—Seriously, how the hell did this happen?
"Hii… hii… W-what's with that girl? She's way too persistent… Why does this happen to me—?!"
Under a perfectly cloudless blue sky, with a refreshing breeze brushing my cheeks, I sprinted full-tilt down the well-paved road without stopping for even a second.
"…I think I probably lost her. That was close—"
"—Lord Jirei Laro! …Huh? He's not here. I thought I heard his voice… Where did that man go?!"
Completely exhausted, I ducked into an empty café to catch my breath… only to hear the door slam open with that scream.
I instantly stuck myself to the ceiling and hid. That was *way* too close.
"Without a doubt, he's the one who resolved that incident… If I can bring him in, it'll be a huge advantage in the succession struggle…! I absolutely will *not* give up on my reclusive life…!"
Muttering something like that, the person—the sixth princess of Magikosmaia, Elena Timid Noblest—stormed back out of the shop.
Just to be safe, I stayed glued to the ceiling for a few more minutes.
Once I could no longer sense her presence, I dropped down, left the shop without ordering anything (the clerk gave me a very confused look), and was about to start running again when a posted notice on a nearby wall caught my eye.
I immediately ripped it down, crumpled it, and tossed it into an **Item Box**.
The notice said something like:
*"The recent series of 'demon incidents' in which children's hearts were extracted has been resolved by an unidentified red-haired individual. The king offers a generous reward to anyone who brings this person to the palace."*
Apparently the king himself took a strong liking to this mysterious red-haired savior and desperately wants to meet him.
Nooo, please stop.
That's exactly why Elena (who's convinced the red-haired person is me) is now hunting me down.
…Well, it actually *is* me, so she's not wrong.
How did they even know the incidents were solved?
Because the boys whose hearts were stolen were all brought back to life—perfectly healthy, limbs intact, everything.
Yes, I was the one who resurrected them.
Their souls were still lingering in this world with less than ten days left, so I revived them all at once.
At first, the parents thought their revived sons were undead or demons… but after proper examination confirmed they were breathing normally and not possessed, the whole town started calling it "the miracle of Hero Rei."
The rumors are still going wild. It's so loud.
And the reason everyone's calling it "Hero Rei's miracle" is because the revived boys, the dead Magic Academy students, and the guards all unanimously said:
"We were saved by a red-haired person."
…I only realized much later that my modified **Resurrection** (blended with **Hypnosis** to erase memories) had failed.
I managed to alter the memories of their *bodies*, but not the memories of their *souls*.
As a result, only vague soul-memories remained… and worst of all, my appearance stayed perfectly clear in their minds.
Because of that, word spread that a "red-haired person" had "saved them," and since it matched the red-haired Hero Rei, the whole city started buzzing about "Hero Rei's second coming" or whatever.
The king apparently got super attached to this mysterious red-haired benefactor who vanished without a word, and is now throwing every resource he has into finding him.
I'm literally going to go bald from stress.
"Ever since then, Ludas and the others have been tailing me like crazy… what is happening…?"
Even if they're looking for someone with red hair, that doesn't automatically mean it's me.
There were tons of people wearing red wigs during the Hero's Birthday Festival, so identifying me specifically should be nearly impossible.
Plus I've already deactivated the Protean Ring, so my hair is back to black.
And yet—despite all that—Ludas and the other students have started stalking me even more aggressively than before, and Elena has decided I'm her guy and is now chasing me around demanding marriage.
Someone please save me.
"Seriously, what is going on?! 'That girl' isn't giving up at all, and now there are even *more* people chasing me… I don't understand anymore…"
What I really don't get is that it's not just Elena and the others.
There are way more people after me now, and I have no idea why.
"—Alright. Time to flee the country. I already contacted Char and told her my situation changed and I'm leaving, so that's fine. I even embezzled—er, borrowed—some funds from Aldi (as instructor salary). Should be good for a while."
Seriously, my luck has been *atrocious* lately.
I keep getting dragged into one mess after another, I can't slack off at all, and my entire life plan is collapsing. How did it come to this?
…Come to think of it, everything started going wrong the moment that *idiot hero* showed up and passionately recruited me into the hero's party.
I will never forgive **Reti**.
"…Hm? What's that—!?"
While wondering if I'd been cursed with permanent bad luck, I headed toward the checkpoint to escape the country… when I spotted something lying on the roadside.
"No way… a magical tool? And it's the exact one I wanted… Why is it just sitting here…?"
