Chapter 12 Ha! The Happy Trio and the Kobold's Nightmare
As the light from the teleportation array faded, the temple plaza instantly became crowded.
The thirty-five players from the second closed beta test, like huskies just released from their cages, instantly turned the originally tense atmosphere into...extremely noisy.
"Holy crap! This air! This smell of dirt! This really feels like another world!" "My hand! My hand is so realistic! I can feel my fingerprints!" "Where is this? A newbie village? Why is it so run-down?" "Is that an NPC sitting in that black mist up there? So cool!"
Li Wei sat upright on the high platform, looking down at the group of lively "leeks" (a derogatory term for easily exploited people), barely suppressing the urge to cover his ears. Although he was somewhat prepared, the decibel level of these people still exceeded his expectations.
Just then, a path suddenly parted in the crowd.
The three oddballs didn't look around at the scenery like the others; instead, they rushed to the center of the square with a very clear goal in mind, as if they were in a hurry.
Their IDs have a highly consistent style, and even their character creation exudes an aura of "not only being strong but also being eccentric."
On the left is a tall, thin guy with sharp eyes; his ID is "Hakimi North and South Green Beans". In the middle is a short, stocky guy with a face full of fat; his ID is "Ashigahayekunailong". On the right is a guy with a mohawk, doing warm-up exercises in place; his ID is "Oh Majili Dingdongji".
These three are clearly acquaintances in real life, or even a long-term, regular team.
As soon as they stood still, the leader of the "Hakimi North and South Green Beans" group sharply scanned the entire area and precisely locked onto "What Canned Food I Said," who was clearly in a commanding position in the crowd.
The three walked straight to the canned goods. Without any preamble, Hakimi asked directly, "Boss, you seem to be in charge. Just tell me, what are we going to do now? Who are we going to chop up?"
The simple opening remarks conveyed an eager enthusiasm.
"What canned food?" He squinted and pushed up his non-existent glasses. "Goodness, a few hardcore ones have arrived."
However, before he could answer, a series of rapid whooshing sounds suddenly came from the mist surrounding the temple.
"Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!"
A dozen rough javelins and stones, carrying a nauseating, fishy smell, whistled in from the darkness.
"careful!"
His veteran player instincts kicked in instantly. With a roar of "Damn it!", his left arm, once severed but now fully healed after his resurrection, unleashed astonishing power. He instinctively raised the heavy stone slab he'd been using as a shield, blocking the way for the still-stunned newcomers.
Bang! Bang!
Sparks flew as the stone slab was smashed.
"Enemy attack!!!"
The voice, which had been stammering, suddenly became sharp and impassioned: "This is not a drill! Everyone, grab your weapons! This is your rookie mission!"
Along with his roar, a blood-red quest box popped up in all players' field of vision at just the right moment:
[Urgent Mission: First Blood (Beginner Dungeon)] [Mission Objective: Repel the probing attack of the kobold vanguard!] [Mission Description: The greedy kobolds have discovered your arrival. They fear your numbers, but crave your flesh and blood even more. Let them know who truly rules this place!]
"Something strange?!"
The trio who had been encouraging each other with "Ha!" suddenly changed their expressions. Their childish fervor instantly transformed into a palpable killing intent.
"Hakimi! Flanking maneuver from the left!" "Ashiga! Frontal pressure!" "Ommadili! Free hunt!"
As if they had rehearsed countless times, the trio instantly picked up several broken bricks from the ground, and without a word, charged toward the temple gate with strange shouts.
"Ha—! Experience packs! All experience packs!"
Meanwhile, outside the temple.
The kobold leader, Gru, was hiding behind a tree, watching all of this with a somber expression.
Just now, it witnessed the number of people in the temple square triple in an instant!
From a pitiful dozen or so people, the number suddenly increased to fifty!
"Damn it...the gods...are summoning an army..."
Gru tightened his grip on the axe. His original plan was to use their numerical advantage (30 to 15) to crush them, but now the enemy had the upper hand.
However, as a seasoned hunter, it quickly discovered the weaknesses of this group of new "humans".
"No armor...no metal weapons...it's all a mess..."
Gru sneered. In his eyes, these were nothing more than a bunch of newly hatched weaklings, and no matter how many there were, they would just be easy prey.
"Attack! Probe!"
Gru let out a low growl.
Upon receiving the order, the kobold vanguard, consisting of five soldiers armed with spears and wooden shields, immediately burst out of the mist and charged towards the steps of the temple gate, howling as they went.
They were incredibly fast, like a pack of mad dogs.
However, just as they were about to rush up the steps...
The kobold at the very front suddenly slipped.
"grumble?"
