Late autumn of the second year of Jinghe, the chill of frost grew heavier. Due to sudden military developments in the northern frontier, Gu Lian and Ai Miao had spent three consecutive nights handling affairs. Tonight, with everything finally settled, the two embraced and fell asleep, utterly exhausted.
At the third watch of the night, all was silent.
Gu Lian tossed restlessly in his sleep, a fine sheen of cold sweat beading on his forehead. Perhaps it was the relentless strain of recent days that had drained both his body and spirit, or perhaps it was the lingering unease buried deep in his subconscious. This overwhelming fatigue had stripped him of all the confidence he held as both emperor and lover. A primal fear—the terror of no longer being needed—took root in his very bones, manifesting in his dreams as Ai Miao's cold, weary back.
He dreamed of standing alone in the vast, empty Golden Throne Hall, clad in the heavy imperial robes, yet unable to find the crimson-purple figure that always stood by his side.
"Ai Miao?" he called out, his voice echoing through the hall, met with silence.
An inexplicable panic seized his heart. He stumbled out of the hall, racing through familiar palace corridors until he reached Aimiao's Wen'an Duke's residence. The gates stood wide open, yet inside lay a deathly silence. Servants, guards—even the person he longed for—had vanished without a trace.
"Ai Miao—!" he roared, bursting into the study.
The room was not empty. Ai Miao stood by the window, back to him, still clad in his elegant everyday robes, his posture as straight as bamboo.
Gu Lian's heart leapt with joy. He started to approach, but Ai Miao slowly turned around.
Those eyes, usually as still as ancient wells or deep pools, held none of the usual warmth and indulgence when looking at him. Only utter, icy strangeness remained. No, worse than looking at a stranger—they carried a kind of... weariness born of complete understanding.
"Your Highness," Ai Miao spoke, his voice calm and unruffled, as if stating a fact unrelated to himself. "No, Your Majesty. "
"Ai Miao, what's wrong? Where are we? Let's return to the palace..." Gu Lian rushed forward urgently, reaching out to grasp his hand.
Ai Miao took a step back, precisely evading his touch.
"Your Majesty," he spoke again, his tone so distant it sent a chill through Gu Lian's body, "I... must leave."
"Leave? Where are you going?" Gu Lian's voice trembled, a quiver he hadn't even noticed himself. "The northern frontier? Or... I'll go with you!"
Ai Miao shook his head gently, a faint, almost pitying curve touching his lips. "Your Majesty, don't you understand? No place needs you. It is I who no longer want you."
I no longer... want you.
Those words pierced Gu Lian's heart like poisoned ice spikes, instantly freezing the blood in his veins.
"Why?" He nearly stumbled, his voice shattering. "Is it because I've failed you? Because of the court ministers' criticism? Or because of Father and Mother..."
"None of those. " Ai Miao cut him off, her gaze sweeping past him toward the empty distance, as if observing a toy she had long since lost interest in. "I simply... find it tedious now."
She raised her hand lightly, brushing imaginary dust from her sleeve—a gesture elegant yet cruel.
"Assisting Your Majesty, governing this realm—at first, I saw it as a challenge, a lifelong aspiration. Now it seems... nothing special. Endless memorials day after day, interminable court deliberations, and Your Majesty's... exhausting devotion."
He lifted his eyes to meet Gu Lian's gaze once more. Those eyes that had once held him captive, eyes that could always glimpse the deepest secrets of his heart, now held only cold, clinical analysis.
"Your Majesty, you hold no challenge for me now, nor any surprise. This game of sovereign and subject... I have grown weary of it."
With that, he turned away without glancing at Gu Lian's face, which had instantly drained of color. He strode toward the door without a backward glance, his figure merging into the thick fog until he vanished.
"No—! Ai Miao! Come back!"
"Don't go! I beg you... ...don't abandon me..."
Deep into the night, Gu Lian jolted awake from that nightmare of abandonment, drenched in cold sweat, his heart pounding.
