đş Dominic's POV:
This is insane. Like... what in the actual Wattpad clichĂŠ hell is this? I'm standing here dressed like some knock-off K-drama lead, waiting, freezing my tail off, does Vamps even know how to tell time? Or is he busy trying on his 300th attempt to tie a shoe and crying over which shoelace sparkles more?
And don't even get me started on Ray. That donkey-brained monkey is crouching behind a bush, giving me thumbs up like he's Cupid on crack. He thinks he's slick, but no-he looks like a raccoon who lost his trash.
Oh, and the roses? Yeah, genius here bought 108 white roses dyed blue. One hundred and eight. Why? Because apparently it's his "lucky number." Who the hell even has a lucky number of roses? Like bro, what kind of spoiled brat flex is this? Kid walks into a flower shop and drops cash like he's paying off national debt. Meanwhile, me? Cut off from my credit card by my mom and living off a vampire's paycheck like some freeloader. Fantastic at my own apartment.
And now it's snowing. Great. As if I wasn't cold enough.
...And-great. Now I've got butterflies. If these stupid ears or tail even think about popping out, I swear I'll rip them off myself.
If Lean doesn't show up in the next five minutes, I'm killing Ray and holding his funeral right here in this alley. Don't even need a coffin, just toss him back in that bush he's hiding in. Instant eco-friendly burial.
And trust me-I'll give the speech.
"Here lies Raymond Miller, age: annoying, cause of death: being a donkey-brained idiot who thought dyeing 108 roses blue would solve love."
People will cry. Not because he's dead, but because they can't believe someone that stupid lived this long.
I'll even throw in some flowers. Not roses though, I'm burning those with him.
And when Lean asks, I'll just shrug and say:
"Oh, that guy? Yeah, he passed. Heroically. Death by his own stupidity."
Wait-scratch that. Why waste good human meat? I could eat him. Meatballs, sausages, maybe some spicy Ray kebabs. Lean likes food-this could technically count as effort.
Hell, I could even sell the leftovers. "Fresh Miller meat-organic, grass-fed, slightly marinated in cologne." I'd be rich for a week at least.
If Lean doesn't show up, I swear Ray's going straight on the menu. Literally.
Ray's Fine Dining Specials
Grilled Miller Sausages - $15, comes with a side of regret.
Ray-meat Kebabs - $20, extra chewy because stupidity doesn't tenderize.
Annoying Donkey-Brain Soup - $10, warning: may cause migraines.
Blue Rose Salad - FREE, because no one's dumb enough to pay for dyed flowers.
And the pièce de rÊsistance:
Filet of Miller Ă la Idiot - $50, served rare because his brain never fully cooked.
I'll make a fortune for like... three days. Then the cops will show up, and I'll just shrug and say:
"Yeah, officer, he died as he lived-being a dumbass."
Or i could just sell his organs too! .
đ§ââď¸ Lean's POV:
I'm dead. Like, officially dead. I just tripped over the glass on the tea table while trying to shove myself into these pants. Puppers is gonna kill me. Vampire pickle, that's what I'll be.
Whatever. No time. I'm already late-if I don't show up in ten minutes, he'll probably turn me into wolf chow.
Checklist mode, GO:
Black sleeveless tee âď¸
Leather jacket âď¸
Tiger claw choker âď¸
Wristwatch âď¸
Cream jeans âď¸
Sneakers âď¸
Blueberry deo âď¸
Lean âď¸ (obviously flawless)
Done. Ready. Gorgeous. Crisis slightly contained.
I grab my phone, slam the door shut, twist the keys-"PUPPERS, I'M COMING!!"-and bolt into the night.
Half a block later: distraction unlocked.
"Oh hello, kitty!!!"
A massive ginger cat plops in front of me, round as a loaf of bread. I crouch instantly. Priorities.
"You got food?" it meows, eyes glowing like it owns the block.
"I... uh... maybe??"
The cat rattles off an entire opera of "meows." Translation (reminders again i am a vampire, i can almost understand every animals! Just never got a chance to have a jab with a T-Rex): Nevermind. I live around the corner. Free pest control included. Call me around dinner if you've got problems. Respect the whiskers.
"Cool," I nod solemnly. "Respect."
I salute the oversized fluffball and take off again, sprinting down the street. Snowflakes swirl. Lights twinkle. And me? I'm twirling around lampposts, bouncing along like some sugar-high Disney princess singing butchered One Direction lyrics.
And yeah-I'm late. But at least I look fabulous doing it. And I am slaying it! The whole street is staring at me. Their jaws drop. Their eyes widen. Clearly, they are in awe.
...Or maybe it's because I'm yelling the wrong One Direction lyrics at the top of my lungs while spinning like a blender.
