"It's Kamui Woods!!"
Suddenly, that's what I heard.
I followed the voice and looked up to see a ridiculously huge lizard-man and some guy in tights sprouting what looked like wood from his hands.
I figured the "Kamui Woods" guy was a Pro Hero, and the lizard-man was probably the criminal.
I seriously wish they wouldn't rampage in front of the station during this goddamn busy morning. I genuinely wanted both of them to just get lost.
And I? I'm just a lovely and demure middle school girl.
Last name Midoriya, first name Futako.
Just your average, everyday, "Quirk"-wielding, nice-bodied, ponytail-wearing, super-dreadnought-class beautiful girl.
As I was spacing out and watching, an old guy nearby called out to me. "Oh! Hey, little lady! You're sure watching intently!"
"Huh? No, not really."
"Don't hide it, don't hide it! I can tell! You wanna be a hero too, right? I'm rooting for ya!"
"Haaah."
I couldn't care less about this geezer convincing himself, but that "hero-hopeful" comment was something I couldn't let slide. It was beyond insulting.
Because I have never, not even for a single moment, admired heroes.
In this superhuman age, I'm sure someone like me is in the minority.
Most kids probably see videos of heroes in action and start admiring them.
But I was different.
The first time I ever saw a hero, it was a rescue video of the current Number One Hero... whatever-his-name-was. I still remember how it just creeped me out.
His actions, charging straight into a collapsing building... I felt it was pure madness. I was genuinely terrified, thinking this is not normal. I mean, that's supposed to be scary, right? Rushing into a place where you could die. If you get hurt, it hurts. That's just a fact. I just thought, this guy's nuts.
What bothered me even more was the smile on that hero's face. That was what was really disgusting. It was probably one of those "reassure everyone by smiling" things, but... even accounting for that, I just couldn't stomach it. Nope.
I'm thankful to my parents, who raised a cynical kid like me without finding me creepy.
Aside from my mom's laziness, which makes her fatter by the year, and my tiny allowance, I truly think they're great parents.
Alright, I'll go massage Mom's belly later to help her slim down. Dad... he'll be fine. I'll just sweet-talk him a bit; that's his reward. Even if it's just a dirty trick to squeeze some money out of his already-small allowance.
While I was thinking about that, some huge broad finished the incident by landing a flying kick on the lizard-man.
Sounded like she was a rookie. Her tits were a wonderland, so I bet she'll be popular.
Just as I thought that, a bunch of guys who looked like total otaku started taking pictures, saying how "insane" she was. Creepy.
Thanks to the villain, the train was delayed. I now had the ultimate weapon of an excuse, but apparently, skipping all the way to third period was unforgivable, and it was decided I'd have to write a mountain of apology essays after school. I tried to argue, but it was confirmed I'd have to write ten whole essays.
As payback, I ate my childhood friend's lunch early.
I'll just say this: it was delicious.
Doing something like that would, of course, make my already short-fused childhood friend completely snap and come looking for a fight... but then again, he's the type to pick a fight even when there's no reason, so it is what it is.
"Oi!! You damn bitch!! Why the hell did you eat my lunch, aaaah!!"
"Here he comes."
I turned around to see my childhood friend, veins popping on his forehead, making a terrifying face.
His name is Katsuki Bakugo. He's my slightly crazy childhood friend, a bond I've been stuck with since kindergarten.
"I needed to blow off steam. Thanks for the meal."
"How does that give you a reason to scarf down my lunch, huh!? I'll kill you, dammit!!"
"Oh? What's this, you wanna go? C'mon, bring it. It's been a while since we had a nice chat with our fists, hasn't it? Hmm?"
"Die!!"
A high-speed fist, making good use of his Explosion Quirk.
For a normal person, it might have landed. But for me, who knows all his habits, it was a pathetic attack, slow enough for a fly to land on.
I used my mother's "Pull" Quirk to shift the punch's landing spot, and as he missed, I threw a cross-counter straight into his face.
My childhood friend, who took the fist with his face, went flying back, taking desks and chairs with him before slamming his back onto the classroom floor.
"Kyaa!"
"Uwah! Bakugo, you okay!?"
Classmates who were worried about him gathered around, so I figured they'd handle the rest and left him there.
Still, that's not like him. Bakugo has a horribly short fuse, but he never uses his Quirk for a brawl like this in public. School grounds mean they'll turn a blind eye to some extent, but since he wants to be a hero, there's no way he wouldn't be worried about getting nabbed for unauthorized Quirk use.
As I put my hand on the classroom door to go buy my own lunch, I heard another "love call" from my childhood friend: "Wait, dammit!"
I looked back, annoyed, and saw him glaring at me, legs trembling as he staggered to his feet.
Oh, my. Bakugo's pretty tough.
I stared at him, feeling that something was off, as he scrunched up his brow and spoke, annoyed.
"You! What high school did you put on your application!?"
Such an unexpected question.
For my childhood friend to care about my future plans...
Yep. Pigs are definitely going to fly tomorrow.
"Haven't decided yet. Probably somewhere local?"
"Hah!? Don't mess with me! After being able to beat me, you're gonna go flock with a bunch of weak-ass nobodies!? You're coming to U.A. too!! I'm gonna crush you completely there!!"
It seems my dear childhood friend can't stand the thought of me going to some low-tier school. His ridiculous pride is really a pain. Just leave me alone. You're just raising the competition ratio, you know? Do you even get that?
"How stupid. I'll pass."
"Hah!? Wait, dammit!!"
I tossed my shouting childhood friend to the classmates and headed to the cafeteria. I hoped they still had my beloved jam-and-margarine bread or the yakisoba bread. A menchi-katsu bun would also be acceptable.
After school, having successfully murdered the difficult foe known as "apology essays," I was heading home while snacking on some convenience store oden as a reward.
That's when I encountered a sludge-like old guy.
Oh my god.
Babbling something about "Found a good vessel," the sludge geezer approached and, of all things, splattered his bodily fluids all over my oden. On top of that, he bumped into me, causing the one and only egg I had been looking forward to to fall onto the ground.
In that instant, I resolved to become a villain in this moment and this moment only. I took a deep breath.
And as the sludge geezer leaped at me, I used my father's "Fire Breath" Quirk and incinerated him.
I say incinerated, but that was more of an emotional statement. I didn't actually burn him to nothing. It was just a single blast, enough to make him writhe in pain from the burns and pass out.
Considering the sacrifice of my egg, this was merciful.
If it were legal to kill him, I would have.
I was pouring the leftover oden broth on the fallen sludge geezer to add insult to injury when a deep voice called out.
"Young lady, might I have a moment?"
I looked over and saw a super-macho geezer. My intuition screamed: Gay.
"I'm a girl, though."
I said that, trying to avoid danger, but the macho man just tilted his head. Don't tell me he's bi.
"No, I mean the one you're pouring oden broth on. He's a villain I was chasing. Would you mind if I apprehended him?"
"Sure, whatever. I don't care... hmm?"
Wait, is this person...? "Are you the one who won the special grand prize at the 45th International Bodybuilding Championship—"
"You're mistaken! That is not me!"
Wrong person, huh. He was a macho guy just like this, though. Oh, right. That guy was bald.
"'I AM HERE.' If I say that, will you understand?"
I am here? I feel like I've heard that somewhere... or maybe not.
As I wracked my brain, he prefaced his next line with, "I always thought I was rather famous..." before saying with a grin so wide you could see all his teeth:
"All Might. That is my name, young lady."
That was the beginning of everything.
The worst story of my life, where I would be forced against my will to aim for a future as a hero.
My Hero Academia.