That's the slime super glue that "Edison reincarnated" applied yesterday, dried, and then got wet again by the night dew!
Slurp—!
The dog-headed man seemed to be dancing ballet on the ice. He lost his balance and fell face down onto the steps, then slid smoothly down to the players' feet.
Then came the second one, the third one...
The five menacing vanguard teams instantly turned into five rolling gourds, crashing and tumbling together in a chaotic heap.
The scene was quite awkward at one point.
The "Ha" trio at the front of the group were stunned for a moment when they saw the dog-headed man sliding down to their feet.
Then, the trio once again raised the bricks in unison, their eyes gleaming with cruelty.
"Huh! Is this takeout delivered to my door?"
"Ashiga! Chokehold!" "Ommagiri! Mambo!"
Bang! Bang! Bang!
There were no rules, no techniques, just the most unadorned street brawls.
Fifty players faced five dog-headed men who were dazed and confused.
This is not war, this is bullying.
"Steal the monster! First come, first served!" "That leg is mine! Don't even think about taking it from me!" "I'm a newbie! Let me finish it off!"
Under the guidance of veteran players, the new players unleashed astonishing combat power (mainly their desire to steal kills).
In just half a minute, this vanguard squad was submerged in a sea of players, leaving not even a complete corpse behind.
Deep within the mist, Gru watched this scene, his eyes flashing intensely red.
It wasn't that it hadn't seen human armies before, but it had never seen one so... reckless, so insane, that they were even cursing each other over who stole whose kills while they were fighting.
"These guys... aren't pushovers."
Gru's intuition told it that these seemingly frail humans might all have serious mental illnesses.
"All troops...form ranks!"
Gru raised his rusty iron axe and let out a roar that shook the wasteland.
The remaining kobolds roared simultaneously, and a faint red glow appeared on their bodies.
That wasn't some low-quality particle effect, but rather the racial talent of the kobolds, awakened under their leader's guidance—[group bloodlust].
In this state, their pain perception is greatly reduced, their strength is increased by 20%, and they are completely immune to fear.
"Awooo—!!!"
With a synchronized roar, the remaining twenty-five kobolds were no longer a scattered force. They raised their tattered wooden shields to form a solid shield wall, spears protruding from the gaps in the shields, like a bulldozer covered in spikes, pressing down on the temple gate.
"Holy crap! This monster can go into a special form?"
Before the "Hakimi North and South Green Beans" at the forefront could even retract the brick in his hand, a long spear stabbed towards him like a venomous snake.
"Pfft!"
"-100 (Fatal Wound)!"
Hakimi felt a chill in his chest and was suddenly suspended in mid-air.
"Ha...I can't ha anymore..."
He spat out a mouthful of blood and vanished in a flash of white light.
Next came "Ashigahayeku Nailong" and "Omakiri Dingdongji". Although these two reacted extremely quickly and tried to block, their resistance was as futile as an infant against the kobold shield array whose power had surged and whose coordination was impeccable.
"Bang! Bang!"
With two muffled thuds, the two men were sent flying by the shields, and before they even hit the ground, they were riddled with holes by the spears that followed up the attack.
The "Ha" trio was wiped out in 3 seconds.
This horrific scene instantly dampened the enthusiasm of the newbies behind them.
"That damage is outrageous! One shot, one kill?" "How did they suddenly get stronger? Didn't they just slip and fall?" "How do we break this shield wall? We only have stones!"
As the kobold shield formation pressed closer and had already stepped onto the temple steps, the players' formation began to fall into disarray.
"Don't panic! Everyone, don't panic!"
At the critical moment, "What Canned Food I Said" stood on a high place and shouted loudly through the amplification function of the [Evil God's Heart-Protecting Mirror].
He had been observing the situation. Through the insightful ability of the Heart Mirror, he clearly saw the [Bloodlust (Remaining Time: 10 minutes)] buff in the kobold's status bar.
"That's a buff! They've activated Berserk mode; we can't fight them head-on!"
The canned food's brain was working at lightning speed.
This is like playing an MMORPG; if the boss goes berserk and you try to tank it, aren't you just asking for death?
But... there is no safe zone here. If we don't resist, the temple gates will fall, and everyone will die.
"Since we can't tough it out, we'll risk our lives."
Canned Food glanced at the group of players who, though fearful, were still eager to try, a ruthless glint in his eyes.
"Listen up, everyone! I am 'What Canned Food Says,' and anyone who doesn't want to die must obey my orders!"
"In the current situation, a direct confrontation would definitely result in total annihilation. But we have an advantage they don't have—we can resurrect! Once they die, they're truly dead!"
"Gangzi! You take all the strength-type players and those with shields (stone slabs) and form the first echelon! Don't worry about killing them, just block the steps and prevent them from rushing up!"
