***
**City Z - Street Vendor District**
**Location: House of Takoyaki**
**Time: Late Afternoon**
The smell of sizzling batter filled the air.
Dr. Genus, former mastermind of the House of Evolution and current Takoyaki Chef, flipped octopus balls with expert precision. He adjusted his glasses.
"Armored Gorilla," Genus said. "The sauce."
"Yes, Doctor." The cyborg gorilla, wearing an apron over his combat armor, squeezed a bottle of mayonnaise delicately.
Sitting at the counter was **Zombie Man** (S-Class Rank 8). He was eating silently, looking tired.
"It's good," Zombie Man mumbled. "But I'm not here for snacks. My sensors... they picked up a strange biological signal. Something dead... but moving."
Genus wiped his hands. "I abandoned my research on artificial evolution. It wasn't me."
"I know," Zombie Man stared at his takoyaki. "This feels... older. Like a curse."
Suddenly, the cooler box under the counter started to rattle.
*THUMP. THUMP. SQUELCH.*
"Did we buy the fresh squid?" Genus asked.
"Yes," Armored Gorilla nodded. "From the market where the 'Bald Hero' shops. It was on sale."
The cooler exploded.
*ROAAAR!*
A mass of purple slime and tentacles erupted. It wasn't just squid. It was **Spade Kingdom Devil Meat**. Specifically, a chunk of Adrammelech's leftovers that had mutated in the Dimension Gap before falling into the City Z fishing supply.
The Squid-Devil grew. It sprouted six red eyes and a mouth filled with razor teeth.
**"I HUNGER,"** the Takoyaki-Demon hissed. **"THE SAUCE... I CRAVE THE SAUCE!"**
Genus dropped his spatula. "Fascinating! Spontaneous mutation triggered by mayonnaise?!"
"No!" Zombie Man stood up, drawing his massive hand-cannon. "It's a monster!"
***
**Regeneration vs. Cursed Flesh**
Zombie Man fired. *BANG-BANG-BANG.*
Heavy caliber rounds tore the Squid-Demon apart.
But the purple flesh didn't just heal; it *cursed* the bullets. The lead projectiles dissolved into black smoke before they could exit the body. The holes knit together instantly with runes glowing under the slime.
"**Blood Magic Variant: Calamari Regeneration!**" the monster screeched.
It lashed out. A tentacle smashed Zombie Man into a lamp post, snapping his spine.
*Crack.*
Zombie Man groaned, his own healing factor kicking in. His bones snapped back into place.
"It heals faster than me?" Zombie Man observed, unbothered by the pain. "And it absorbed the kinetic energy? This isn't biology."
"**I WILL EAT THE CHEF!**" The Squid-Demon lunged at Genus.
*WHOOOSH.*
A wall of blue fire cut the tentacle off.
Genos landed on the roof of the Takoyaki stand. The **Cyber-Grimoire** floated next to him, pages glowing neon green.
"Target Identified," Genos announced. "Devil-Class Biological Construct. Threat Level: Delicious if cooked properly."
"Genos!" Dr. Genus gaped. "You... you were the cyborg that destroyed my lab! You've... changed?"
Genos looked down. His chest was transparent now, revealing a pulsing core of **Witch Heart Runes** mixing with a nuclear reactor.
"Doctor Genus," Genos nodded. "I have evolved. I no longer rely on mere hardware. I run on Mana."
"Mana?!" Genus grabbed his head. "Stop making up words! Energy comes from ATP or Nuclear Fusion! There is no Mana!"
Genos raised his hand.
"**Machine Magic: Trap Setting - Grease Trap.**"
A magical circle appeared on the ground. When the Squid-Demon stepped on it, the gravity multiplied by ten, pinning it to the asphalt.
"Gravity manipulation without a graviton particle emitter?" Genus whispered, his scientific worldview crumbling. "That defies thermodynamics!"
"It's a spell," Genos said helpfully.
"I HATE YOU!" Genus screamed at the laws of physics.
***
**Enter the Hungry One**
Saitama walked around the corner. He stopped.
"Smells like seafood," Saitama sniffed.
He saw the destroyed stall. He saw the Armored Gorilla hiding behind the trash can. He saw the ten-foot Devil Squid trying to eat Zombie Man.
Saitama walked up to the counter (which was miraculously untouched).
"One large order, please," Saitama said.
The Squid-Demon paused. It looked down at the bald man.
**"HUMAN? I AM A SUPREME CALAMARI! KNEEL BEFORE—"**
Saitama frowned.
"You're making the chef hide," Saitama said. "If the chef hides, I don't get food."
Saitama poked the Devil Squid.
He didn't punch. He poked it with two fingers, right in the eye.
**"Killer Move: Serious Eye Poke."**
*SQUELCH-POP.*
The force of the poke sent a shockwave through the demon's fluid-filled body. It rippled.
The demon froze. Its regenerating cells were shocked into paralysis.
"Now," Saitama looked at Genus. "Is this edible?"
Dr. Genus looked at the monster. "It's... biologically monstrous... high protein... regeneration means infinite supply..."
Genus's eyes lit up. He saw the business model.
"YES!" Genus yelled. "Armored Gorilla! Start the grill!"
***
**The Feast**
Ten minutes later.
Saitama, Genos, and Zombie Man were sitting on the curb eating skewers.
"It's spicy," Saitama said, chewing a piece of the Devil Squid. "Kind of tingles on the tongue."
"It's the residual cursed mana," Genos analyzed. "It acts like Szechuan pepper."
Zombie Man ate a piece. He healed a scratch on his face instantly. "This meat... it boosts regeneration? Interesting."
Dr. Genus was frantically taking notes while cooking. "The cells replicate upon contact with heat! It's an Infinite Takoyaki Glitch!"
"Wait," Saitama stopped. He looked at Genus.
"Infinite?" Saitama asked.
"Yes! As long as the core isn't destroyed, it grows back!"
Saitama stood up. He put a hand on Genus's shoulder.
"Doc," Saitama said with grave seriousness. "You're a genius."
"I know," Genus wept. "But magic... I still don't understand the magic..."
***
**Bonus Scene: The Hero Hunter Returns**
Garou watched from a rooftop two blocks away. He held his stomach where Saitama had hit him with the sword handle days ago.
He watched them eating the cursed monster meat.
"They consume monsters..." Garou whispered, eyes glowing yellow. "To gain strength?"
Garou looked at a pigeon.
*No. Too small.*
He looked at the news ticker on a billboard.
**"BREAKING: Monster Association surfacing in City Z."**
Garou grinned.
"Clover Kingdom mana... Sword Ki... Magical Cyborgs..."
He cracked his neck.
"If I'm going to beat that Baldy... I need to eat what he eats."
Garou turned and leaped into the darkness.
"I'm going to find this 'Mana'."
*(Meanwhile, in the distance, a portal flickered. A single black bird with anti-magic eyes flew out, landed on a wire, and watched Saitama finish his meal.)*
Nero (Secre) tweeted softly. **"Status: He's still bald. Still hungry. Returning to base."**