I immediately dashed over—the magical tool—checked left and right to make sure no one was watching, then picked it up.
Jackpot! I got the magical tool!
"This was just lying here, so it wouldn't have been weird if someone else took it… If a bad person found it, they'd probably pawn it for cash… In that case, isn't it better for the world if *I*, a person who truly loves and understands magical tools, take custody of it?"
I muttered to myself, desperately justifying it.
Yes, exactly. When the owner eventually shows up, I'll just return it. Until then, it's clearly safer in the hands of an expert like me.
That's definitely the right thing to do.
Having reached that perfectly reasonable conclusion, I tossed it into my **Item Box**.
Sometimes good things really do happen.
After all this rotten luck, maybe the universe is finally paying me back a little.
Maybe my daily virtuous behavior has—
"—Whoa?!"
Just as I was basking in my small victory… something slammed hard into my back.
"Wh—what the—?!"
I whipped around to see what hit me.
"—Rei, I got you. Knew you'd fall for it."
A girl with clear, pale-blue hair was clinging tightly to my back, refusing to let go—Eve Durkis.
"How did you even know I was here—?! Hey! Stop burying your face in my back!"
She hugged me even tighter and started rubbing her face against me like a cat.
I desperately tried to pry her off, but she was glued on. Someone help.
"…Rei always runs away. So I thought ahead."
"Even if you 'thought ahead'—what does that even mean?! Just let go already!"
Despite my protests, Eve showed zero intention of moving and just kept murmuring happily.
Damn it—I was so distracted by the magical tool that I didn't notice her at all.
There was no killing intent or hostility, so my detection didn't pick her up. Damn it.
"It would be difficult to catch Rei by myself, so I decided to get help. Fortunately, our interests aligned perfectly with a certain 'hero'—**Reti**."
The moment Eve called out—
"—Gotcha! Long time no see, Shisho! (Shisho means master.) Let's join the party!!"
A girl with silky pink hair and clear pale-garnet eyes— Retinoa Innocent—appeared cheerfully, already holding out the hero party recruitment form.
No way. Why are *you* here?!
"W-why are you in Granhero—no, wait a second—"
It hit me.
Maybe this was actually my chance to escape?
If I could just convince Reti to stop Eve… Okay, plan set. Reti's an idiot—this should work. Probably.
"Reti! Listen—the truth is, Eve is currently being controlled by mind-control magic!! We have to stop her quickly…! Damn… I never wanted to see Eve like this either! You're the only one who can save her…!!"
I shouted in the most convincing, desperate tone I could manage.
"Ohhh! Is that so?! Got it! I'll stop her right now!"
Exactly as planned—she's so gullible! Perfect. Time to bolt—
"—Reti, don't be fooled. I already warned you that Rei would probably say something like that. It's a lie."
The instant Eve said it, Reti froze mid-motion. "Huh? Wait—that's right! I'm being tricked!" and stopped trying to restrain Eve.
"…Reti and I have completely aligned goals. Reti wants Rei to join the party. I want to be with Rei. In other words—if we cooperate, it's perfect. Rei will be happy being surrounded by cute girls. Win-win."
"What kind of win-win is that?!"
I'm already dying from the stress of having the hyperactive Reti on one side and the endlessly affectionate Eve on the other. Are they trying to actually kill me?
"Besides… if I'm with Rei, I'm sure we can defeat the Demon King. Then—after that, we can all live peacefully and relax together in a world without war. It'll definitely be fun."
"That's right, Shisho! Let's join the party and beat the Demon King together! It'll be so much fun!"
"NO! Absolutely NOT!!"
Eve was still latched onto my back like a koala, Reti was shoving the application form in my face yelling "Sign it! Sign it!!"
I tried to run, but Eve had me in a death grip and Reti was dragging my arm toward the signing table. I couldn't break free.
…Well, technically I *could* escape if I used heavy **Body Strengthening** and forcibly ripped them off—but I'd definitely injure them. Damn it… at this point I have no choice but to use *that*—
"—You two, get away from him! Right now!"
"—!? W-what the—my body is moving on its own…?" Eve exclaimed backing up.
"??? What's happening?!" Reti said, confused.
Just as I was about to give in and use *that* escape method, a beautiful girl's voice rang out—
and for some reason, both Reti and Eve immediately released me.
"—! Thank god!!"
I have no idea who that was, but help has arrived! God hasn't abandoned me after all! Yes!!
