They looked calm.
Whatever I was about to experience, they had already prepared for it.
The indifference in their gazes threatened my nervous system.
"This is a group game," the blonde woman suddenly began to speak. "The most enjoyable game to play together with the apparatus." Rolling her eyes, she glanced at the hologram to her left. "In fact, the apparatus's favorite game."
As if tired of her talking any further, the group leader cut in. "Some words will appear on the screen. It's enough for you to look at them. After that, everything will resolve itself."
I was about to open my mouth and ask something, but my lips closed on their own.
I was expecting more explanation when a cloud of mist formed over the ramparts. When I lifted my head, the piece of sky that should have been visible was replaced by a blurred image. The mist calmly advanced toward the center of the walls.
The tasks on the screen suddenly disappeared into darkness.
When even my name vanished, I felt as if I didn't exist in the world.
As if I had never existed at all…
"Please prepare! Fix your eyes on the holo-screen. The countdown will begin shortly!" The robotic voice echoed between the thick walls and struck my ears. My knees trembled. The last time I had felt this sensation was in exam halls, when I was very young. And after that, I had never truly been young again. Now, once more, in a place where I didn't belong, inside a game I knew nothing about, I was living the same fate.
The group left random distances between one another. They fixed their eyes on the screen in a way that allowed them to see clearly. With the anxiety knotting in my stomach, I imitated them.
"10…" My breath grew heavy in my lungs.
"9…" Time was no longer a toy.
"8…" Everything was gradually shrinking, my life losing its value.
"7…" Within that soulless voice lay the thing that would determine my fate.
I barely heard the numbers in between. Until… "1…"
My heart was about to burst out of my ribcage. "Please fix your eyes on the screen."
At that moment, everything stopped.
On the blue holo-screen, complex numbers flashed by. It was a spectacle of letters flowing downward. A word appeared in large, bold letters:
"DEATH"
I stared at the screen with a tightness in my chest. It felt as if the skin under my eyes was swollen with pain, as if there was an ache at the bridge of my nose.
One of the group members' fear-filled eyes found mine.
The ground beneath my feet felt unsafe.
The same robotic voice rang out again: "4 names have remained outside the groupings."
Groupings?
What purpose did they even serve?
I didn't understand the logic of the game in the slightest.
Even the group leader was tense.
After everything he had told me, sharing in his fear unsettled me. It was a sign of seriousness.
Four names suddenly appeared on the screen:
[Aysal, Sis, Cansu, Mert]
I covered my mouth with my hand. I don't know what I understood from it, but I was deeply worried.
Sis's bright eyes were also fixed on that spot. Her mind was searching for a solution, for logic, somewhere. I was sure of it. Who wouldn't want that?
The group leader looked at those standing behind him, his expression hardening.
Before long, from within that group emerged a woman around my age with disheveled hair, and a man whose hesitation was written all over his face. I matched both names to their faces.
The other members had stepped aside and were whispering among themselves.
Was the game… over?
No sooner had I asked this than the robotic voice intervened.
"The following names must take their places in front of the screen!"
Cansu approached me trembling, with sunken under-eyes and thinning hair. I wanted to ask questions, to learn something, but it wasn't the time. The man called Mert moved closer to Sis, stroking his beard with his hands. Despite his youthful appearance, his under-eye bags were swollen too, his body looking scrawny. Then again, everyone here was more or less scrawny.
When the countdown began again with "3," I took a deep breath. "2 and 1."
Another word appeared on the screen:
"LIFE"
All four of us clenched our fists.
Cansu and Mert must have known more than Sis and I did. But now, sealing their lips, they had fallen silent and submitted to this unfamiliar fate.
In fractions of a second, I tried to understand where the word life touched me.
What did I feel in the face of this word?
More importantly… did I want to live?
The word on the screen faded. The apparatus spoke: "Double equality. The word is being renewed…"
I widened my eyes and kept my fists clenched. My nails were digging hard into my palms, and it hurt.
Another word appeared: "FOOD"
I suddenly remembered how hungry I was. The word disappeared a few seconds later. I released the breath I had been holding. Even my kneecaps were trembling from the excitement.
A single name appeared on the screen:
"Incompatible personality: Cansu."
A heavy silence fell.
Cansu and Mert looked so collapsed that they merely looked at each other as if they had accepted everything.
I noticed there was more closeness between them than what was visible from the outside.
They looked at each other with rich emotions, beyond everything else.
As I swallowed with goosebumps all over my body, Cansu's face turned pale. A violent sound spread. The ground suddenly split open. Instinctively, I pulled my head between my arms. My eyes shut tight. My entire body was shaking uncontrollably. When my arms loosened, a pale, merciless scene appeared before my eyes. Cansu's scream lingered in my ears. This was not the first time I had witnessed a death, nor would it be the last.
The only thing I remember is Mert collapsing to the ground, staring at it with an empty gaze.