His hand instinctively reached beside him—
Empty. The bedding lay icy cold.
The dream's utter negation of his worth and the terror of being cast aside instantly seized his throat.
Just then, he heard extremely suppressed, low-pitched gasps coming from the adjoining ablution chamber. As if bewitched, he slipped barefoot from his bed and moved silently to the door.
Through the slightly ajar crack, he saw Ai Miao facing away from him, leaning against the cold jade wall. Moonlight traced the slender curve of his spine. His robes were half-undone, his jet-black hair disheveled. Head tilted back, Adam's apple rolling, he bit his lower lip as he used his hand to soothe his body's most primal urge. That look of passion—vulnerable and unfamiliar—was a state of disarray Gu Lian had never witnessed before.
Under normal circumstances, Gu Lian might have watched with a mixture of amusement and smug satisfaction. But now, having just escaped the nightmare of being "abandoned," his mind was utterly consumed by fear. A thought, absurd yet logical, exploded within him:
He'd rather take care of it himself than touch me? Could it be... he's truly starting to tire of me?
"Bang—" Gu Lian violently pushed open the door.
Ai Miao froze, his movements halting abruptly. He hastily pulled his clothes into place, turning back in shock: "Your Majesty?!"
Gu Lian did not respond. He walked toward him step by step, his face pale as death in the moonlight, only his eyes burning with a flame bordering on madness. He seized Ai Miao's wrist, still damp and warm, with such force it nearly crushed the bones.
"Why?" Gu Lian's voice was hoarse, trembling with the terror of someone who had narrowly escaped death. "Why here? Why didn't you come to me?"
Ai Miao understood instantly. He saw the terror in Gu Lian's eyes—not anger, but a bottomless panic.
"Your servant... did not wish to disturb Your Majesty's rest," he attempted to explain, his voice still hoarse with lingering emotion.
"Disturb?" Gu Lian gave a low laugh, shattered and broken. He seized Ai Miao's hand, dragging him back into the bedchamber. He shoved him onto the dragon-embroidered bed, then leaned over him. With an unquestionable, even savage intensity, he captured Ai Miao's hand and guided it to the hidden place behind him—a place opened only for his entry.
"Now," Gu Lian stared at him, his eyes burning with desperate resolve, his voice low and strained, like blood-soaked whispers. "I want you... right now, here, to claim me."
"I want you to remember who truly fuels your desire, who is your final destination."
"I want you to leave your mark inside me."
"I want you to tell me in the most direct way... that you still want me."
When Ai Miao's fingertips touched that familiar, tight entrance, his entire body jerked violently. He tried to pull his hand back, his voice tinged with unprecedented panic: "Your Majesty! You mustn't... this is against propriety..."
"To hell with propriety!" Gu Lian growled, his eyes reddened—whether from passion or lingering fear, he couldn't tell. "Before you, I am only Gu Lian! Your Gu Lian!" He stubbornly gripped Ai Miao's hand, forcing it inward. His own body trembled slightly at this resolute intrusion, yet he refused to relinquish even an inch.
"Can you feel it?" Gu Lian's voice was shattered, tinged with a near-desperate plea. "Here... just like you... pure and untouched, waiting only for you. Ai Miao, make me... prove to you that you still want me..."
He leaned down, his forehead pressed against Ai Miao's, his breath hot and ragged. Those eyes, usually filled with authority or deep affection, now held nothing but raw, unadulterated anxiety and supplication.
"Aimiao... Aimiao..." He repeated his name over and over, like a dying man clutching at the only lifeline. "Look at me, feel me... I'm real, I'm yours... Don't reject me..."
The fragility in that voice felt like a blunt knife, stabbing fiercely into Aimiao's heart. Watching him completely lose control, laying bare his most vulnerable self before him, it felt as though an invisible hand had clenched his heart, the pain almost suffocating. All his reason, all his restraint, crumbled before Gu Lian's near-destructive plea for validation. Every ounce of his resistance shattered in that instant, crushed by this nightmare-induced collapse.
