Crystal
Their shocked faces, the silence in the room was a testament that the secret they were keeping was something I was forbidden to hear.
"Dear, did you hear anything?" Mother spoke in a calm tone, though her eyes held a different emotion.
Fear...
I could sense it. She was scared I had overheard them. I frowned, angry at them.
"Were you hiding something I am forbidden to hear?" I asked back, my tone flat, but anyone could tell I was not pleased.
"Ah..... no, it's just that every family has secrets that are meant to be kept as a secret," she replied with a smile and walked towards me, about to hold my hand, but I took my hand back.
"Father... do you have another child outside, or perhaps you, Mother?" I asked and watched as they began to laugh.
"Don't say that, dear. Not that kind of secret. Well, you don't have to worry about it," Mother said with a smile and kissed my forehead.
"I will leave you with your father; he has something to say to you," she added and gently left, closing the door behind her.
I stared at Father and let out a shaky breath. He smiled and gestured for me to sit close to him, which I did.
Father is a man of few words, always quiet.
"You look troubled, dearest. Mind to tell me what is on your mind?" he spoke calmly, his eyes not leaving me.
I smiled and took his hand. "You see, Father... it is about my marriage. Brother and Mother want me to marry Collin, but I don't love him," I spoke, every word sincere.
Apart from my brothers, Father is my safe place, and to an extent, he knows me better than Mother.
"Marriage must not be based on love, dearest. I know you want that, but I don't think it is possible for now. Your mother and I married each other without love, but later on, we found every way to love each other."
He spoke, his voice calm and soothing, but I felt he was wrong. I know my parents married without love, but I am not ready for such a marriage. I can't let my parents' pattern of marriage be mine.
"But Father... I can't marry him," I spoke.
"He is a good man, dearest."
"I know, Father, but I don't love him."
He sighed at my words, and I could sense his worry. "He is the only one in this village suitable to marry you. Just give him a chance, and love can come later," Father advised. I stared into space, my mind fogged with many thoughts.
"Father... give me time to think. What if I find someone I have interest in tonight? Promise me I won't marry Collin," I spoke, looking straight into my father's eyes.
He laughed a little, then stopped. "It's not about having interest in him. What if he doesn't have the same feeling?" he questioned. I narrowed my eyes, searching for a good answer to give Father because my life depended on it.
"I-I will marry him," I spoke, gritting my teeth.
If no young man finds interest in me, and I have interest in him too, then I'll just have to marry Collin. But my hunch is telling me I will find someone today. After all, I am beautiful.
I laughed inside at that word ' beautiful', This is the first time I'm considering it a good thing.
"Good," Father replied and touched my face. "Very soon, I will miss seeing this face," he added with a sad smile.
I laughed. "Don't worry, Father. If I eventually marry, I will visit often."
"Eventually?" he spoke, narrowing his eyes.
"Umm... no, I mean if I marry," I corrected myself quickly.
I don't want to get married! I don't want to be entangled with a man!
I screamed inside me. I was just saying those words to make Father worry less.
I just want to live a free life. I was not made for marriage that's why I haven't had any feelings for anyone, even at my age, which is very strange.
But if it is to please my parents, I'll just try it. If unfortunately I get married to Collin, I will set out rules, no touching. Since he loves me, he has to accept that side of me too.
I won't bear his children, and I won't satisfy him in bed.
"Dearest?" Father's voice brought me back.
"Yes, Father," I replied with a fake smile.
"You seem lost," he spoke, smiling sadly.
"Don't be angry at us for forcing you to marry him. We have no choice, and we can't watch you be forced to marry an old man or be killed," he said, and for the first time, tears brimmed in his eyes. "I can't afford to lose you, dearest," he added, and I hugged him.
"Father, you need not worry... I am here. And about the marriage..... I will marry, okay?" I said, giving him my word.
He nodded, and I withdrew from the hug. "I need to start preparing for tonight," I spoke, and he smiled.
"Okay, dearest. See you later," he said, and I smiled back at him before leaving.
Closing the door behind me, I let out a shaky breath. I had to do what I didn't want to do for my parents.
Walking back to my room, I saw Luther waiting at the entrance.
"Sister..." he spoke calmly looking at me .
"Are you happy now?" I asked, clearly not pleased that he had told Father, because Father is the only one who truly has a say in this matter.
"Happy? It's for your own good, Sister. I did what was only right," he said, justifying his actions.
I laughed bitterly at his speech, clearly angry.
"It's high time you stop caring so much about my marriage a
nd go get yourself a wife!" I spat and banged my door shut in anger, locking it behind.