-The live broadcast starts in 60 seconds! 59, 58....
I clench and unclench my hands in nervousness.
Looking around, I see a bright home shopping broadcast studio.
And a countdown clock.
10:00
It will start ticking down once the broadcast begins.
A home shopping survival show where your life depends on how much you can sell within the given 10 minutes.
'To think I'd end up doing something this crazy.'
But let's calm down.
'It's okay if I die.'
I repeat it to myself. It's not dangerous, it's not dangerous....
It'll just become a nonsensical dream. No, rather, if I die, I'll wake up cleanly from the dream, which is even better.
I looked to my side.
My eyes met with my companions standing in the other studios.
'Right.'
As long as one of us makes it to the end, we can use the prize money to shop for Items.
I inwardly nodded, recalling the 'shopping shortcut' I had devised.
'As long as one of us survives.'
-3, 2, 1....
I looked at the camera.
-Action!
The light turned on.
"Hello! I'm today's one-day show host, Number 4, 'Friend of Talk Shows.' It's a pleasure to be here."
And then....
Real-time reactions started scrolling on the prompter next to the camera.
"...!"
-?what are they selling here?
-saltredbeansaltredbeansaltredbeansaltredbean
-die
-wtf is this lol it's like a ghost story
-Hello
-let's be togetherlooks good
Where is this being broadcast?
A chill ran down my spine as I read the occasional strange chat message, but I didn't let it show and smiled brightly.
"The product that I, Number 4, will be selling today on Delusion Home Shopping is...."
I thought for a moment.
'There's a chance ordinary people might buy this.'
Something I could sell off quickly, without posing a fatal risk to people if possible.
I took out a rectangular box from under the desk and placed it on top.
Looking like a miniature version of a gray shipping container, it had an extremely crude and alien design.
"It's the 'Into the Vacuum' series from the Samramansang[1] Company!"
-Huh?
-this guy just said some otaku-like shit
-what is he saying
I knew this would happen....
'But this was the right answer among the given choices.'
What is this thing...?
Into the Vacuum
A funeral item packaged with a bizarre advertising strip that reads, 'Can safely transport the important body parts of a deceased general.'
It seems to have been developed for the purpose of safely transporting the remaining parts of a high-ranking officer's corpse during long-distance space travel.
It is sometimes found already used and filled. The creature inside has been identified as ■■■■■■.
...I know.
They must be thinking, 'He's going to sell... space war funeral supplies?'
In fact, it seemed to have been left unsold for a long time even on the home shopping network, as dust had piled up on the stock in the warehouse.
But still.
What's always important is the selling point.
I seriously lifted the container, held it up to the camera, and said.
"Everyone. If I may say so myself... this is a legendary airtight container."
-What?
-get trapped and die
-what's he on about
"You'll be shocked! Just put something inside and seal it...."
I opened and closed the container with a thak, thak sound.
"All the food that needs to be refrigerated can be stored at room temperature!"
-???
"And that's not all. The expiration date is dramatically extended! If you put a freshly caught fish in here, even after a month, it will be just as fresh as the day it was caught! You can even enjoy it as sashimi!"
-Crazy
That's right.
I'm going to sell it as a kitchen utensil...!
"This is a product that will literally change the paradigm of your kitchen!"
I started running my mouth like a madman.
You know that buying in bulk is better quality and cheaper, but you gave up because you weren't confident you could eat it all in time? Just buy this container.
You wanted to savor an expensive, high-quality ingredient on special occasions, but couldn't because you were afraid it would spoil? Just buy this container.
You wanted to keep a dish made by a precious person who passed away for a long, long time, but had to throw it away because it went bad? This container solves that!
"And that's not all!"
And then, I pause for a beat.
"Originally... this is an incredibly high-end product that costs over two million won. But one, two, three... a whopping four of them."[2]
I said with a serious tone.
"For this broadcast only, we're offering this entire set for the low price of 530,000 won!"
-Oh
-Expensive!
-but tbh it seems like it would cost that much
-is it coated in gold?
-pleasesavemeimtrappedinhere
-no seriously what is this place? what are you selling is this scientifically possible?
-good child
-it's expensive but I'm interested
"Everyone, this is the price of a single hairdryer. A market leader, an item with patented technology, a product that changes your quality of life-it can't be cheaper than this."
I said earnestly.
"We were only able to sell it at this price by urgently securing our stock. I'm serious."
-no but really if it stops expiration dates then that price seems like a steal
-so cool
-iwanttobeinhumanstorage
-placing an order now
"A full free return period is also included! Just try it once! If it really doesn't have these magical effects like 'stopping expiration dates' and 'room temperature storage,' you can comfortably return it!"
I shouted at the top of my lungs.
[My friend.... Oh, dear.]
...This is embarrassing.
So embarrassing...!
But my eyes, glancing at the real-time stock count next to the prompter, were honest.
'Yes!!'
The remaining stock was steadily decreasing. And a moment later.
"Sold out! Thank you. All the units we prepared for today are gone." I was able to end the broadcast with a bow.
01:45
'Hoo.'
I did it.
-Number 4! Braun... no, 'Friend of Talk Shows' show host!
-Ooh, we have a sellout in the very first round. All units sold! An incredible achievement!
-Unfortunately, his sales rank settled at 3rd place. That's the limit of choosing a low-priced product.
-Still, a high rank! The comet of the lowest price!
I suppressed a sigh as I looked at my ranking, glittering in 2nd place.
'It would be better if I were the one to last until the end.'
And... sadly, last place was…
-Number 2! The 'Hawkeye' show host is immediately eliminated!
"Well, can't be helped."
Deputy Manager Eun Haje shrugged.