He stopped struggling, letting Gu Lian cling to his hand with near-obsessive intensity. He looked at the man beside him—this emperor who ruled over vast lands—now reduced to a lost child, trembling with terror over a mere phantom dream.
A bitter-sweet heat surged into his eyes.
He closed them, and when he opened them again, all panic and struggle had faded from his gaze, replaced by a profound, almost suffocating tenderness and resolve. He took control, abruptly flipping Gu Lian onto his back with a rare hint of roughness in his movements. He lowered his head and seized those lips, trembling slightly with fear and desire, no longer with his usual tender caress but with a punishing, declarative plunder. It was as if through this kiss alone, he intended to crush those absurd "no's" and "weariness" into oblivion.
"Your servant..." he gasped between breaths, his forehead pressed against Gu Lian's, eyes blazing with the same intense fire. Gone was the usual composure, replaced by a fully ignited possessiveness and heartache. "Your servant will prove it to Your Majesty right now!"
He gently gathered his fingers, no longer resisting the guidance. Instead, he began to soothe the taut entrance with the gentlest touch, his patience bordering on reverence.
He lifted his head slightly, kissing away the dampness at Gu Lian's temple—whether sweat or tears, he couldn't tell. His voice was low and steady, carrying a strange power that seemed to dispel the lingering terror of the nightmare. "How could I ever abandon you?"
His other hand slid over Gu Lian's sweat-dampened back, stroking slowly and firmly, as if soothing a frightened beast.
"It is my fault," he murmured onward, his lips brushing Gu Lian's scorching earlobe, "that Your Majesty had such a dream... It is my fault."
His fingertips began to probe, entering with extreme slowness. The tight, scorching embrace made his breath catch, but he suppressed every instinct, focusing all his attention on the person beneath him.
"Can you feel it, Your Majesty?" His voice was hoarse from the intimate intrusion and his own restrained desire. "This is yours... always has been."
He advanced cautiously, sensing Gu Lian's body stiffen momentarily with discomfort and suppressing a muffled groan. He stopped immediately, kissing the corner of his lips gently, murmuring softly, "Relax... Your Majesty, trust me."
Gu Lian clutched his arms tightly, his nails nearly digging into his flesh. The physical discomfort intertwined with the immense psychological shock, leaving him utterly disoriented. Yet, Ai Miao's repeated, low murmurs of "Trust me," the unmistakable tenderness and possessiveness in his ink-black eyes, washed over him like a warm tide, gradually submerging his icy fear.
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to relax his tense body, surrendering himself completely.
"Ugh!" Gu Lian let out a stifled cry of pain, his body instantly tensing as his fingers dug into the dragon-patterned brocade quilt beneath him. The sharp agony of being forcibly opened was painfully clear, yet strangely, it dispelled the bone-chilling coldness of his dream.
Ai Miao paused, sweat beading on his temple and dripping onto Gu Lian's neck, scorching hot. Seeing Gu Lian's furrowed brow and pallid face, his heart clenched in pain. His movements softened to the utmost gentleness, filled with profound tenderness, as he kissed away the physiological tears from the corners of Gu Lian's eyes.
"Does it hurt?" Ai Miao's voice was hoarse.
Gu Lian shook his head, lifting his hips to meet him, drawing them deeper together. His voice trembled with tears yet held an unusual resolve: "...Keep going. Ai Miao, I want you... to remember this feeling, to remember how you feel inside me... Never forget it!"
When Ai Miao finally entered completely, both of them couldn't help but let out a long, trembling sigh. It was an unprecedented closeness, connecting body and soul.
Ai Miao didn't move immediately. He simply stayed deeply buried inside, feeling the scorching heat and the subtle tremors within Gu Lian. He lowered his head, kissing Gu Lian's brow, bridge of his nose, and lips with meticulous care, repeating the gesture endlessly, tirelessly confirming their mutual existence.