"That was close… I know an inn where we can hide. Follow me—it's this way!" the lady was calling me from the shadows.
"Got it!"
I followed the black-haired girl who had just saved me and quickly escaped the area.
I don't know who she is, but she's a lifesaver. I'm exhausted from all the running—I'll rest at the inn.
"—Here we are. I've already reserved a room, so come this way…"
"You've saved me… You're basically a goddess…"
After a bit more running, we arrived at an inn on the outskirts of town.
She led me into a room that seemed to have been prepared in advance.
"This room is protected by soundproofing, jamming, and concealment magic. Unless something truly extraordinary happens, no one will find us from outside. The location is also out of the way… so please relax."
"Really…? Finally, I can breathe…"
…Yeah, it really is in a quiet, unpopular area—perfect for hiding.
The anti-detection enchantments should buy me plenty of time. No one will hear if I scream or make noise, so I can finally rest in peace—
"Hmm… something feels off… Wait—by the way, who are you—"
I sat down on the large double bed, suddenly realizing I didn't even know her name, and turned to ask.
But—
"—Finally… finally we can be alone…"
The instant I spoke, the black-haired girl collapsed onto me, pushing me down onto the bed.
Huh? Huh?! What is this?! What is happening?!
"It's all Jirei-sama's fault… I waited and waited, but no matter how much time passed, you never came to pick me up… I know you're shy, but—"
The black-haired girl straddled me, slightly parting the white clothes she wore to reveal skin.
Then she grabbed a handful of her own black hair—
"—Ah… aaahhh…" She undid her transformation, showing me who she really was.
I was so shocked and terrified I couldn't even form words. My body was trembling uncontrollably. What is this? What is this? What is this?!
"Ah… Jirei-sama's scent… I've wanted to do this for so long…"
The girl—Rafine Odium Refinad—who had removed her transformation to reveal her true white hair, murmured as she pinned both my wrists down, buried her face in my chest, and began breathing heavily. My own breathing turned ragged from sheer fear and confusion.
"Jirei-sama… I was thinking. Since you're so shy and always run away… what can I do to make you finally be honest with me?"
"Someone—help—help—!!"
I tried to move my arms to escape, but her grip was inhumanly strong. I couldn't budge. Is she a gorilla?!
Ignoring my pleas, Rafine held my wrists firmly and skillfully opened my clothes even further.
"I would've preferred something a little more romantic and atmospheric, but… it can't be helped. Besides… we have to make lots of heirs, so whether it's my first time or not is a trivial detail."
"Wh—what are you—"
"I'm sure Father will be happy. He might be surprised at first, but… it's his grandchild and Jirei-sama's child. I'm sure he'll find him adorable and forgive us. …Now then, Jirei-sama—"
Rafine straddled me, staring down with moist, feverish eyes, breathing hard.
"—Shall we create a fait accompli?"
She said.
"......Huh?"
My brain short-circuited. I couldn't parse what she was saying. Seriously.
"W-wait wait wait wait—hold on! How did it come to this?!"
"Eh? Why…? I just thought if we did this, Jirei-sama might finally be honest with me—"
"That's not how it works! That's insane!"
How does anyone's brain arrive at that conclusion?!
"Well… Jirei-sama is shy… so it's okay. I understand."
"I don't understand a single thing!"
This girl has literal hearts in her eyes. She is *dangerous*. I need to escape.
"Ugh… ugh, damn it… I can't move…!?"
I struggled desperately, but my arms were pinned and my legs were trapped under her body weight. Why is she so strong?! Someone help!!
"It's okay. Just count the stains on the ceiling, Jirei-sama. It'll be over quickly… It might hurt the first time, so I'm a little scared, but I'll do my best…!"
"Stop! Someone—anyone—HELP!! I'M BEING ATTACKED!!"
I shouted at the top of my lungs, but thanks to the soundproofing magic, no one came…
Raffine's face slowly drew closer. This is bad. This is really bad. What do I do?!
I activated **High-Speed Thinking** and ran through every possible escape method in seconds.
I arrived at one conclusion: use *that*.
"—Spa—!!"
The moment I shouted, a pale-blue magic circle bloomed instantly beneath me—
**Teleport**
—and I vanished from the spot.
"Ubuuuuuuh… so gross… I'm gonna die…"
The side effects of **Spatial Teleport** hit me immediately at the new location. I dropped to my hands and knees, feeling like I was about to puke my soul out.
I'm seriously going to die.
