I'm dying.
Or at least I think I'm dying. That's what usually happens when you get struck in the back by a meteorite right? The previous warm feeling spreading through my body slowly fades away, and I begin feeling increasingly uncomfortable.
My vision doesn't fade to white or fill with light. It just... stops. Complete and utter darkness, like someone flipped the off switch for my eyes. I try to blink, to move, to do anything, but I can't feel my body. Can't feel anything physical at all.
Panic starts to claw at my chest, or at least, where my chest should be.
But then I sense something. Not with my eyes, not with any sense I can name, but with something deeper. Something primal that bypasses normal human perception entirely.
I'm… somewhere else.
The knowledge hits me with absolute certainty. This… place, wherever I am, is vast beyond comprehension. Ancient beyond measure. The air itself (if there even is air here) thrums with power so immense it makes my non-existent bones want to rattle. This is a place where mortals aren't meant to tread. Where the laws of reality bend and break like cheap plastic. Every instinct I have screams that I'm an insect that's somehow wandered into a cathedral built for gods.
And then I feel it.
A presence. No… presences, plural. Malevolent things circling in the darkness like sharks drawn to blood in the water. I can't see them, but I can feel their wrongness radiating through whatever passes for space here. They're hateful. Hungry. Ancient and terrible and wrong in a way that makes my mind want to shut down rather than process what it's experiencing.
Then fear hits me like a freight train.
It's not the normal kind of fear. This is existential terror on a level I didn't know was possible. The kind of fear that makes you understand, on a cellular level, that you are nothing. That you are prey. That whatever is out there in the darkness could unmake you with a thought, and the universe wouldn't even notice you were gone.
My mind starts to fracture. I can feel it happening, feel myself breaking apart like glass under pressure. A scream builds in a throat that doesn't exist, tears pool behind eyes that can't see. I'm going to shatter. I'm going to lose myself completely in this howling void of terror and wrongness and—
"Be calm, child."
The voice cuts through the darkness like sunlight breaking through storm clouds.
It's a woman's voice, and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. No, beautiful is too tame a description. Beautiful is inadequate, a pale shadow of what this actually is. Her voice is warm like summer mornings, gentle like rain on leaves, soothing like a mother's lullaby. Each syllable: a note in the most perfect song ever composed.
She isn't singing. She's just speaking. But somehow it sounds like music anyway, like every beautiful melody that's ever been written was just a rough approximation of this. Like orchestras and operas and every love song ever crooned was humanity's clumsy attempt to recreate an echo of this voice.
"Hold hope close to your heart. Live boldly, live freely, and become all that you wish to be."
The words wash over me like a wave, and suddenly the fear is just... gone. Not suppressed or pushed down, but actually dissolved, like it never existed in the first place. The malevolent presences I felt, they're still there, I think, but they feel distant now. Irrelevant. Like I'm behind a wall of divine protection they can't hope to breach.
Peace floods through me. Safety. Hope.
And then I'm back.
I'm lying on the grassy field, gasping like I just ran a marathon. My body feels heavy and real and wonderfully, blessedly there. I can see again, the darkening sky above me, the grass beneath my fingers, the ordinary, beautiful, mundane world.
"What the hell was that?" I mutter, peeling myself off the ground, my entire body drenched in sweat. I check my phone with shaking hands, expecting to see I've been unconscious for hours. Maybe days. With my luck, probably years, and I've missed all my college applications.
7:05 PM.
A minute. I've just been out a singular minute.
"Right, because that's the weird part of this situation," I tell myself, standing up and dusting off my jeans. My legs are shaky, like I've just lived through the worst nightmare of my life. Which, honestly, is the truth. "Not the eldritch horror dimension or the goddess voice or the—"
A textbox appears in my vision.
An actual, honest-to-god textbox. Like someone copy-pasted a dialogue box from a JRPG directly into my retinas.
"Hello, Adam! Change is possible for anyone."
I blink. The textbox is still there. I rub my eyes hard enough to see stars. Still there.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."
The textbox fades, replaced by something that makes my brain short-circuit:
Adam Gray
Age: 18 | Height: 5'2"
Dick Size: 3.5 inches (flaccid), 5 inches (erect)
Current Occupation: Student
Attributes
Appearance: 3
Charm: 3
Strength: 4
Dexterity: 5
Endurance: 3
Willpower: 20
Intelligence: 26
Active Skills
N/A
Passive Skills
Expert Programmer
Perks
Genius Intellect
"What in the world! No way... no fucking way! I'm getting a system?"
I can't tell if I'm going crazy, but even if I am, at least my delusions have a user-friendly interface. There are four tabs I can access: Stats, Quest Log, System Shop, and System Upgrade.
I tap System Upgrade first because, obviously, that sounds the most important. It cheerfully informs me that I need 1 Divine Power to proceed. My current Divine Power balance? A big fat zero.
"Noted," I say to myself, switching to the System Shop instead.
And then my jaw drops.
The shop is... extensive. Like, "online retailers wish they had this selection" extensive. Everything from Enlarge Penis 1 Inch (10 Points) to Enhance Workout Effectiveness +10% (10 Points) to Increase Height 1 Inch (10 Points) to skills I wouldn't even consider: Pheromone Release (100 Points), can humans even manually control that? Or Enhance Virility (100 Points), yeah, thanks, but no thanks. I'm not ready for that level of responsibility yet.
"Enlarge penis is really the first option?" I say to no one in particular. "What kind of priority system is this running on?"
Current Evolution Points: 0
Of course.
Trying not to feel too disappointed (who am I kidding, I'm devastated), I switch to the Quest Log, hoping for something achievable. Maybe 'Breathe for five seconds' or 'Successfully exist.'
Available Quests:
Acne Begone! Get a skincare routine! - [1 Evolution Point]
Start Working Out. Any progress is good progress! - [1 Evolution Point]
Be an Active Participant in Class! - [3 Evolution Points]
Make a Friend! Reach out and make your first friend at school! (Sisters don't count!) - [5 Evolution Points]
Find a Part-Time Job! Must be service-related! (One month minimum) - [10 Evolution Points]
I stare at the quest list. Then I stare some more.
"A skincare routine? Working out? Making friends?" I read aloud, incredulous. "After going through that eldritch nightmare, these are the quests I'm getting? What is this? A self-help book disguised as a system?"
The system remains silent, which I take as confirmation that yes, I've basically been given a gamified life coach by a mysterious goddess who saved me from... whatever the hell that was.
Or, maybe those malevolent creatures decided to give me a poisoned apple disguised as a system.
Well, it's not like I'm going to let go of this chance regardless. I'll use this system as long as it benefits me.
"Service job for ten points though..." I think about it. "That's enough for one upgrade. One terrible, soul-crushing month of 'Would you like fries with that?' and I could be an inch taller. Or have a bigger—"
I cut that thought off. Priorities, Adam. Priorities.
Standing here on the sidewalk, with the evening getting cooler and my sweat-soaked shirt clinging uncomfortably to my pudgy frame, I can't help but laugh. It's a shaky laugh, still tinged with the aftershocks of that terror I felt, but it's genuine. I was asking the heavens for a chance to change, and it literally dropped this opportunity onto my lap. Along with a near-death experience and what I'm pretty sure was a glimpse into some cosmic horror dimension, but hey, I'll take what I can get.
"Alright, mysterious goddess or whatever you are," I say to the empty air, my voice still a bit unsteady. "You want me to become a better person through the power of quests and a powerful reward system? Fine."
The quest log blinks innocently at me.