The encounter with the White Berets had left the beach of Angel Island in a state of quiet tension. The local law enforcement had fled, leaving behind only the sound of the wind rustling through the cloud-trees.
Nami stood on the white sand, her knuckles white as she gripped her Clima-Tact. She looked at Ben, her eyes pleading.
"Ben," she hissed, her voice trembling. "We can still turn back. I saw the beam. You heard the old knight. This 'God' isn't just a strong pirate. He's a force of nature. We are picking a fight with the sky itself."
Ben looked at her, his expression calm and unyielding. He didn't offer empty platitudes. Instead, he simply pointed a thumb over his shoulder toward the Going Merry.
"Look at him, Nami."
Nami turned.
On the deck of the ship, Luffy was bouncing. He wasn't just bouncing; he was vibrating. He was hanging off the rigging, looking toward the massive green beanstalk in the distance with a grin that threatened to split his face in half.
"UPPER YARD! UPPER YARD! WE'RE GONNA KICK GOD'S BUTT!" Luffy chanted, punching the air.
"Does that look like a man who is going to turn around?" Ben asked softly. "Once he smells adventure—and a fight—he's a runaway train. You can either stand on the tracks and get run over, or you can get on board and help steer."
Nami's shoulders slumped. She let out a long, defeated groan that sounded like a dying balloon. She started trudging toward the gangplank.
"Be careful!" Conis called out from the tree line, clutching her fox, Su. "The Upper Yard is a place of no return! Please... survive!"
"Don't worry, angel-chan!" Sanji pirouetted onto the deck. "I will turn this God into a crème brûlée for you!"
"Set sail," Ben commanded, taking the helm. "Merry to the East. Maximum thrust."
"Aye, Ben."
The Going Merry lifted off the beach, the hum of the engine drowning out Nami's whimpering. The ship cut a path through the Milky Road, heading straight into the heart of the forbidden territory.
---
As the white shoreline of Angel Island faded behind them, the atmosphere on the ship grew heavy. The massive silhouette of the Giant Jack—the beanstalk that pierced the heavens—loomed larger with every passing minute.
Chopper was clinging to the railing, his little hooves shaking. He looked at the beanstalk, then at the dark, foreboding forest at its base.
"God..." Chopper whispered. "We're really going to fight a God. What if he strikes us down?"
He looked up at Zoro. The swordsman was sitting against the main mast, Wado Ichimonji across his lap. He was checking the edge of the blade, his face completely devoid of fear. In fact, he looked bored.
"Zoro," Chopper squeaked. "Aren't you scared?"
Zoro didn't look up. "Of what?"
"Of God!" Chopper asks. "Conis says he's invincible! Shouldn't we... I don't know... pray or something? Maybe if we pray he won't kill us?"
Zoro paused. He slid the white sword back into its sheath with a sharp click. He looked at the reindeer, his single visible eye sharp as steel.
"I don't pray," Zoro said, his voice a low rumble.
"Eh?"
"I don't beg for miracles from some guy in the sky," Zoro continued, leaning his head back against the wood. "I believe in death. It's the only certainty. When my time comes, I'll be ready to embrace it. I'll greet the Reaper with a smile."
Zoro grinned, a feral, predatory expression. "But that day is not today. And no self-proclaimed deity is going to decide when I die. Only I decide that."
Chopper stared at him. The wind blew through Zoro's green hair. To the little reindeer, Zoro didn't look like a pirate. He looked like a demon who had crawled out of hell just to challenge heaven.
"SUGEEEEEE!" Chopper yelled, stars shooting out of his eyes. "Zoro! You're so cool! You're so hardcore! 'I believe in death!' I want to write that down!"
"He's just an emo marimo," Sanji muttered from the galley, though he smirked as he lit a cigarette.
---
Thirty minutes later, the scenery changed drastically.
The pristine white clouds gave way to a dark, dense waterway. Trees—massive, ancient trees that looked like they belonged in a prehistoric era—rose from the water. And the smell... it was the smell of damp earth, rotting leaves, and history.
"We're here," Ben announced, cutting the engines. "Upper Yard."
The Merry drifted to a halt next to a massive root that curled out of the water like a sleeping dragon. Ben engaged the landing struts, locking the ship in place.