She had tried to sell the 'Sleep Gambling Snuff,' which lets you stay awake for three days but knocks you out on the fourth, and ran into numerous difficulties....
'A home shopping show host... it really doesn't suit you....'
Still, I thought Manager Lee Jaheon would be the first to be eliminated.
Turns out his bizarre design sense and insane physical strength combined to create a strange kind of buzz, and he finished in 1st place.
"Everyone, I'll be going first."
-The eliminated contestant is... huh?
And before the main show host could move.
Deputy Manager Eun Haje, who had given us a slight wave, collapsed cleanly.
She had quickly taken the Euthanasia Drug.
-...The shock of elimination must have been truly great.
-It's unfortunate, but if you can only sell this much of an all-time special offer product, elimination is what you get! Oof, it brings tears to my eyes to think I've taken away your chance to buy!
The body of the collapsed Eun Haje is quickly cleared away from the studio.
...An unsettling and uncomfortable feeling washed over me, but I reminded myself that Deputy Manager Eun Haje was already out of here and continued to watch the camera.
-With that, we conclude Round 1 of this special simultaneous sale discount home shopping battle! Thank you for your great support!
And the round ended.
"..."
As the staff came in to clean up the studio and the main show host of Delusion Home Shopping was talking to them about something, I tried to quickly communicate with my remaining companions.
But.
-Get this out of here.
The moment the show host pointed a finger at Deputy Manager Eun Haje's corpse, I reflexively spoke politely.
"Ah, shall I go move it?"
I have to move her to a safe place....
-My, my, Braun's friend. There's no need for that when we have contract workers to do such things!
-Now, get up.
...Right now.
Why…
is the corpse moving?
-Go over there and wait.
Eun Haje's corpse raises itself. No, it's not just a corpse moving....
It has an expression.
A deathly pale face.
Deputy Manager Eun Haje, with a bewildered expression, moved her body as if it were creaking and looked at me, but soon moved on.
Dragging her dead body.
I watched the chilling, bizarre situation, frozen in horror....
-We have to recycle them during the survival show, at least. We need to get interviews, too.
What?
"Isn't she... dead?"
-Right, we keep using her while she's dead. The Delusion Home Shopping studio is quite fond of rational cost-cutting!
-The broadcast fees for this place are expensive, but things like this work out well! Is it because it's an isolated place? Anyway, let's make good use of her until her limbs rot and fall off!
Wait,
Wait... wait a minute.
I finally realized why Agent Bronze's corpse had been left behind.
In Segwang Metropolitan City, the corpses we left behind when we died before were usually gone when we re-entered. I thought they might have disappeared right away, or perhaps vanished for some other reason.
But that wasn't it.
What should have normally disappeared was, this time, left behind.
'She couldn't leave.'
So....
'You can't get out even if you die?'
-The insurance commercial is ending. Get them in, quick!
I turned my head.
Another figure was entering the home shopping studio we had just been in. Faces powdered white, smiling with an eerie unnaturalness.
Neat attire, styled hair.
They had the appearance of typical show hosts.
The bizarre beings belonging to the Delusion Home Shopping ghost story.
-Now, from Number 6 to Number 10. Everyone, let me introduce you! This is the next group for the Delusion Home Shopping survival show!
'No.'
But I realize.
They aren't residents of this ghost story.
They're people from Segwang Metropolitan City.
Citizens who came to do a short-term part-time job at this Delusion Home Shopping, signed the wrong contract, and went missing. The 'usable ones' were being continuously used by Delusion Home Shopping.
Whether they were dead or not, continuously. Literally, souls bound to show business.
And then I realize something else.
-When this broadcast ends, we will select 4 people from the 10 prospective show hosts! Excluding the two eliminated for being in last place, four more will be eliminated.
-And those four will each host the glorious final home shopping show! The lowest prices, a once-in-a-lifetime set, and special free gifts!
-Stay tuned! It's Delusion Home Shopping's Black Friday!
'There were more participants.'
I feel the blood drain from my face.
'The winner might not be one of us...!'
If those people win, it's over.
We'll all be eliminated, bound to this place without receiving anything, and end up in the same situation.
Arguing that it was a daily contract and they should let us go now that the day is over won't work.
We'll be frozen in our 'employment status.' Because we're the dead.
"..."
"What are we going to do about this."
Baek Saheon, who had come up next to me, whispered while breaking out in a cold sweat, looking like he was about to grab me by the collar.
"Looking at this, we can't escape even if we die. Why did you make us sign a contract...!"
"..."
"There's no way to guarantee we'll get 1st place!"
I turned to look at Baek Saheon.
Baek Saheon glared at me, clenching his teeth, and I reached out my hand....
"Thank you."
"...??"
And patted his shoulder.
"Mr. Roe Deer. Shall we try to break out of the station now?"
"...No. It's too dangerous."
If we get caught doing that, they might charge us an enormous sum, saying we 'ruined the home shopping show.'
"There is a way to get 1st place, so please wait. I'm begging you."
"Um... okay."
[Mr. Roe Deer.... My friend has to play the role of a cheap hawker who sells best to the audience in this vulgar and messy advertising program. Oh, how could this be.]
[You seem to be in need of help.]
That's right.
I really did need help.
[Oh, then....]
So I decided to procure that help myself. [Hmm?]
I placed a hand on my chest.
It just occurred to me.
'A way to guarantee 1st place.'
Beneath the cloth, I can feel the throbbing pulse on my skin... and the lines of the tattoo.
One area that has been feeling a dynamic sensation ever since we encountered this broadcast station ghost story.
I took out one of the Contaminations I had stored in the tattoo, pressing down hard.
[1] All things
[2] I’m guessing he’s saying that the price can go up to 4 million?