Adults usually require anywhere between seven to nine hours of sleep. I was an outlier in that regard. Not by much, mind you, but I was usually fine with sleeping anywhere between six and seven hours a night.
However, I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that teenagers sleep longer. Anywhere between eight to ten hours.
That, on top of how exhausted I was, surely meant I slept really long. Or so I assumed.
Because I could not tell how long I had slept. Obviously. I just knew that when I woke up, it was still pitch black.
Not just because the weather had covered the entrance to my shelter with a thin layer of snow. But also because when I crawl my way outside, the sun hasn't risen yet.
And while I could certainly try to eat in the dark again, I really didn't want to. So instead I sit around and wait. Giving me an excuse to massage myself. My legs and arms are absolutely killing me. Feeling like lead weights.
Knowing that I have to abuse them again today is not filling me with confidence or joy. Though I know, intellectually, that the pain I'm feeling right now is the good kind of pain. The kind of pain that makes you stronger.
At the moment, though, it was not fun at all. So I laze around. Hoping that even a single minute more of rest will help me push on once the sun has risen and I'm walking again.
Hoping that today I can at least cover ten kilometers, unlike yesterday. A big ask considering you essentially have to do every step twice in this thick-ass snow. And twenty kilometers of walking might not be in this body. Not after what I did to it yesterday.
But I'll have to try. `It's really the only thing I can do anyway.` I think to myself while collecting some snow from outside. Skimming the top of it and popping it into my mouth. Letting it melt to drink it.
Something that is a big no-no for survival situations like this. At least usually. But with these magical clothes I have on, it becomes a non-issue. My body temperature is staying exactly the same despite me shoveling a few more handfuls of snow into my mouth.
"Hmm Mmm Mmm Hmm." Once my thirst is quenched, I pass the time humming tunes to myself.
An action that only reminds me of this body not being mine. My inner thoughts sound quite different from my actual voice in this body. A bit of a dissonance remains despite the fact that I talked to myself so much yesterday.
In this moment of stillness, where I had nothing to do, things surfaced that I don't exactly want to think about. Things that I really don't want to think about.
My hand comes up to cover my face. "Hfffff." A long breath escapes me as I fight to regain control over my emotions. "Fuck." I grit out as I take more deep breaths.
My mind, of course, chose now of all times to think about my family. My parents. My siblings.
The only people I ever really cared about. They are the only ones I love so deeply that I always worry about them. Even if it's just them being home late by an hour or so. The ones I would have gladly sacrificed my life for. The ones I would have done anything and everything for.
The first time I feel a different kind of temperature on my skin, even with the hood up, is the hot tears streaking down my cheeks as I think about how worried they must be about me. Gone without a trace. Without so much as a goodbye.
"Fuck." I mutter again under my breath. "Hfffff." The sounds escaping me are more reminiscent of sobs and sniffs than actual breaths. My lips trembled with every word pushed out. "Fuck. I'm sorry."
I apologize. Not just for not thinking about them until now. But also for not telling them enough how much I love them. Now that the possibility of me ever meeting them was basically zero.
The only reason I don't fall apart completely is that a voice in the back of my mind tells me that maybe time wasn't passing by back on Earth. That maybe I can escape this world and find my way back home.
Without any time having passed on Earth. That maybe my family isn't desperately looking for me right now. Worried out of their minds and potentially endangering themselves at my behest.
A sliver of hope. Nothing more than a small candle surrounded by a vast darkness. But I cling to it. Warming myself on that small flame.
For the first time in my life, I'm really seeing just how important my family is to my well-being. That I'm not nearly as strong as I pretend to be without them. Just how much I leaned on them all for emotional stability. How easily I would fall apart without them.
Their memories and the hope lit inside me gave me the strength to pull myself together again. Clapping my hands against my cheeks before I took a few more deep breaths. Wiping the remnants of my tears away.
Just in time to see the first signs of light outside my shelter. The darkness of both the night and my heart slowly lifted. At least enough for me to remember what I need to do. And that, for now, is to survive and make it to some sort of civilization.
A goal I'm now more resolved than ever before to achieve. Even the soreness of my muscles is momentarily forgotten as I crawl outside my shelter to greet the first light of the sun. Watching the first sunrise in this new world.
Or I would. If the clouds and fog weren't in the way. "Aww, come on. Fuck you." I chuckle as I shake my head at my bad luck.
"Ehh. No matter." I shrug. Because in the end, it doesn't matter if I see the sun or not. The light of it pierces through the fog and clouds anyway. Enough to allow me to see.
Allowing me to finally eat breakfast. Not the unplanned wolfing down of a crumb of bread and a muffin I did yesterday. But a planned-out and nutritionally balanced meal.
Carefully, meticulously planned. So that my provisions last as long as possible while also giving me as much energy as I need.
With me eventually settling on some bread, a can of preserved, salted meat, and a few pickled vegetables. Forgoing the sugary treats since I had one yesterday, and I figured that was enough to tide me over for the rest of the day.
"Okay. Had some water. A good, long cry. And ate a balanced breakfast. Sounds like a good start to this day to me. So let's get it, gang." The clapping noise I make after finishing my breakfast and packing my things is like a signal for me to start walking.
`Luckily, I can just leave the shelter behind as it is. No one will complain.` The second I start walking, useless thoughts start creeping in again. But such is life. I was used to dealing with them. So they don't bother me nearly as much as I'm sure they would others.
They are also the only thing keeping me company. As absolutely nothing of any interest happens around me. For the whole day. This place seems more desolate and free of life than any place I have ever heard of back on Earth.
"Even in the Siberian tundra, there is more shit going on than here." Or so I assume. I've never been to the Siberian tundra. So I was just guessing.
But one thing was for sure. This place was dreadfully boring. And if I was heading in the wrong direction and learned that I needed to go back the other way, I was for sure not going to cross this plain again.
The only reason I even know where I am headed at the moment is that I deliberately aligned my shelter with the mountain I saw yesterday.
And so it was also kind of impossible for me to tell if I had managed to get any closer to the forest and mountain in the distance. Leaving me no other choice but to just hope I was making good headway.
`Doubtful.` Of course, it was doubtful. I was under no illusion that even the ten kilometers I had set myself as a target for today were going to be extremely hard to reach. What with this body shouting at me to just stop and fall over with every step I take.
With me only having walked somewhere between six and seven kilometers by the time I need to make shelter for today. Something I only figure out because the fog eventually cleared, allowing me to see the forest and mountain in the distance again.
Pretty much the only victory I can celebrate today is that I managed to make the shelter a lot faster than yesterday, despite my exhaustion. Probably because yesterday was my first time actually building a shelter like that, and I wasted time on things I shouldn't have.
This, in turn, lets me eat dinner in the fading light of the sun. It consists of some of the leftover vegetables from this morning. Some more bread. Another muffin. And some smoked meat this time. A few strips of jerky.
Not that what I eat fills my stomach. I'm still hungry when I put my things away. But I know I can't eat anymore. Otherwise, I'll go through the food too fast. `If I eat any more, I won't even make it to the forest, much less across that mountain.`
Fortunately, I have great willpower. At least when it comes to these kinds of things. So even though my stomach is growling, I lie down and go to sleep. Having survived another day in this new world.
Though it wasn't like anything of note happened today. It was just me fighting myself, basically. My emotions and this untrained body. But that doesn't mean I'm any less tired.
Sleep again, claiming me like it was trying to snatch me up and keep me. My eyes had already closed even before the sun fully set. The clouds that had covered the sky for the last two days cleared up while I peacefully slept the night away.