"Alright," Ben clapped his hands, gathering the crew on the central deck. "Listen closely. This is enemy territory. Enel knows we are here. He can hear us. He's listening right now."
Luffy looked around at the empty forest. "So where is he? Why isn't he attacking?"
"Because he's arrogant," Ben said, pulling a pouch of grey fluid from his belt. "He thinks we are insects. He won't bother coming down here personally unless we give him a reason."
"A reason?" Usopp gulped.
"We need to lure him out," Ben said, a wicked glint in his eyes. "I want you to insult him."
"Insult... God?" Chopper whispered.
Ben explained. "Attack his title. Call him names. The nastier, the better. I want you to make him so angry he can't see straight."
Ben pointed to the "Loud Squad"—Luffy, Sanji, Usopp, Masira, and Shoujou.
"You guys have the biggest mouths. Start talking."
"Wait, wait!" Usopp waved his hands frantically. "If we badmouth him, won't he strike us down instantly?!"
"That's the plan," Ben smiled. "Trust me."
"I don't want to die!" Usopp cried.
"I'll do it!" Luffy grinned. He ran to the bow of the ship, cupped his hands around his mouth, and took a deep breath.
"HEY! GOD!" Luffy screamed at the top of his lungs. "ARE YOU THERE? YOU STUPID IDIOT!"
Silence. The forest echoed with "Stupid idiot..."
"Is that it?" Ben asked dryly. "Luffy, you have the vocabulary of a toddler. Sanji, Masira, step it up. Get dirty."
Sanji stepped forward, adjusting his tie. He looked at the sky with disdain.
"Hey, you invisible peeping tom!" Sanji shouted. "I know you're listening! You sit up there watching everyone because you're a pervert, aren't you?! You have no game! You probably have to force people to worship you because no woman would ever look at you voluntarily, you virgin freak!"
"YEAH!" Masira roared, beating his chest. "COME DOWN HERE YOU COWARD! I BET YOU SMELL WORSE THAN A ROTTING BANANA!"
"YOU PROBABLY EAT YOUR OWN BOOGERS!" Luffy added helpfully.
"SHOUJOU SONAR!" Shoujou screamed. "I BET YOU'RE BALD! AND UGLY! AND YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK!"
"Keep going," Ben encouraged.
"HEY ENEL!" Luffy yelled. "YOU AREN'T A GOD! YOU'RE JUST A SCAREDY-CAT HIDING IN THE CLOUDS! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE!"
"YOU BASTARD!" Sanji lit up, getting into it. "You spineless, gutless, voyeuristic piece of trash! Come down here so I can kick your teeth in!"
The insults were flying now. But Enel still hadn't shown.
"Usopp," Ben turned to the sniper. "Your turn."
"No, no, no!" Usopp shook his head. "I'm good! I'm strictly an observer!"
"Do it," Ben ordered, his voice dropping an octave. "Or I'll tell everyone about the time you practiced kissing with a pillow, thinking of Kaya."
Usopp froze. His eyes bulged.
"How... how do you know that?!"
"Insult the God, Usopp. Now."
Usopp trembled. He looked at the sky. He looked at Ben. He realized he was trapped. Desperation turned into adrenaline.
Usopp walked to the front. He put one foot on the railing. And then, something snapped in his brain.
"ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP YOU OVERGROWN FLUORESCENT LIGHTBULB!" Usopp screeched.
The crew paused. Usopp was going in.
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! GOD?! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH! I AM CAPTAIN USOPP, AND I HAVE 8,000 MEN WAITING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"
Usopp took a breath and pointed a shaking finger at the heavens.
"I BET YOU HIDE UP THERE BECAUSE YOU'RE A FREAK OF NATURE! YEAH, I SAID IT! YOU'RE PROBABLY SOME DEFORMED, INBRED SKY-RAT WITH NO FRIENDS!"
"Oh, he's getting into it," Zoro smirked.
"AND ANOTHER THING!" Usopp screamed, his face turning red. "STOP LISTENING TO US, YOU CREEP! WHAT KIND OF LOSER SITS AROUND EAVESDROPPING ON TOURISTS?! DO YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO?! GET A LIFE, YOU SHIT-FOR-BRAINS, PERVERT!"