"Now," Ai Miao's voice was low and sensual, carrying an unquestionable declaration as it echoed in Gu Lian's ear, each word striking the very core of his heart, "Your Majesty still believes this subject would abandon you?"
He began to move slowly, each thrust and withdrawal marked by utmost restraint and reverence. Gone was the cold abandonment of dreams, replaced by the fiery possession and protection of reality.
"This empire," he murmured, "is yours."
"This heartbeat," he guided Gu Lian's hand to his own, pounding against his chest, "is yours."
"This desire," he thrust deeply into the most sensitive spot, savoring the intense tremors and suppressed moans beneath him, "is also His Majesty's."
His movements grew heavier, mirroring the surging emotions within him, no longer concealing the deep, almost consuming possessiveness that threatened to burn them both.
"Everything I am belongs to Your Majesty," he murmured into Gu Lian's ear, sealing the final declaration. "So fear no more, my Emperor... my Gu Lian."
This proclamation became the final thunderclap shattering his restraint. He abandoned all control, thrusting with fierce intensity, each deep penetration seeming to reach the depths of their souls. This was no mere release of desire, but a ritual of confirmation bordering on devotion. Through the most primal means, they repeatedly branded their bodies with an indelible mark of belonging.
"Can you feel it, Your Majesty..." Ai Miao whispered into Gu Lian's ear, his breath scorching. "I am here... only for Your Majesty... Only Your Majesty..."
Gu Lian crumbled under his fierce assault, responding only with broken moans, tighter entwining, and waves of uncontrollable spasms within. The fullness of being filled, of being claimed, so real, so scorching, finally banished the emptiness and coldness brought by the nightmare. He clung to the man atop him as if embracing the entire world regained, choking out that name amidst the trembling waves Aimiao brought:
"Aimiao...!"
As the final wave crashed over him, Gu Lian murmured with his last ounce of strength into his ear: "Don't... ever say you don't want me again... Don't..."
Ai Miao held his sweat-drenched body, feeling the subtle tremors of ecstasy still coursing through him. He kissed the crown of his head with profound reverence, making a solemn promise:
"Very well. Your servant... shall never dare again."
[Epilogue]
Within the sleeping chamber, the fierce storm had long since subsided, leaving only tender afterglow and the steady rhythm of their intertwined breaths.
Gu Lian curled up in Ai Miao's embrace, sleeping deeply and peacefully. His fingers still clutched a strand of Ai Miao's hair unconsciously, as if grasping the only lifeline. Ai Miao watched him quietly, his fingertips gently smoothing the slight frown between Gu Lian's brows until it completely relaxed. As night deepened, the frown on the face in his arms faded, and his breathing grew steadily calmer and longer. Yet Ai Miao felt no drowsiness. By the hazy moonlight filtering through the gauze curtains, he traced the contours of this sleeping face he vowed to protect for a lifetime.
He knew that nightmare hadn't come from nowhere. It was his abrupt departure all those years ago, his deliberate aloofness after returning to the capital, his habit as a strategist of controlling everything—yet failing to provide enough emotional security. That was why this emperor, who ruled the world, still harbored such a shadow of fear deep within his heart.
He lowered his head, pressing an almost weightless kiss to Gu Lian's smooth forehead. His dark eyes held an unfathomable depth of tenderness and resolve.
"Fool..." he murmured softly, drawing Gu Lian closer, as if seeking to merge them into one. His voice carried endless tenderness and self-reproach. "How could I ever abandon you?"
" This vast empire, these millennia of glory—without you by my side, they are but another, more splendid prison."
"All I ever wanted was you, Gu Lian."
He pressed a feather-light kiss to Gu Lian's slightly swollen lips, sealing an eternal vow.
"Sleep now, my Majesty, my... Lian."
"I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that you are forever my most insatiable desire and my warmest refuge."
Moonlight bathed the sleeping pair in serene stillness, transforming the midnight panic and quest for certainty into an even deeper bond. The night stretched on, but the warmth of their bodies was the most reassuring anchor.