Either way, I'm serving."
đľ 'One way or another, I'm gonna fiiind yaaa-gonna eaaaat yaaa-gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna-'
People scatter. Children hide. Dogs bark.
But me? I keep spinning. Because if world domination starts with a One Direction solo... then so be it."
Okay, okay-I'm almost there! The bakery lights are glowing, snowflakes are falling... perfect dramatic entrance.
But wait. Where's the wolf?
I don't see him anywhere. Just... some random gentleman sitting on the bench under the cherry tree.
...Did he-did he get mad that I'm late and LEAVE?
No. No no no no no.
"PUPPERS!!!!!"
I collapse to my knees like the tragic hero in a vampire soap opera, ready to wail at the heavens.
Then-footsteps. Slow, steady. Someone's coming toward me.
It's the guy from the bench.
"Vamps?" he says.
My head snaps up. He knows my name?! OH MY FANGS. Stranger danger. Kidnapper energy.
"M-Mommy!! Stay back! Who are you?! How do you know my name?! Are you gonna kidnap me?! Listen, my husband's a werewolf-he'll eat you!!"
The guy groans, low and familiar. "What the fuck are you talking about? Are you high on sugar? And I am NOT your damn husband."
Wait... that voice. That grumpy snarl.
No way.
In the golden bakery light spilling onto the street, I see his face properly and-OH. MY. DEVIL.
"Who are you?! Are you a skinwalker?! What did you do to my Puppers?!"
Because, like... he looks exactly like Dominic. But not my feral, bitey wolf. This version? He's... domesticated. Tame. Normal. My brain short-circuits.
So naturally-I punch him in the gut. "WHERE IS MY PUPPERS?!"
He doubles over. "Agh!! You damned oversized, sugar-high, rabid squirrel!! I swear I'm gonna fry you in garlic oil-"
That growl. That irritation. That's him.
"Wait... it's really you, Puppers?" I cross my arms, suspicious.
"Who the fuck ELSE do you think it is, dumbass?!" he snaps.
"I don't believe you. Prove it. Tell me something only Puppers would know."
He exhales like he's been cursed. "Fuck you." Another breath. "Fine. Your birthday. December 7th."
"Too easy. Anyone could know that."
"WHY would anyone else know your damn birthday?! Okay, fine. You've got five moles on your left butt cheek, and if you connect the dots, it makes a star."
...Oh, okay. DEFINITELY Puppers.
But unholy garlic breadsticks-he looks nothing like his usual wolfy self. His hair is neatly combed, he's wearing a crisp black suit jacket, denim pants, sleek Puma shoes, golden chain, and a shiny wristwatch. He even smells different-like fresh waterfalls instead of damp dog.
I can't help it. I launch myself straight into his arms.
"PUPPERS, I'M SORRY!"
He tries to peel me off, muttering curses, but too late-I'm already smothering his face with kisses, staking my claim like the dramatic vampire I am.
đş Dominic's POV:
Jesus Christ. I comb my hair once, put on a jacket like a civilized human being, and suddenly Vamps thinks I've been kidnapped by aliens.
Like I was getting some increased heart beats seeing him jumping down the lane and then,
One second I'm trying to walk over all smooth, the nextâBAM. HE PUNCHES MY GUT and then He launches himself at me like a caffeinated koala.
"PUPPERS, I'M SORRY!" he wails while attacking my face with kisses.
"Get off me, idiot, people are staring!" I hiss, trying to peel him off without making a scene. Which, yeah, too late. Because now three aunties walking past the bakery are whispering, pointing like they just spotted Bigfoot making out with a squirrel.
Lean only squeezes me tighter. "Good! Let them look! I bagged the hottest wolf in town!"
Hottestâwhat the actualâwho even says that out loud?! My ears are burning, and I'm praying to every god in existence that my tail doesn't pop out.
"Shut the fuck up before I leave you here," I growl, but of course he just beams like he won the lottery.
And then. Then. Out of the corner of my eyeâmovement.
Ray. That monkey raccoon hybrid has crawled halfway out of his bush, holding up his phone like he's the damn paparazzi. He's grinning like a Disney sidekick who thinks this is his big musical number.
"OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE," I snap. "MILLER, PUT THAT PHONE DOWN OR I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOURâ"
Click. Flash.
"...ASS."
Yeah. He actually took a picture. No like 20 pictures
If Lean doesn't stop kissing me and Ray doesn't disappear in the next five seconds, I swear this alley's about to have two funerals.
Finally!! I managed to peel the Sucker off me! Dude literally sucked my face in with kisses!!! And then the actual Wattpad happens!
"THE DUMB MEETS THE DUMBER...THE FOOL MEETS THE CLOWN...THE MONSTER MEETS DISASTER."