Usopp was panting. He felt good. He felt brave.
"AND I BET YOUR MOTHER WAS A DUMPSTER FIRE AND YOUR FATHER WAS A BROKEN TOASTER! YOU PISS-ANT! YOU COWARD! COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN, YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF STATIC!"
Usopp finished, throwing his hands up in the air. "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!"
---
High above, in the Sanctuary of God.
Enel sat on his golden throne, his face a mask of absolute, frozen rage. He had been tolerating the "Stupid" comments. He had ignored the "Pervert" comments.
But "Deformed Inbred Sky-Rat"? "Shit-for-brains"? "Small Dick"?
Enel's hand gripped the armrest of his throne. The gold metal began to melt under his fingers. Sparks of blue electricity danced wildly around his body.
"He called me..." Enel's voice was a low hiss, like a leaking steam pipe. "...Inbred Sky rat."
Enel stood up. The air pressure in the room dropped instantly.
"He dares? HE DARES?!"
Enel raised his hand. He didn't just want to kill them. He wanted to obliterate them. He wanted to erase the very concept of them from history.
"I will vaporize that long-nosed insect first."
Enel pointed his finger down.
"EL THOR."
---
Back on the Merry, the atmosphere shifted instantly.
It wasn't a sound. It was a feeling. The static in the air became so intense that Nami's hair stood straight up. The taste of ozone filled their mouths, sharp and metallic like sucking on a penny.
"Oh no," Usopp whispered, his bravery evaporating instantly. "I went too far. I went way too far. HE HEARD MY COMMENTS!"
"Here it comes," Ben said sharply.
He didn't panic. He snapped the pouch on his belt open. The grey fluid inside surged out.
"Everyone! To the mast! NOW!"
The crew scrambled. They huddled together in the center of the deck.
Ben raised both hands, his eyes glowing with a regal purple light.
[Ruler's Authority]
The grey fluid exploded upward. It didn't just cover them; it formed a rapidly spinning, viscous dome. This was a non-Newtonian, hyper-insulating polymer Ben had synthesized specifically for this fight.
"HOLD ON!"
KRAKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The sky tore open.
A pillar of blue-white lightning, thick enough to swallow a house, slammed into the Going Merry.
The sound was beyond deafening. It was a physical blow. The world outside the grey dome turned pure white. The heat was instantaneous—the water around the ship flashed into steam, and the trees on the bank burst into flames.
Inside the dome, the air crackled, but the lightning did not penetrate. The current flowed over the grey sludge, searching for a path to the ground, and was diverted harmlessly into the water below.
For ten terrifying seconds, the wrath of God poured down upon them.
Then, it stopped.
Smoke billowed from the scorched Vearth. The Merry was rocking violently, the wood groaning, but thanks to the targeted nature of the attack and the shield, the ship was intact.
Ben exhaled, wiping sweat from his brow. He lowered his hands, and the grey fluid retreated back into his pouch.
"Is... is everyone alive?" Nami squeaked, checking her limbs.
"I'm okay!" Luffy laughed, patting his body. "That tickled!"
"Tickled?!" Usopp cried, checking his pulse. "I saw my ancestors! I saw the river Styx!"
"We survived," Robin noted, looking at the devastation around them. "Ben, that barrier... remarkable."
"It's just science," Ben smirked. "Now, don't stop."
"WHAT?!" Usopp screamed. "WE JUST SURVIVED A NUKE AND YOU WANT US TO TALK MORE TRASH?!"
"He missed," Ben said loudly, looking at the sky. "He thinks he hit us. But his Mantra is telling him we are still here. He's confused. Confusion leads to anger. Anger makes him sloppy."
Ben looked at Luffy. "Laugh at him, Captain."
Luffy grinned. He understood the assignment.
"SHISHISHISHI!" Luffy laughed, his voice echoing through the silent forest. "HEY GOD! YOU MISSED! YOUR AIM SUCKS! MY GRANDPA HITS HARDER THAN THAT!"(He actually does)
"ARE YOU BLIND?!" Sanji yelled. "YOU CAN'T EVEN HIT A SHIP SITTING STILL? YOU PATHETIC LOSER!"
