In an unknown world (or rather, known to all), in a country called Japan, a man can be seen lying peacefully, when suddenly
*Ring, Ring*
*Slowly opens eyes*
*Ring, Ring*
"Hello... *yawn* ...who am I talking to?"
"Your mother, motherfucker! Who else but me, you son of a bitch!?
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! Today was the fucking Marvel event, you son of a bitch!"
*Instantly opens eyes in alarm*
"OH SHIT! WAS IT TODAY?!"
*proceeds to run to get the clothes from their hiding place*
"Shit, shit, SHIT, SHIT!
WAIT FOR ME OVER THERE, I'LL RUN NOW, DON'T FORGET TO SAVE MY SPOT IN LINE"
"You better not be late! I don't plan on waiting for you forever, asshole"
*click*
Yep, that's me, nice to meet you. You can call me Oswald, or you can also just call me "The Crazy One" like my friends usually call me.
"MOM! WHERE'S THE SHAMPOO?!"
*shouting from downstairs* "I'D LIKE TO KNOW THAT SAME THING, YOU MADE HIM DISAPPEAR YESTERDAY"
"THANKS FOR TELLING ME!!"
I'm a 15-year-old boy who suffers from a minor mental condition called mild paranoia. Although it's not severe, given that I can still lead a normal life, it leads me to do some pretty stupid things from time to time.
"AAAAAHHH! *sound of impact on the floor* WHO THE FUCK LEFT MY GUN ON THE FLOOR?"
*yells from the kitchen* "I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY THAT YOUR BROTHER FOUND IT AND TOOK IT FROM YOUR HIDING PLACE."
"FUCK, HE FOUND IT! Well, it's too late to find a new position. I was planning on carrying it anyway."
*proceeds to put it in his backpack*
such as smuggling a perfectly functional weapon, hiding explosives in my school, almost murdering my gym teacher (I thought he wanted to kill me), and not to forget the time when the military carried out a raid just because I tried to cause a terrorist attack, believing my foreign companion was Iraqi.
Not to mention the fact that I took classes in fighting, shooting, counterintelligence (I still can't prove the FBI has its eye on me, but I'm sure of it), and psychology (ironic, I know).
Sadly (or luckily), that led me to not have many friends, given that the minimum requirement for me to recognize them as such is that they give me a report about their entire lives.
And as such, I have two friends. One is Brayan, a guy who I can assure you has the makings of a drug addict with no future who would kill anyone for money (I like that last part about him).
And Michael, a comic book and anime fanatic who is incredibly good with technology. Ironically, he was the one who invited me to the Marvel event just because he didn't want to be alone there.
Ironically, despite him being the fan, I ended up learning more about the Marvel universe because I didn't believe in it. I was under the impression that a comic was more of a way to make people stupid, and surprisingly, I was right.
*runs through the streets to a bus stop*
But hey, luckily for the world, my paranoia isn't that severe. Otherwise, I would have considered humanity my enemy because of how stupid it is, and then no one would stop me from being a genocidal maniac.
*gets on the bus*
I just have to hope I managed to arrives on time for the event, otherwise I'll have to reward him by giving him a collector's edition comic... again.
"AAAAAHHHH"
"BE CAREFUL"
"WE ARE GOING TO DIE"
*a bus tire explodes*
!!!!, SHIT! The driver lost control of the bus! HOLY CRAP!. Is this how I'm going to die?! I'll have to use emergency plan D!
*takes a switch out of his pocket and presses it*
*three simultaneous explosions are heard*
Good! It worked! Heh, and they said I'd never dare kill anyone, but right in their faces! I not only blew up my house, but my school and the internet company's computers.
Now try to find me, bitches. In fact, I'll see you in hell, motherfuckers.
*The bus is heard colliding with a truck carrying gas, everything exploding shortly after*