"Who is this Red-Brown haired guy, Puppers?" Lean tilts his head at Ray. I can already feel the two chaos brains connecting via Bluetooth.
"I am Raymond Millers!! You can call me Ray!! I am very excited to meet you!! I am Dom's wingmanâ *angry wolf noises*âagh! Best friend!! How is the set up!! How is your man looking!! I dressed him up!!! It was all my plan!!" He grabs Lean's hand and shakes it like a see-saw.
"OMD!! So⌠so you made him do this!! Holy hell!! He looks gorgeous!! You did an amazing job!!! I'm glad to meet you too!!" Now they're doing some weird handshake ritual like they've known each other for years.
"Ok!! Ok!! You liked his cologne!! It's imported from France!! My dad got it, I gave it to him!" Ray puffs proudly.
"Oh yes!! I know this smell!! I had many of them back in my home!!" Lean squeaks.
"Really dude!!! Your dad's some business man?" RAY makes that signature eyebrow raise.
"Yes, got a chain of restaurants and hotels by the name 'Count & Family.'"
"Oh!! My daddy is a business man too! He got this brand of clothing! Miller& Sons!"
"My fangs!! My whole family had your limited edition clothing!!"
"Really!! We can do a business collab then after everything patches up!!"
"Hell yeah!! We'll be the greatest partners!! We will dominate the world!!"
Spoiled rich brats.
I swear to god, I just lost my date!
Agh!
Vampire to my idiot best friend
agh!
Dude who talks to me.
They're bonding over daddy's money like two stock brokers on Red Bull. Meanwhile, I'm the broke wolf stuck holding the bouquet. Kill me.
"Hello? PUPPERS standing right here. Near Seven-Foot wolf, tragically single, just shaved for this occasionâringing any bells? No? Cool. Yeah, go ahead and plan your billionaire bromance while I contemplate jumping into traffic."
I got ignored!
"Dude, I can't even tell you how big a fan I am of vampires!! I'm so screwed to meet you I can have a literal heart attack! I've got a whole bookshelf of books about you guys!! Coolest, hottest monsters of all!! And fuck!!! Your skinâit's so cold and whiteee!!"
Ray is literally kicking the ground like a five-year-old who just spotted Santa in a supermarket.
Lean blinks. "You⌠you know I'm a vampire? Did Puppers tell you?!"
He looks at me. I give the smallest, most regretful nod of my life.
"Yup!! Well, he didn't want to, but I forced him!!" Ray beams like he's proud of blackmail.
"So you know that he is too aâ"
"Werewolf!! Yup! I was the first to know! That wild dog wrecked a farm on his first full moon, whole town chasing him with guns, and he just happens to cross me! And I'd just broken up with my ex boyfriend, I was crying in the road, and this HUGE WOLF THING lunges at me! I was terrified and he's likeâ 'RAY, IT'S ME, DOM! GET MY ASS OUT OF HERE OR I'LL BITE YOUR HEAD OFF!!' And then I dragged his dumbass into my garage for the night!!"
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM THAT, MILLERS?!
"Fangs, the grump got his ass almost busted!!" Lean gasps. "And⌠and you're a man-kisser too!!"
MORE CHAOS.
"Both! I'm bi, actually!"
You're a donkey, actually, Millers.
"OMD, I got a bi friend!! I'm gay!! We can be queer besties!!"
KILL ME LORD.
"Oh yass gurl!! We can stalk hot celebrity daddies together!!"
WHAT THE FUCK.
"Hell yes!! Mine is Henry Cavill. What's yours?"
Vamps, I'm putting garlic in your bread.
"OH MY GOD SAME!! We're twins I guess!!"
"Bro!!"
"Yes broo!!"
And now the maniacs are hugging and jumping like two five-year-old girlies, forming some kind of rainbow-bond while I stand here like the world's ugliest third wheel.
"I'll tell you all Dom's secrets," Ray announces.
MILLERS, I WILL KILL YOU.
"Yes!! Definitely, I need some instructions on handling a wild dog!!"
Vamps, no!! I'm not a DOG!!
"Yeah, he's got an ass attitude!"
"Yup!! We can totally ignore him and have kitty parties!!"
"I'll never say no!!"
"I can hear you two fucking idiots!!" I growl, ears on fire.
"You know, bro! That questionable 'STRAIGHT' dude just told me he's gonna have a movie night with some random vampire I found on the street!"
âŚYeah. Lean is staring at me like he's about to snap my head off. Millers, if you don't shut up, I will bite your ass so hard you'll need 20 shots of anti-rabies.