"YOU CALL THAT LIGHTNING?!" Zoro shouted, joining in. "THAT WAS BARELY A SPARK!"
"COME DOWN HERE, YOU INCOMPETENT CLOWN!" Usopp screamed, hiding behind Brogy's leg but shouting loud enough to wake the dead. "YOU FAILED! YOU'RE A FAILURE OF A GOD!"
---
Enel stared at the floor of his shrine.
"Alive?" Enel whispered. "They are... alive?"
His Mantra felt them. Their voices were loud. They were mocking him. They were laughing at his judgment.
"Incompetent..." Enel's eye twitched. "Clown..."
Enel didn't walk. He didn't run. He simply dissolved.
"I will handle this trash personally."
ZAP.
Back at the Merry, the air suddenly went cold.
"He's coming," Luffy said, his smile vanishing. His eyes sharpened. "Fast."
"Faster than sound," Sanji muttered, his leg flaming up.
"Everyone, brace yourselves," Ben said, stepping back to let the heavy hitters take the front.
There was no sound of approach. No wind.
One millisecond, the space above the railing was empty.
The next millisecond, a man was standing there.
He was floating a few inches off the railing, looking down at them with eyes that held the cold indifference of a storm.
Now, the crew saw him.
He was tall, shirtless, and muscular. He wore baggy pants with a strange pattern. On his back was a ring of four tomoe drums. But the most striking feature... were his earlobes. They were stretched so long they reached his chest.
"Yahoo," Enel said. His voice wasn't loud, but it carried a terrifying weight. "You rats are certainly noisy."
The crew froze. The pressure coming off him was immense. It was the presence of a predator who had never known fear.
Enel took a bite of an apple he was holding. Crunch.
He chewed slowly, looking at each of them.
"So," Enel swallowed. "Which one of you called me a 'Inbred Sky Rat'?"
Usopp stopped breathing. His soul left his body for a brief second.
Enel's eyes scanned the crew. He looked at Luffy. He looked at Zoro. He looked at Sanji.
"You speak of God as if I am a peer," Enel said, tossing the apple core into the water. "Disrespect to the divine carries a heavy price. The price is death. No trial. No jury."
"Death?" Luffy stepped forward. He tilted his straw hat back. "I've been waiting for you, Ear-Lobe Guy."
Enel looked at Luffy. "Waiting? To beg?"
"To kick your ass," Luffy grinned.
Enel stared at Luffy for a moment. Then he chuckled. A low, mocking sound.
"Brave. Stupid. But brave."
Enel pointed a finger at the crew. Electricity crackled around his hand.
"I will kill all of you. But..."
Enel's eyes locked onto Brogy's leg. Specifically, the trembling long nose poking out from behind it.
"You," Enel said softly.
Usopp flinched. "M-m-me?"
"Yes. The one with the nose," Enel smiled, a cruel, sadistic smile. "You were the loudest. 'Inbred Sky-Rat', was it? 'Sack of Static'?"
Enel floated closer.
"I'm going to start with you. I'm going to turn you into ash, slowly."
"EEEEEEEEEEK!" Usopp shrieked. He scrambled backward, grabbing Luffy's vest.
"LUFFY! HELP ME!" Usopp cried, tears streaming down his face like waterfalls. "HE REMEMBERED! HE HAS A GOOD MEMORY! BEAT HIM! KICK HIS ASS!"
"You want your captain to die first?" Enel raised an eyebrow.
"NO! I WANT YOU TO DIE!" Usopp yelled, hiding completely behind Luffy now. "GET HIM, LUFFY! BEAT THE ELECTRIC PERVERT!"
Luffy chuckled. He stepped in front of Usopp, shielding his sniper. He cracked his knuckles, the sound loud in the quiet forest.
"Don't worry, Usopp," Luffy said, staring straight into Enel's eyes. "He's not touching you."
Enel looked at the rubber boy. He sensed no fear. It annoyed him.
"You think you can stop God?" Enel asked, his body beginning to glow blue.
"I don't care if you're God," Luffy dropped into a combat stance.
Ben leaned against the mast, crossing his arms. He watched the scene unfold.
"Here we go," Ben whispered. "Physics vs. Ego."