmobile's entire life: love, hatred, sorrow, resentment. Every ounce of his agony poured into Chen Tao's mind, awakening an uncontrollable urge to destroy — to burn Gotham to the ground.
He glanced at the Ventriloquist — and for a brief moment, an insane, primal instinct whispered: Bathe in his blood.
If this were a video game, Chen Tao thought, there'd be a huge "Morality -1, -1, -1…" floating over his head right now.
"..."
"So this is the side effect of memory sync, huh? Total psychic contamination.
Falling into evil, basically. But… what's the point of killing the Ventriloquist? How does that benefit me?"
At that moment, his brain simply blinked — and the violent urges vanished, tossed into the mental trash bin.
So effortlessly, it almost annoyed him.
"Got it. Good Batmen raise the moral ceiling, evil Batmen lower the floor.
And me? I don't have morals at all."
Proud.jpg
He wasn't Batman. He couldn't share Batman's values, and he definitely didn't understand all those dramatic moral dilemmas and emotional sacrifices.
For him, it was like the Trolley Problem — while everyone's debating which track to save, he's standing on the sidelines thinking, how much could I sell these photos to the newspapers for?
They weren't even on the same wavelength.
Of course, that's probably because the Batmobile was such a weak version that its negativity barely registered — and Chen Tao simply couldn't empathize.
But what if he synchronized with a stronger, darker Batman? Would things end differently?
Hard to say. For now, he focused on something else.
"Can I turn back to normal?"
As soon as he thought it, half his car-body dissolved into crimson particles of light and reformed into flesh and blood. The storm of memories instantly cut off.
Maybe it was seconds, maybe minutes — but everything returned to normal, as if it had all been a dream.
Chen Tao rubbed his palm and confirmed he was back to his original human Batman form — even his clothes were intact.
He concentrated — and with a whoosh, his left hand morphed into a spinning off-road tire, then instantly turned back.
"So basically… I can transform into that Batmobile anytime I want."
He paused.
"But seriously — what's the point of turning into a damn super off-road car?!"
'Listen to My Engine Roar of Justice'? Give me a break.
And this so-called Alfred Protocol… whatever. His original plan still sounded more reliable.
Chen Tao shook his head. He wasn't the kind to entrust his fate to random unknowns.
He turned back to the Ventriloquist. Thankfully, when he'd captured him earlier, he'd already kicked the hostages out — now the bald middle-aged man was the only witness who saw him transform into a car.
The man stared at him wide-eyed, clutching the Mini-Batman doll, which was yelling something like,
"Good job! That's exactly what a loyal dog should do!"
"Everything you just saw — don't tell anyone."
"Woof!"
"Use human words."
"Okay."
Ignoring that detail, things were going smoothly. The snowball was rolling. With the Ventriloquist under control, Chen Tao could finally work from the shadows — manipulating him to recruit other villains.
He could even use the Ventriloquist's identity to hire international mercenaries using Batman's money.
Then — villain army + mercenary army = pure chaos.
When that happens, even if Bane had six arms and three heads, he'd still get smashed into a pancake!
As for going into battle himself?
No way.
Even if you threw him off Wayne Tower — he'd rather die on the pavement than go play hero.
After all, he was a transmigrator.
Sure, he loved Batman comics, but that didn't mean he wanted to be Batman in real life.
Who in their right mind gives up billions just to skulk around at night in a bat suit, taking out their emotional issues on criminals?
And dragging teenagers into it — dressing them in bright colors, no pants, and sending them to fight psychopaths?
Let's face it — Bruce Wayne had long since lost it.
But Chen Tao was different. He wasn't insane — he was perfectly sane.
All he wanted was to deal with that death-reaper Bane — the only one who knew Batman's true identity — and then retire.
Drink, party, and waste away his remaining energy in Gotham's socialite circles.
Yes, that was the life he wanted.
He didn't claw his way through Hollywood just to end up living like Bruce Wayne.
As for Gotham's future? He already had that figured out.
You think the Kryptonian with a body of steel and the 5,000-year-old Amazon demigoddess are just sitting around doing nothing?
Sure, Chen Tao hadn't seen Clark Kent at the Daily Planet in Metropolis yet, nor Diana Prince working as a relic expert in Boston.
But Lois Lane was already around — so by timeline logic, the other two would appear soon enough.
All he had to do was survive long enough to take out Bane before the big players showed up. Then, his billionaire dream life would be waiting.
As for those future cosmic crises? Please. He'd just play the spoiler from the sidelines.
With all those metahumans and demigods in the Justice League, it's not like they'd need some regular guy like him to save the day.
Chen Tao's heart swelled with hope for his comfortable future.
But for now — step one was defeating Bane.
Or more precisely… making the Ventriloquist call up some cannon fodder—
ah, no, mercenaries.