**16.00 GMT-5, 22 June 2000, Westchester County, NY, USA.**
MARIE
Xavier wheeled himself forward, his gaze sweeping over the stunned students. Reluctantly, they began to disperse. "I believe we have much to discuss. But first," he said, turning to the children, his tone shifting to one of gentle dismissal. "Ororo, perhaps you could show the children to the kitchens? I'm sure they're hungry after their… journey."
Storm nodded gracefully. "Of course, Professor. This way."
Wade perked up immediately. "Well, thank God, I am starving. You guys got chimichangas?" He fell into step behind her without a second glance. "Anyway, did anyone tell you that you are my favorite X-Men? You are like so badass and---"
Wade's mouth never stop moving as he trailing behind Storm who already looks amused by his antics.
Ken looked at his brother's retreating back with deep suspicion before turning to his parents. At their subtle nod, he shrugged, his voice a studied nonchalance. "Yeah, I could eat. All that healing makes you hungry. C'mon, Laura."
Logan and Marie watched them go, their postures only relaxing a fraction once the kids were out of sight. Xavier gestured toward the main building. "If you'll follow me."
The War Room was a stark contrast to the lawn–all sleek surfaces, holographic displays, and a quiet, intimidating hum of technology. Logan and Marie stood side-by-side, facing Xavier, Summers, and Grey across the polished table.
Xavier began, his hands steepled. "As I was saying before, the man and woman who attacked you work for a very powerful, very dangerous mutant named Magneto. He believes a war between mutants and humanity is inevitable, and he is building an army to ensure mutants win."
Logan's response was a low grunt. "And what's that got to do with us?"
"We believe you were specifically targeted," Xavier continued. "Magneto's plans are complex, and he often recruits–or coerces–powerful mutants to his cause. With both of your particular set of abilities, you would be significant assets for him. He likely needs you for the next phase of his operation."
Marie's eyes narrowed. "We don't need your protection."
"Of course not," Xavier agreed smoothly. "But you'll still be safest here, where we can—"
SPOOF.
A soft sound and a faint whiff of sulfur cut him off. Wade was now leaning against the wall next to a large holographic world map, casually adjusting his glove. "Woo, almost decapitated myself there…" His eyes then landed on the holographic profile of Magneto. "Oh, hey! That's Metal Gandalf! I know that guy. Hired me once. Tried to turn me into a human pretzel when things went south… not a fan."
Summers and Grey shot to their feet, Summers's hand flying to his visor. Xavier merely raised a single eyebrow.
"WHAT? How come we didn't know? Wait, you didn't take a job again without us knowing, did you?" Logan was surprised as they never heard of 'the mission' their son took. Weasel never told them any of these.
Weasel was supposed to tell them any mission Wade took.
Marie is gonna kill that man someday.
"You said every USA and Canada only mission didn't need to be vet!"
Yeah! Because he did so many unnecessary ones that made them go crazy because of it! 100 missions for one day!
That kid was doing it on purpose!
Marie contemplating on also killing her son someday.
"Fucking hell! That's not what I mean kid!" Logan put his hand on his head again in frustration for the second time. "You really gave me the grey hair here!"
"You and me both Logan. My white streak seems to be wider as well these past four years. Ah really gonna kill Weasel someday!" Marie sighed.
"Can I watch?"
"NOOO!" both of them said in unison.
"Aww! Shuck!" Wade said, disappointed. "So, you were saying the shiny helmet guy is after us? Yeah, that tracks. I guess he realized I'm not actually dead."
Xavier focused his sight on Wade suddenly. "You've encountered Magneto? When? Why did he want you dead?"
"I took some job from him–I am a merc on the weekend." Wade said, pulling an apple from his pocket and taking a loud bite. "Got hired to retrieve some blueprints from a government weapons lab. Slick operation, in and out. Except I 'accidentally' downloaded a corrupted data chip and, uh, kinda-sorta capped one of his fav goons I guess. It was an accident! He was lunging at me and it was just… creepy."
Summers found his voice, thick with moral outrage. He rounded on Logan and Marie. "Merc? You let your teenage son be a mercenary?"
"Say the guy who let his mentee become a furry who fights bad guys at night, I don't know what Batman sees in you."
"Who?"
Logan's response was a gravelly sigh of pure exhaustion. "We tried to stop him. It's also only a part-time job. He's not allowed on school nights."
"He's already doing that before we found out. Always sneaking out," Marie added, defensively crossing her arms. "At least this way we know where and what he's doing. We even set some rules. Sometimes we even go with him. Keep an eye on things."
