Chapter 28: To Be a Student or Not
"Whoa, that pretty lady is amazing! She vanished just like that."
Naruto, however, was still stuck on the main point. "So... which one of you is supposed to be my teacher?"
Sakura slammed a fist onto Naruto's head. "You idiot! That's what you're focused on?!"
Jiraiya stared at Sakura, his expression suddenly thoughtful. "That punch, little lady..."
It had a shadow of Tsunade's... Has Tsunade already taken a student? Is she teaching her that monstrous strength?
Sakura snapped her hand back, her face flushing. "I... I'm sorry, Lord Jiraiya! I just..."
"Lord Jiraiya?"
Jiraiya suddenly planted his hands on his hips and roared with laughter. "Hahaha! Just as I thought! My legendary reputation is known even to cute little girls like you!"
Naruto, nursing the new lump on his head, looked disgusted. "You're spraying spit everywhere..."
Jiraiya completely ignored Naruto's jab and zipped over to Sakura. "Little lady, would you like to hear the concept for my newest novel? The protagonist is a brave kunoichi, super strong, I guarantee it's more interesting than any book you've ever read!"
"Huh?" Before Sakura could even react, Jiraiya had whipped out a copy. "Look at this plot point..."
"Lord Jiraiya!" Kakashi lunged, snatching the book away. "Must you show this kind of literature to a minor?"
"What do you mean, 'this kind'?" Jiraiya fumed. "This is art! A-R-T!"
Sakura finally snapped out of it, blushing as she asked, "Um... is Lord Jiraiya... really the legendary author?"
"That's right!" Jiraiya puffed up again. "So? Would you like an autograph...?"
"Yes!" Sakura suddenly pulled out a small notebook, her eyes sparkling. "Please, I need your autograph! My mom is your biggest fan!"
The shop went dead silent.
Kakashi: "..."
Naruto: "..."
Jiraiya: "...Your mom?"
Sakura nodded brightly. "Yes! She's a huge fan of this series. She always said it... encouraged her."
Jiraiya's expression froze solid. "Wait... hold on... Your mom said this book... encouraged her?"
"Mebuki Haruno. Kizashi Haruno's wife," Kakashi added quietly. "She was that genin who used to chase you for autographs."
Jiraiya's face went through several shades. "That... that crazy girl who kept trying to put me in a genjutsu?!"
Sakura's smile vanished. "Lord Jiraiya... what did you just call my mother?"
A cold wind blew through the shop. Jiraiya suddenly felt a chill.
"Ahaha... great weather we're having!" He laughed nervously, backing away, then suddenly snatched Naruto by the scruff of his collar. "I just remembered! I have to take this kid for special training! We're leaving!"
"Hey! I didn't agree to—WAAAAAH!" Naruto's protest vanished as Jiraiya flickered away.
Sakura stood there, her fists cracking. "Kakashi-sensei... Do I have permission to pursue?"
Kakashi quietly put his book away. "I'll go... supervise Naruto's training."
And with a poof, he was gone too.
"Orders up!" Teuchi called out, emerging with a steaming bowl... only to find empty seats and a swaying curtain.
"Huh? Where did everybody go?" he wondered. "Don't tell me... they skipped the bill again?!"
Training Ground
Naruto glared resentfully at Jiraiya.
"Hey! I never agreed to be your student! Besides, you look too weird! You don't look like a real ninja at all!"
"Amazing ninja are supposed to be like Grandpa Hokage."
Naruto put his hands on his hips, doing a terrible imitation of the Third Hokage, and dropped his voice. "Ahem... 'To be Hokage, one must protect everyone in the village...'"
"Like that! You get me?"
A vein throbbed on Jiraiya's forehead. "You brat! I'm one of the Legendary Sannin!"
"So what?" Naruto shot back. "You're the weakest one, right?"
"W-WEAKEST?!" Jiraiya was hopping mad. "Do you know what I did back in the day?!"
"I know, I know!" Naruto mocked him in a high-pitched voice. "'This great sage was a hero who shook the shinobi world, right?'"
"'You'd be lucky to be my student!'"
"'And even if you beg me, I might not agree!'"
Naruto pranced around, striking poses, doing a perfect, infuriating impression.
Jiraiya was so mad his non-existent beard would have been bristling. "You little...! "
Suddenly, a sly grin crossed his face. "Fine. If you think I'm not qualified to be your master..."
He bit his thumb. "Summoning Jutsu: Food Cart Destroyer!"
BOOM!
A massive toad fell from the sky, landing right on top of Naruto.
"Gya! I'm... I'm gonna die!" Naruto's muffled voice came from under the toad's backside. He struggled, his face red, finally popping his head out.
Gamabunta, pipe in his mouth, glanced down. "Jiraiya, you summoned me for this?"
Jiraiya leaped onto Bunta's head, crossing his arms and looking down. "So, brat? Now do you see how amazing I am? This is Gamabunta from Mount Myoboku! Together, we can even take on a Tailed Beast!"
Naruto finally wriggled free, rubbing his aching back. He glared up, totally defiant. "You... you cheated! It's just a giant toad! When I find a bigger one, I'll summon it right on top of you!"
Jiraiya roared with laughter. "Oh? Bigger, huh? You should know, Bunta isn't even the biggest toad on Mount Myoboku."
Bunta exhaled, annoyed. "Hey, Jiraiya. Cut the crap. Why am I here?"
He looked down at Naruto. "Kid. With your tiny chakra, I bet you couldn't even summon a tadpole."
"A tadpole?! Don't underestimate me! When I learn that jutsu, I'll summon something way bigger than you!" Naruto yelled back, his face red.
Bunta and Jiraiya were silent for a beat... then both burst out into a deafening laugh.
Bunta was laughing so hard his pipe fell. "Hahaha! This kid... Hahaha! Jiraiya, he doesn't even know what the jutsu is!"
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at Naruto. "So, kid... become my student, and I'll teach you the Summoning Jutsu."
As he spoke, he pulled out a massive scroll.
Naruto's eyes went wide. "Wh-What's that...?"
"The Mount Myoboku Summoning Contract," Jiraiya said with a grin, unfurling it to reveal a long list of names. "Sign your name... and you'll be able to summon the Toad clan."