As she was walking she couldn't take her mind of the subject of why viserys wouldn't give away of what's troubling him, as she had seen him many times drinking quietly in his quarters and pondering to himself after the small council and the meetings had end.
She had never seen him so engrossed in his own world as he was either in the meetings or with his miniature valarian set, admiring the innovation and the design of the ancient freehold empire.
But after the birth of rhaegar he has started to close himself and drink whole night till he forgets his sence of self, this was how she had confirmed that her husband's attitude had changed because of the birth of rhaegar, but he wouldn't tell anyone of his troubles.
Though Alicent one day, when viserys was deeply drunk and blabbering to himself, had made up her mind and confronted her husband, she had thought he wouldn't reveal anything as always, but he did say the gist of it---
(Flashback)
"Rhaegar... is special, a very special one, the targaryens have yet to witness him, his prophecy" he murmured, then suddenly as if he didn't know what he was talking about, he started to say something else, something she didn't understand.
"Rhaegar.... that, my son, my destiny, my dream..... he... He is the prince that was promised, the cold winter and dark nights.... H-he will be the one to end it" viserys had said her in his drunken frevor.
He seemed ecstatic at one point but something flickered in his drunken eye-- doubt?
"Or is he?" He said that to himself and as the alcohol reached his mind he drifted of to dream nation.
(Flashback end)
She had clearly seen the suspicion that crossed his face.
Even today she thinks about what he had meant that day, she understood that rhaegar was somewhat special though she still has her own doubts and concern, but the rest? Nay, nothing rest made sense to her.
But confusion, anxiety and concern gwaned at her heart
What if Viserys is right?
What if Rhaegar truly is special, touched by prophecy?
But what if the touch is not holy but cursed?
What if the gods gave me a son as a form of my sins to atone' she started thinking about how she and her father had started to consolidate aegon's claim over the king's words and his chosen heir.
She feared that as a form of punishment, the seven had sent rhaegar to her.
As she was dreading about what the future has for her and her family, she turned to the corner into the corridor, she stopped short.
Because.
Rhaegar stood before her chamber door, perfectly still, his small body rigid, his face tilted slightly upward as if listening to something only he could hear. He did not move. Did not acknowledge her presence. Just... stood there, like a statue, like a ghost, like something not quite real.
Alicent's heart clenched.
"Rhaegar?" she called softly, keeping her voice gentle.
"What are you doing, sweetling?"
The boy turned to look at her, and Alicent saw his lips part slightly, and saw something desperate flash across his eyes. He was trying to speak, she realized. Trying so hard that it looked almost painful.
But no words came. His mouth opened and closed soundlessly, and his face remained that awful, expressionless mask even as his eyes screamed with some emotion she could not name.
Five seconds. Ten. Twenty.
'here he goes again' alicent thought in distress.
"Rhaegar, speak to me" Alicent knelt before him, searching his face for any sign of illness or distress. "Are you unwell? Should I send for Maester Orwyle?"
"No" he said keeping a stoic face
And just stared at her, that terrible, unblinking stare that made her want to look away but could not because he was her son, her child, and she was his mother, and mothers were supposed to understand their children.
But she did not understand him. She had never understood him, it was frustrating even.
Thirty seconds of silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating, and Alicent felt her patience, already worn thin by a day of court politics and her constant perturbation because of her son, she finally snap.
She stood, smoothing her skirts with hands that trembled slightly. "Very well. I shall be in the chambers if you need me."
She walked past him, and as she did, she caught the faintest sound, a soft intake of breath, as if he were about to speak. She almost stopped. Almost turned back.
But she was tired. So tired. Tired of trying to reach a child who seemed determined to remain unreachable.
Tired of wondering if she had done something wrong, if his strangeness was her fault somehow.
Tired of the whispers she heard from servants and courtiers alike:
"There is something wrong with Queen Alicent's boy."
"Beautiful as dawn, but empty as a doll."*
So she kept walking, her footsteps echoing down the corridor, and left her son standing alone in the shadows.
___________________
Later that night, after vespers, after supper, after she had tucked Aegon into bed, and found rhaegar sleeping quietly in his quarters and checked on baby Helaena, Alicent found herself in her chambers, staring at her reflection in the looking glass.
"I am a terrible mother," she whispered to her own tired eyes.
A knock at the door made her turn. "Enter."
It was Ser erryk cargyll, her sworn shield, his white cloak pristine even at this late hour.
"Your Grace. Forgive the intrusion, but I thought you should know, Prince Rhaegar gave Prince Aegon his handkerchief this evening when the boy injured himself. He tended the wound without even being asked."
Alicent blinked. "He... he did?"
She asked a bit taken aback as her second son never made any gesture or showed that he was even capable of doing something like that.
"Yes, Your Grace. I witnessed it myself. The prince was quite gentle. Quite caring, in fact." Erryk paused, his dark eyes thoughtful.
"Prince Aegon seemed surprised too, but he was pleased. He has been carrying the handkerchief around like a gift"
Alicent sank down onto her bed, her legs suddenly weak, she wanted to ask what the brothers talked about in the time, but she knew better, instead asked "But he did not say anything? Rhaegar, I mean?"
"Not a word, Your Grace" ser erryk said, his face still stern.
"But actions speak as well, do they not?" He had a small smile tugging at his lips now, he looked happy, amazed even at the sight he had witnessed.
But he can't keep it with himself anymore and choose to tell her grace quickly about it.
Ser erryk left after reporting.
Alicent sat in silence, her mind racing. Rhaegar had helped his brother. Had cared for him without prompting, without needing to ask him, without anyone even knowing until erryk happened to see.
'maybe he does feel,' she realized with sudden clarity. 'He feels, but he cannot show it. Or perhaps he shows it, but not in ways I understand. Not with words and smiles and all the things normal children use. He shows it with silence and actions and that terrible, intense stare that frightens everyone but perhaps is just his way of saying "I see you. I know you. I care."'
It was a revelation that brought tears to her eyes. Because if it was true, then she had been failing her son in the cruelest way possible, by demanding he be something he could not be, by measuring him against Aegon, by fearing his differences instead of accepting them.
She was flooding rivers on her face but it was, for once, for a happy revelation, though she had cried because of her inability to understand her son.
But still she was happy that he had emotions, and mainly he loved his brother and family.
And that alone was enough for her to be satisfied to go to the sept early in the morning without any dealy
"Forgive me, Rhaegar," she whispered to the empty room. "Forgive me for not understanding."
But understanding completely?, she feared that it might still be beyond her. Because her strange, silent son was a puzzle she did not know how to solve, a language she did not know how to speak. And every day the distance between them grew wider, and she did not know how to cross it.
'But i wouldn't let it grow bigger anylonger, not anymore' She blew out the candle and lay in darkness, and dreamed of golden eyes that saw too much and said too little, and wondered what would become of the boy the realm whispered about in tones of unease and fear.
Her second son. Her silent prince. Her beautiful, Rhaegar.
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Author here!!
How was the chapter, I wrote 1500 words within 2 hours, which is a complete improvement from my side, but I think there is some grammatical errors, do bare with it, cause I'm writing and editing the next chapter, and don't have much time.
Also guys, be expressive, and tell me about your thoughts in the comments, I have to know how the readers are feeling after reading, be it criticism or glaze, I'll take both, you can help me guide in any mistake that I've made, or any plot suggestion.