I woke up in a strange forest. I quickly looked around and could only see endless greenery and trees.
In my pupils were a light, a bright light which would guide me. As for it's guidance, I can't fully decipher the way it communicates yet.
I began walking, I had no idea where I was going but I couldn't stay here.
From the light, I knew that monsters, demons and abominations will chase me in the forest.
I did not understand what I committed in my life to deserve this.
These troubles wouldn't let me leave the forest until I defeated them. The light gave me this thought.
I felt it was better to adapt quickly, if I am in such a dangerous place. There must be a way out, right?
I had to discover the forest, and find a solution as soon as possible!
...
As I was walking for days, stopping at night to think for a destination. Then after three long weeks of wandering I realized that I barely progressed.
In these three weeks, I was chased multiple times, I ran away in fear twice and fought back once.
I was tired after all these encounters and laid down to sleep in the comfortable grass. After my nap I usually spent half the day looking for food. I finally found some berries that looked very delicious, I was very hungry and couldn't wait to eat them.
It had a rather strong start but then a bitter aftertaste was stick to my tongue.
It was poisonous, this one in particular was called resentment berry. One of the poisonous fruits I came to know on my way, I also ate a lot of it. By mistake.
After all this, I craved some crab, or meat. Anything that was not a fruit.
I decided to find a river to catch some fish, even crab if I am lucky ,but seeing that it started to get dark I gave up on the idea.
For today, of course.
I was preparing my place to sleep, gathered some strange big leaves to make a decent sleeping bag shape. It was not perfect but I have gotten used to it in the recent weeks.
Also It helped me to get at least four hours of sleep, and even trapped some of the heat inside.
Like this I could make a small camp every night. It usually took one or two hours to make.
Just like that a whole day was already behind me, and I barely did anything.
Yesterday I ate some grateful fruits. I always kept some in my pocket, just in case my spirit hit a low.
It was really hard to differentiate all the fruits the forest had. A lot of times I poisoned myself because of my inability to tell them apart. Some berries had their good and bad counterparts, those almost looked identical.
Like even grateful fruit had their counterpart, ungrateful fruit.
Of course, now I try my best to notice the differences. I need to avoid eating the ungrateful fruit, it makes me feel very worthless.
As I was moving in my bed I reminisced about the light in my pupils. I had to learn how to follow it's guidance, so I figured I'd meditate and wait for it to speak. This slowly became a routine, which proved necessary for my journey.
In my first week in the forest, I was constantly harassed by lazy mosquitoes and distraction flies. My goal for this week was getting to deal with less of them. They are very persistent beings, one trait I envied from them.
As I meditated, trying to clear my thoughts from the way, the light gave me the idea of seeking goal navigation tree.
I stared at the stars, curious about tomorrow.
Morning came and rainbow rhythm birds were chirping everywhere, waking me up.
I have decided to climb on a tree to locate what is around me. Maybe I could get an idea where the goal navigation tree was.
As I was moving among the branches, I felt something bit me. I felt dizzy and my hands were shaky.
I panicked.
Suddenly a huge swarm of doubt hornets were heading towards me in an astronomical speed. I didn't know what to do, I tried to move my left arm to grab onto the lower branches.
In my haste, one of my legs slipped while moving. In the slip of a second the hornet swarm was already facing me in the eye.
I couldn't try to resist or escape, because my body involuntarily shut down, not listening to my brain however I urged it.
I could only watch as their figure grew bigger and my vision got darker.
The next second I felt my whole being spiral into two parts and the world spinning out of control.
...
I opened my eyes.
I was laid out on the grass, barely in one piece. I looked around and it was already evening, the hornets gone and me still alive.
My body ached in a thousand parts, my bones felt like they had countless craters in them.
I stayed motionless.
Tears slowly welled up in my eyes, all I wanted to do is cry and scream.
I gasped for air and felt utterly vulnerable.
My mind was flooded with all kinds of thoughts. Most were results of all the hornet stings I got. Doubt occupied my mind, that is all I could feel.
I no longer had the motivation to get up, save myself or even find the goal navigation tree.
These past weeks were just the beginning.
How could I ever progress forward if I am so weak?