"Huskies! Take the most agile ones and throw stones, mud, and chili powder at the flanks! Use any underhanded tricks you can to disrupt their vision!"
"The remaining new recruits!"
The canned food pointed at the group of bewildered players from the second closed beta test, his voice turning cold and maniacal:
"Take off all your gear! Nothing but your underwear! Grab two rocks and charge!"
"What? Take off your gear?" "Naked tactics?"
The newlyweds were astonished.
"Listen to me!" Canned Food spoke very quickly, "We have a 1-hour cooldown when we die. That's a long time in the game, but in reality, it's just the time it takes to eat a meal. And when you die, you lose the durability of the items you're carrying."
"So! In order to avoid losing money, leave the equipment for the survivors! You guys are the first wave of suicide squads!"
"Your mission is singular: charge in, grab the kobolds' legs, bite their ears, and stuff sand into their eyes! Use your lives to bleed them! Use your lives to wear down their buff duration!"
"You'll all be back in action in an hour! Then it'll be time to rotate to the next wave!"
"This is the [One-Hour Cycle Regeneration Flow] tactic!"
The entire room fell silent for a second.
Then, an even more frenzied cheer erupted.
"Holy crap! This tactic...it's totally like the Fourth Calamity!" "Got it! It's an endless suicide rush!" "I just created the account, so dying won't hurt! Brothers, let's take off our gear!"
In an instant, the temple square was a sea of white. Dozens of men, wearing only the shorts given to them by the system, were yelling and throwing their newbie gear on the ground, clutching stones, mud, and some even grabbing a handful of slime gel that Gangzi hadn't had a chance to use yet.
"For the land forsaken by God! For the black bread!"
"Charge!!!"
The first wave of the "streaking suicide squad," about 15 people, looked like a group of crazed zombies and charged into the kobold's shield wall.
"Pfft! Pfft!"
The sounds of spears piercing bodies echoed repeatedly.
But this time, the players did not back down.
"That guy called 'What Can I Do With You'! Awesome!" Gangzi watched as the newcomer was pierced through the stomach by a spear, but instead of retreating, he advanced, gripping the spear shaft tightly, making the spear stuck in his body and unable to be pulled out, and then bit the arm of the kobold opposite him.
"Agh!!!" The kobolds screamed in agony, and their formation instantly crumbled.
"Opportunity! Flanking maneuver! Sprinkle chili powder!"
Husky and his men took the opportunity to sprinkle in the "ghost pepper powder" that Fatty had carefully prepared.
"Sneeze! Sneeze!"
The kobolds' sense of smell was already incredibly sharp, and this was a devastating blow. The shield wall collapsed instantly, and the once-orderly formation was shattered by the reckless charge of these naked men.
Gru swung his axe and felled two humans, but the red light in his eyes was gradually replaced by terror.
It doesn't understand.
Why aren't these humans wearing armor? Why are they laughing even with their intestines spilling out? Why do they shout strange things before they die?
This disregard for death, this madness that regards life as worthless (or even one's own), sent a deep chill down the spine of the old hunter on the wasteland.
"Hold on! The first wave is almost wiped out!"
Canned Food glanced at the time. The first wave of suicide squads had been almost completely wiped out within three minutes, but they had also successfully traded the berserk state of five kobolds and brought the enemy's advance to a standstill.
"Second wave ready! Put on the underwear... I mean, the gear left over from the first wave! Relay!"
"Brothers from the first wave, go offline and have some food! Set your alarms, log back in an hour sharp, and let's continue!"
As the last member of the suicide squad vanished in a flash of white light, only bloodstains remained on the temple square (the system is currently refreshing) and a group of "reserve soldiers" with even more fanatical eyes.
"The second wave pushes up." I said, continuing to command.
Although the kobolds were instinctively hacking around in their berserk state, the enemy's reckless charge still puzzled them, and soon the second wave of suicide squads was also wiped out.
"Stop!" I said, waving to stop the third wave of players from rushing forward.
"We left about twenty people to confront them, roughly the same number. We didn't care about anything else, just kept an eye on them! There were traps we'd set up along this road. If they charged forward, we'd retreat!"
Gru stared at the disappearing points of light, his hand gripping the axe trembling slightly. He hesitated to advance, for who knew how many more people this evil god would summon?
"Chief, they weren't meat, were they? How come there's only blood left after they died?" a kobold said unwillingly.
"Let's stop for a bit and wait an hour to see what kind of evil magic these guys are up to. If something's wrong, we'll run. This is too weird."
It knew that tonight would probably be a sleepless night.
For the players, this was just the beginning of a celebration