Summers scoffed "Yeah, seems you got it covered alright…"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"Our real occupation is actually not that far from what he's been doing, believe it or not, so yeah we got it covered!" Marie said flatly as she tried to restrain Logan from stabbing Summers.
Xavier, however, kept his eyes focus on Wade. "Wade. These blueprints. What were they for?"
Wade's flippant demeanor sobered, just a fraction. He tossed the apple core into a distant trash can. "An anti-mutant machine. Nasty piece of work. It was supposed to suppress and obliterate the X-Gene. I think this one was a prototype of the anti-mutant power collar that emerged a couple years back. The tech was a bust anyway—from what I saw in the data, anyone who suppressed their powers either killed themselves with their power becoming uncontrollable or went catatonic because their body couldn't handle the gamma ray."
He then shoved his hands in his pockets. "I kinda accidentally torched the originals and gave Metal-head the corrupted data. I figured he wouldn't mind since he's a radical mutant activist anyway. Turns out he wanted to reverse it. Make everyone a mutant. Then I was like 'No way dude, That's too extreme!' and he's like instantly crumpled me into a metal ball with his metal sorounding–which is no surprise magnetism master had his whole villain's cave covered in–and put me in the bottom of the sea."
"WHAT?"
"Relax Pops, I obviously survived since I'm here, but yeah not a nice memory… I could actually swim and didn't just sank into the bottom unlike someone."
"Wade, be nice to your father!"
"Yes Mama!"
"That's not possible! If humans didn't have any slight X-Gene on their DNA, the consequence would be–." Grey muttered, her face pale.
Xavier's voice was laced with dread. "Wade… does Magneto still have the data you gave him?"
"Yeah, I had to bail before I could destroy his copy," Wade shrugged. "In case you forgot, I was kinda busy surviving being a ball in the bottom of the ocean. He only knew me for my teleportation, that's actually why he hired me. I don't know if he could actually build it from that digital garbage, though. It was pretty scrambled, unless he's got a real genius on his payroll."
"But he did," Xavier said quietly. "I have seen the framework of the device in his mind. He might not look like it but he is also a little genius himself."
Wade's eyes lit up with mock revelation. "Is this why you've been trying to contact me with that stalker machine?"
"IT IS NOT A STALKER MACHINE!" Xavier's composure cracked, his voice echoing in the room. "AND I NEVER CONTACTED YOU!"
But Wade was already pointing an accusing finger. "YOU WATCHED ME MASTURBATE, MAN! NOT COOL! I REMEMBER WHEN YOUR LITTLE THING CREEPS INTO MY BRAINS!"
"WAIT THAT WAS YOU!?!?!?"
"WHAT THE FUCK??? YOU WHAT???" Logan and Marie roared in terrifying unison, shooting to their feet. Logan's knuckles were white on the table, the distinct SNIKT of one adamantium claw partially extending grating through the air.
Xavier flushed a deep, flustered crimson. "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" he insisted, his voice rising an octave.
"You know, I'm surprised you don't have more of those 'accidents,' Chuck, considering the student body here. Lots of hormonal teenagers…"
"..."
"NO FUCKING WAY! THERE ARE!!! OH, TELL ME, TELL ME!" Wade crowed, clapping his hands with gleeful malice, circling the flustered professor.
Summers looked as if he wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole. "Can we please," he implored, his voice strained to its limit, "return to the matter of the machine that could unilaterally rewrite global biology?"
"Fine," Wade said, rolling his eyes with theatrical reluctance. "You are lucky I'm a fan, Donut Lord. Look, the point is, I know where their secret supervillain lair is. The one he was using back then. It might still be there. I can get us in."
"We'll take the Blackbird," Summers stated, forcibly recomposing himself and shifting back into mission-leader mode, visibly grateful for the change of subject.
Logan and Marie stood up as one, "We're going too," Logan growled, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"He came after our family," Marie added, her Southern accent sharp as a blade. "This isn't just your fight anymore."
"Whoa, whoa, I might have to stop you there, parents," Wade interjected, holding up his hands. "Your whole skeleton is metal! You cannot go toe-to-toe with the guy whose name is literally Magnet. And also, we're going with the Blackbird? A piece of metal that could be easily crumbled by him? Really?"
"Erik wouldn't do that," Xavier said, though he sounded less than certain.
"Are you really sure?" Wade pressed. "He crumpled me into a ball."
"..." Xavier's silence was more telling than any answer.
"Well, I can't exactly teleport us all there either," Wade continued. "He's probably laced the place with anti-teleport jammers now that he knows I'm not dead."
"What do you propose we do?" Scott asked, his frustration evident.