"Haa… haa… Okay… calmed down… Gotta run again—"
"—Huh? Master…? Why are you here…? Could it be… you were watching my mock battle?!"
Just as I stood up to flee again, a boy's voice rang out.
"I can't believe Master watched my mock battle… What an honor…!"
"Huh…?"
A blond boy in rugged armor, simple long sword at his waist—Cain Stolz—looked at me with sparkling, impressed eyes.
I had no idea why Cain was here or what "mock battle" he was talking about.
"Master! How was my swordsmanship?! I've been training every single day since then so I can become a man worthy of standing by your side, but I still have a long way to go… If you wouldn't mind, I'd love some guidance—"
"Wait—hold on—I don't understand anything—"
I looked around, trying to grasp the situation.
What I saw was a circular arena where adventurers were sparring with swords and magic.
From the look of it… this was clearly the mock battle training ground provided by the Adventurer's Guild.
"—Cain, mock battle's over… Oh? Who's that?"
While I was processing, a brown-haired adventurer boy walked over and spoke to Cain.
"Alto… yeah, it's done. This person is my master—the one who will definitely become an SSS-rank adventurer someday."
"Ohhh! So it's *him*! The legendary master Cain always talks about! He must be insanely strong… no wonder you're aiming to become guild master!"
The guy—Alto—greeted me energetically: "I'm Alto! Nice to meet you!" forced a handshake on me, and kept going: "So you're a D-rank too! Let's do our best!"
He was way too hot-blooded.
…No, hold on—back up. Did I just hear something insane?
Something about becoming an SSS-rank adventurer—
"W-wait… that thing about SSS-rank just now—"
I asked, hoping it was a joke.
"Yes! I will absolutely make Master an SSS-rank adventurer! After all, to become your companion and fight by your side—it's only natural!"
"I don't understand a single word of that."
This is so incomprehensible my brain is literally overheating. Headache.
Why does this guy have feelings for me? Am I unconsciously casting brainwashing magic on everyone around me?!
For the past few minutes, my mind has been bombarded with developments too bizarre to process. It's on the verge of a complete crash.
I clutched my head in despair.
"—!?"
I sensed something sharp flying toward me at high speed.
I instantly predicted the trajectory and snatched it out of the air with my hand.
It was a simple dagger with a red blade.
"Master?! Are you okay?!"
I held up a hand to stop the panicking Cain and scanned the surroundings warily.
…Nothing obviously suspicious.
"I know you're there. Come out."
I called into empty space.
**Magic Detection** had picked up a very faint, tiny reaction.
The presence was hidden so well that most people wouldn't notice—but it was definitely there.
"This is your only warning. Come out now—"
"—Well… this level really isn't enough after all. I need to get stronger…"
After that murmur, a figure with flame-red hair tied in twin tails and the distinctive long ears of an elf appeared from thin air.
"…Why did you attack me? Also—weren't you the one who attacked Rafine the other day?"
I glared at the girl—Lina Antetman—and demanded answers.
"You are… strong. So strong. Stronger than anyone. So strong that no matter how much I try to break you…"
"…?"
Lina looked down and began muttering like that.
What is with this sudden monologue? It's creepy.
"I've never met anyone like you before. I can pour everything into you. You'll understand me… Finally… finally I've found you… So—"
Lina raised her face, hugged herself, and looked at me with an ecstatic, dreamy expression as she declared:
"I will kill you."
Then she vanished in an instant.
Her presence completely disappeared too.
…As expected from an assassin.
"Master? Did you… make someone hold a grudge against you or something…?"
Cain asked with a worried, confused face.
"…"
I gave Cain a hollow, nihilistic laugh, then—without saying a word—sprinted full speed toward the exit.
"Hiiiiii… Why is this happening to me… What the hell did I even do…!"
After sprinting flat-out, I slammed my hands against a wall, gasping for air and cursing.
I genuinely don't understand what's going on anymore.
"I… I think I finally lost them. Let's take a break… I'm gonna die…"
I collapsed in the shade of a tree, let my whole body go limp, and just breathed.
"Phew… Okay. One more push and I'm out. Time to flee the country and—"
After catching my breath, I put strength back into my legs and was about to start running again when I spotted a familiar boy standing alone.
I froze.
The boy was watching other kids play ball in the park.
He kept opening his mouth as if to speak to them, then swallowing his words at the last second.
Then, as if giving up, he lowered his head and started walking away… in the opposite direction from the kids.
