"Dave, your uncle has a gift for you too." Hashirama looked at the phone in his hand with great surprise.
From now on, he wouldn't have to go looking for Madara just to hang out!
Hashirama then pulled out a massive scroll, filled with his insights on some Wood Release techniques and a range of ninjutsu from simple to moderately difficult.
"Hehe, thanks, Uncle Hashirama." Dave grinned like a 1.2-meter-tall kid.
He had actually been wondering if he could only summon plants or if he could also use some Wood Release ninjutsu like Hashirama.
However, over the past few months, Hashirama—as the Hokage—had been busy with village affairs every day. Dave had been developing these gadgets with Orochi Roku, so he hadn't found a chance to ask.
"Dave, happy birthday." The little girl Uchiha Tsukimi blushed and pulled out a scarf she'd sewn herself, handing it to Dave.
Dave smiled, took it, and wrapped it around his neck. No wonder Tsukimi had been sewing something with needle and thread during class these past few days.
Tsukimi was thrilled to see that Dave liked her gift.
As the eldest daughter of the Uchiha clan's second elder, she was usually allowed to do whatever she wanted.
But since getting engaged to Dave, the second elder's wife had been teaching her cooking, laundry, sewing, and other homemaking skills.
Even her training had been put on hold.
After all, she was engaged to Dave—what was the point of training? She had not only the Uchiha clan behind her but also the Senju clan.
Who in Konoha would dare bully her? So, the second elder had shifted his focus to his genius son, Kagami, making Kagami miserable every day.
He'd come to Dave—his brother-in-law—crying and complaining about his father's harsh ways.
Hiruzen's gift was simple and straightforward. It was still wrapped in a box. Well, kid, you thought this through. Dave sneaked a peek, and inside was a photo album of Miss Yui. Dave almost shouted, "Hiruzen, you get me."
As for Danzo... should I say he has high IQ or low EQ? He actually gave Dave a gold-plated hoe? That's right—a gold-plated hoe. Everyone stared at Danzo in confusion. Did this hoe have some deeper meaning??
"Ahem, Dave—didn't you say on your first day at school that your dream was to have a plot of land to grow plants on? I figured you liked planting, so... yeah..." Danzo turned a bit red under everyone's gaze, looking embarrassed.
He'd just realized Hiruzen had tricked him. Who gives someone a hoe at a birthday party?
"Ahem, Danzo—you're thoughtful. Come on, everyone, let's eat!" Dave felt a bit awkward too. Did this guy have such a good memory?
The rest of the meal was uneventful. At most, Hashirama got drunk and kept spilling stories about Madara's childhood embarrassments, making the whole table blush. Madara was so furious he nearly took out the ugly man on the spot.
The next day...
"Brother Roku, do you think our kidney-loving phones will sell well?" Orochi Roku and Dave sat behind the counter in the newly opened phone store.
"...I don't know... But I do want to know why you called this phone the 'Love Kidney'?" Orochi Roku shook his head, then asked puzzled.
"Of course, to remind people to cherish their kidneys! What if one day our phones skyrocket in price, and some die-hard fans sell a kidney to buy one?" Dave shuddered, as if picturing some nightmare...
"By the way, Brother Roku—have you ever thought about becoming a ninja?"
Dave snapped back to reality and remembered something: In the original story, Orochimaru's parents died in the First Shinobi World War, right? But Brother Roku isn't even a ninja now—how could he die? How would he end up on the battlefield?
"...Honestly... yeah, I have... The village just got founded, and crop prices are all over the place.
Last year's harvest only sold for thirty thousand ryō.
I was thinking after this year's harvest, Yu and I would sell the land and try becoming ninjas.
After all, even a simple ninja mission pays a few thousand ryō—but looks like we won't need to now."
Orochi Roku was stunned for a moment, then said solemnly...
"...Well, you've still got to see me lead Konoha's people to prosperity. Brother Roku, when your son is born, he'll have to thank me for not letting his parents die young!" So, it all made sense now. Dave thought for a bit, then said happily.
Haha, Orochimaru! Your parents don't have to die young! He'll definitely thank his uncle in the future!
"...Alright, I just came by to check things out today.
I'll head back and keep researching.
You're too kind.
I still need to work on that local network, Wi-Fi, computers, and the other stuff you suggested.
I really don't know how your brain comes up with all that."
Orochi Roku rolled his eyes at Dave, stood up, yawned, shot Dave a resentful look, and left.
He was handling all those things alone, and Dave felt a bit guilty about it.
Sister Yu had come to him two days ago, saying Orochi Roku hadn't been home in a month.
Her expression was like that of a scorned woman.
Dave had panicked and quickly dragged Orochi Roku out of the lab, tossing him home to rest.
"Hehe, keep at it, Brother Roku... Until your son is born, you'll have to handle these on your own! Go home, make it up to her, and hurry up with that kid. Then things will be easier for you!" Dave muttered to himself, watching Orochi Roku's back.
"Yo! Hot-blooded and youthful boss! What's this place?" At that moment, a passionate voice came from the store entrance, pulling Dave from his thoughts of getting Konoha's people on a 996 work schedule in the future.
Dave was stunned—this... this voice brimming with passion and youth... Sure enough, he looked toward the door and saw a man in green tights, with a bowl cut, a resolute face with a beard, and teeth so dazzling they nearly blinded Dave!
This kappa monster! Though not as familiar as the two from the original story, it was still very similar.
"Um, hello, uncle—this is the Love Kidney Phone Store." Dave was stunned for a second, then said enthusiastically.
"So... I don't want to buy anything—I just saw the hiring notice at the door. Do you think I could work here?" The middle-aged man was stunned, then said awkwardly.
"Sure, sure—of course! Just watch the store!!" Dave was almost dying of excitement.
"Then... is the ten thousand ryō a month in the ad for real?" the middle-aged man hesitated and asked.
"Of course it's real—but you and I are meant to be! Fifteen thousand ryō a month! What's your name?"
"Might Wai."