Wade's masked face seemed to grin. "You guys up for a little suicide stealth mission?"
"Wade…" Logan and Marie warned in unison.
"Okay, okay! A normal stealth mission, then," Wade amended. "But I'm gonna need all of your wooden bats. And anything else made of wood you've got lying around. We're going really old-school with this."
"Very well," Xavier conceded, looking utterly drained. "But you will follow Scott's lead on this mission. Is that understood? I believe there are a few spare uniforms you could use."
Wade gave a flippant salute. "Only temporarily. We're still not joining your X-Men, Picard."
**21.00 GMT-5, 22 June 2000, Well I knew it was near NY, USA.**
WADE
The Blackbird cuts through the night sky, the plane is enshrouded by Storm's carefully maintained cloud cover. Inside, the mood was tense, a silence broken only by the hum of the engines and the sound of Wade fidgeting in the seat behind the cockpit.
"Unbelievable," he muttered, pulling at the collar of the black and yellow X-Men uniform he'd been given. "It's like they skinned a pleather couch from the 70s. Who was your tailor? A sadist with a latex fetish?"
/More like stupid studio executive with ego so up in his ass./
(Ohh, the damage The Matrix did to that era… Tragic, really.)
In the seats across from him, Logan grunted, shifting his own broad shoulders uncomfortably. The uniform was tight across the chest. "The kid's got a point," he admitted to Marie, his voice a low rumble. "You actually go outside in this thing?"
"What do you prefer? Yellow spandex?" Scott retorted mockingly from the pilot's seat.
"YES! Actually! Just look at the box office numbers!" Wade shot back, throwing his hands up.
(The highest-grossing R-rated film, baby!)
/And we make more than all the X-Men titled movies combined! The people have spoken!/
Scott kept his eyes forward, but his jaw was tight. Jean and Ororo, seated nearby, simply stared at the three newcomers, their expressions a mixture of disbelief and bemusement.
Wade caught their looks. "Oh, what? Don't give me that. You know I'm right." He gestured around the sleek, high-tech interior of the jet. "This thing is a marvel of engineering. Your fashion sense, however, is a crime against humanity and common sense." He leaned forward, peering at the three veteran X-Men. "Which begs the question... you guys don't actually have any other frontline fighters besides Fuzzball, do you? You're all like long range only. No wonder the suit is so tight! Where is Beast, anyway? This is a fanfic! We could afford everyone here with little to no consequences!"
/Or the author didn't know how to write Beast into the story yet./
(Or he knew but forgot anyway, since he was high and drunk… two worst possible combination, how is he not dead yet is a miracle)
Scott's grip on the controls tightened. "He's at a genetics conference in Switzerland," he said through gritted teeth.
"Convenient," Wade shot back, leaning back into his seat. "Very, very convenient."
"Just shut up and tell us where to go, kid…"
Wade slumped with an exaggerated sigh. "Urgh, so cranky… I wonder how Sonic could tolerate you! Anyway, can this lovely bird land on water? Wait, Dad can't float... Hmm, hey Storm, can you keep this thing afloat in the air? Say, about five miles north of here?"
Ororo nodded. "Yes, but one of us would need to remain aboard to maintain the systems."
"I'll do it," Jean said.
"Perfect! Then grab your parachutes, people! We're jumping from here!"
"You cannot be serious," Scott said, looking utterly flabbergasted.
"Deeply, truly serious," Wade countered, his tone losing its joking edge. "This, or we just fly the Blackbird right up to the front door for a surprise. You should know my game plan by now; it's almost the same as what I did to you."
A memory of relentless, chaotic pranks flashed behind Scott's eyes. "...Yeah," he conceded with a weary sigh. "I should have known."
"Then get your gear, Cyke..."
Minutes later, the cargo door hissed open, the roar of the wind whipping through the cabin. The team stood at the edge, harnessed and ready.
"See that ugly island?" Wade yelled over the gale, pointing to a dark speck in the moonlit water below. "That's the place! Storm, my dear, don't forget the cloud cover!"
"I will be ready," Ororo assured him, her eyes already beginning to glow white.
"Thank you! See you on the other side, then! Maximum effort!" Wade gave a two-fingered salute and then, without another word, executed a perfect backflip into the abyss.
"God, this kid..." Logan facepalmed, the wind tearing at his muttonchops.
"Well, He is our kid, Logan," Marie laughing, placing a hand on his shoulder before pulling him with her into the open sky.
Scott looked down at the vanishing figures, then at Ororo. "They are a really weird family..."
"Indeed, but in a cute way." Ororo replied with a rather amused smile touching her lips before she stepped out into the night, Scott following shortly behind.