"I was likeâit's a date! And he blushed like a romantic fool! But he didn't admit it! Bro's such a noob in love, he doesn't even know he's in love!! All he understands about romance is hookups. So I took the responsibility to set this up!"
Why the fuck are you so proud, Millers? You're stealing my damn show.
"Oh, poor mutt," Lean sighs, smirking. "But also⌠a male whore."
Fuck you too, Vamps.
"Yup, that's what I like to call him," Ray grins.
"But he prefers 'fuckboy' 'cause it sounds cooler. Still, I can assure youâunder all that lusty, brooding crap, he's got a heart of marshmallow. Dude once emptied his account to help a poor woman and her kid. Turned out they were scammers. Next day, his mom whooped his ass and I had to pay his bills for a month! But stillâme, I feel lucky to have him. He can be a little growly, but he's a pup at heart. You can't even imagine, dudeâhe took three whole hours just telling me about his daily life with you. He's smitten for you!"
âŚOkay. Ray. You might actually survive tonight.
"Aww!! You gotta be the best buddy this Grumpkenstein could get!" Lean squeals. "I miss my gurl, my best buddy too!!"
Are we about to cry now? Should I grab tissues?
Ray hugs him, patting his back like they're in some sad drama. "It's okay, bro! We'll be friends too! We'll tag-team this mutt together. I know you can keep him happy. Just⌠never break his heart, alright? He's got some serious traumas and if I told you, I'd be dead before midnight."
"Thank you, Gurl!!" Lean beams, teary-eyed. "It's like I'm getting my fam back after a long time!!"
And thenâoh godâRay holds him at arm's length, staring into his eyes.
"Hey, Vamps⌠if you don't mind⌠can IâŚ" He stammers.
"See my fangs? Sure!!" Lean grins knowingly. "How'd I know? Well, I can read minds a little. Not muchâbut enough to know. Though trust me, I can't make sense of a single fuck that goes on in that wolf's thick skull!"
Are you two competing in the Olympics of Roasting Me?!
Lean slides his fangs out slow, gleaming in the light like a goddamn Rolls Royce hood ornament. He grins proudly like he just won Miss Universe.
"Omg!! So shiny!! So pointy!! Can I touch them?! Pleaseees!" Ray gasps.
"Sure, go ahead! Just don't stab your finger or all your blood will get sucked in a second. I don't wanna lose my new bestie!!"
And this idiotâthis actual grown manâgrabs Lean's fangs like he just discovered the Philosopher's Stone. (Yeah, okay, I was a Potterhead. Sue me.)
"I can turn into a bat too!!!" Lean squeaks.
Ray's green eyes light up like he just found the P-spot in his ass.
"Really!!!!! Yessssssss!!!!!"
Nope. Not happening. People are already batting their eyes, and if Lean actually does a Power Ranger vampire transformation in the middle of Main Street, the next headline will be: 'Burn the vampire! Burn the vampire!'
So I snap. Hard. I grab Lean by the back of his jacket and bark, "I guess we're getting late! The movie's about to start! AND weren't you about to go on a coffee date with Linda at 8? I'm sure she won't like waiting, Ray!" I gave a murderous smile, definitely Vamps didn't saw it!
His face turns blue.
"Fuckâshe's gonna kill me!!! Vamps, see you later!! If you need me just call me!!" And the idiot bolts down the road like his ass is on fire.
Finally. Peace.
"Here. Take it." I shove the bouquet of blue roses straight into Lean's face.
His eyes sparkle like he just witnessed divine intervention. "DEVILS! PUPPERS, YOU GOT BLUE ROSES FOR ME?! YOU REMEMBERED!!!!"
He's about to climb me like a tree again, but this time I've got a hold on him.
"Yeah, yeah. Cool, right? You like them."
"Like them?! I love them!! Thank you, Puppers!! I love you!!! Mhuaa!!"
Andâyeah. He manages to land a kiss on my cheek.
It's good it's dark and snowing, because no way in hell am I letting him see how red my face just got.
"Ok! Ok! Let's go," I mutter, trying to play it cool.
"So what movie are we gonna watch??"
"Get there and see for yourself."
We walk down the snowy, dim-lit street, his hand clutching mine while he babbles nonstop about everything under the moon.
Ugh. This was a disaster.
Well⌠not that bad, either.
Not that I'd admit it.
StillâRay bought the damn tickets and shoved down my pocket. If it's something stupid, I swear I'll bury that bastard and pee on his grave while howling at the moon.
And me?
âŚStop blushing, Dom. He's just holding your hand. JUST. HOLDING.
Oh, here we goâthe theater, neon lights glowing right through the snow. And, hell yeah, we're twinning. Looking like some dumb teen couple in matching fits. Not that I totally hate it. Guess Ray's got an eye for this crap.