…What is he doing?
I went through the trouble of using quick hypnosis to erase both the victim's and his memories…
The kids playing are completely different people. If he wants to join in, he should just go over there…
"—Hey."
"Huh?! What?!"
Seeing that, I got irritated and couldn't hold back anymore. I called out.
The boy flinched and replied in a timid, unsure voice.
"I don't really like sweet things."
"…?"
The boy looked confused by the sudden statement.
"So I'm giving this to you."
I pulled out a large box of high-class sweets that Charlotte had given me from my Item Box and shoved it into his hands.
"Eh… isn't this from that super famous shop?"
"…Even if I keep it, I won't eat it all. So take it."
I feel a little bad for Char who gave them to me.
I don't actually like sweets that much.
Honestly, giving away a gift like this feels kinda rude… but Char said it was fine to pass them on to someone else, so it should be okay.
"Eh—but—"
The boy seemed hesitant about suddenly being spoken to and handed expensive sweets. He tried to push them back.
"…It's fine. I said I'm giving it to you, so just take it. Besides… it's the perfect time for sweets. Just eat them."
"I can't eat this much… but… Ah—then, just this much—"
Even though he could've just accepted it quietly, the boy only took a small portion and politely tried to give the rest back.
…Do you not get it?
"…I see. Well then… why don't you eat with those kids over there? Kids love sweets. Maybe you'll make some friends."
"Eh—"
The boy followed my gaze toward the children playing.
"…Anyway, I'm in a hurry, so I'm leaving. Eat them yourself or throw them away. Up to you."
With that, I walked away without looking back.
…What he did can never be forgiven.
It was something that should have been punished properly by law.
Something that should never have happened.
Even though I revived the victim and pretended it never occurred, the fact remains—he did it.
He should pay for his crime.
So… this is just my own selfish self-satisfaction. My ego.
"Uncle, thank you—!"
"Not uncle—big brother, you little brat!"
Without turning around, I shouted back at the cheeky voice behind me.
…Okay. Now I feel a little better.
All that's left is to flee the country, go into hiding, and never be found—
"Ahh! I found you! Eve! Over here! Over here!!"
"Ugh—!"
Just as I was thinking such carefree thoughts, Reti appeared out of nowhere, spotted me, and I panicked and ran again.
Worst timing. Absolutely the worst.
"—Jirei! You were in a place like this! I searched so hard… Please, the students would love it too, so become a teacher at my school!" Aldi's voice boomed.
"—Shisho! Just sign it for now!! Sign it!!!" Reti said,
"—Rei, don't run away. I won't let you regret it… It'll definitely be fun." Eve' voice.
"—Jirei-sama! You're worried about persuading Father, right?! But I already got his approval! For some reason he said 'minced meat'… but he's probably talking about the wedding menu. So it's fine! You can marry me without worry!" Rafine...
"—Master? Why are you running… Ah! I get it—this is also part of your training! In that case, let me join you!" Cain said soundly.
"—Lord Jirei Laro! I've finally found you…! Don't run—at least listen to me! Just for a moment, just a moment!" Elena....
I ran desperately at full speed, but no matter where I fled, Aldi, Reti, Eve, Rafine, Cain, and Elena appeared one after another, chasing after me.
What is this hell?!
…No, this is weird. Seriously weird. What is going on? Why am I being chased around like this?!
In the first place—I'm supposed to be a D-class adventurer.
I became one specifically to avoid trouble and live a carefree, lazy life.
And yet… for some reason I keep getting mistaken for other people, loved by them everywhere, recruited by an idiot hero and a silent white mage into a hero's party, and now I'm being stalked by princesses from Uniwelcia and Magikosmaia and forced to run for my life.
This world is insane.
"—Jirei!"
"—Shisho!"
"—Rei!"
"—Jirei-sama!"
"—Master!"
"—Lord Jirei Laro!"
With the warm wind slapping my cheeks, I kept pumping my legs desperately, refusing to let the voices behind me catch up.
—Seriously… how the hell did this happen?
In this incomprehensible situation, I cursed every god I could think of (even though I don't believe in any of them) with the foulest language possible.
It was a perfectly clear day, not a single cloud in the sky.
The endless blue expanse and blazing sunlight were incredibly irritating right now.
It felt like the heavens themselves were mocking me.
I screamed at that mocking blue sky as loudly as my lungs would allow.
"I JUST WANT TO LIVE A LAZY LIFE!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!"