Cameramen are tough.
They endure 14-hour days, lug 20-pound rigs on their shoulders, and develop the reflexes of trained athletes to keep actors in frame.
But nothing—
nothing—
prepared the lead cameraman, Rick, for the ordeal known as Aria Lane in motion.
And today…
Rick nearly cried.
The Scene That Doomed Him
The setup was simple:
Aria walks across the warehouse floor.
Camera tracks her smoothly from the side.
Julian enters frame.
They exchange a line.
Easy.
Graceful.
Predictable.
Mason begged Aria beforehand:
"Please walk at a human speed.
A human one.
Human."
Aria nodded politely.
"I will."
Rick relaxed a little.
Daniel did not.
Take One
"Action!"
Aria stepped forward—
and disappeared.
Not literally.
But fast enough that the camera swung left violently, trying to catch up.
Rick yelped as his shoulder rig yanked him sideways.
"WHERE—WHERE DID SHE GO—?!"
Julian walked into frame calmly.
Rick swore under his breath.
Daniel sighed.
"Told you."
Mason screamed from behind the monitor:
"CUT! RICK, WHY IS THE SHOT EMPTY?! WHERE IS MY ACTRESS?!"
Rick pointed helplessly.
"SHE OUTRAN THE FRAME!"
Aria reappeared at the far end of the warehouse.
"I reached the mark."
Mason clutched his head.
"ARIA, YOU TELEPORTED!"
Aria blinked.
"I walked."
Everyone who saw her disagreed.
Take Two
Rick repositioned.
Deep breath.
Steady hands.
Firm stance.
"Action!"
Aria began walking again—
slowly this time.
Rick exhaled in relief.
Good.
Sustainable.
Predictable—
Aria's head snapped toward a falling prop box.
Before anyone could blink, she dashed across the room, caught the box one-handed, and set it down gently.
Rick spun so fast trying to follow her that his shoulder cracked.
"Ow—OW—SON OF A—"
Daniel winced.
"Oh yeah, that sound was bone."
The sound guy whispered,
"I caught that crack on audio."
Mason screamed:
"CUT! MISS LANE, STOP SAVING PROPS!"
Aria blinked.
"It was going to break."
"THAT'S WHAT INSURANCE IS FOR!"
Rick's Soul Leaves His Body
Rick trudged over to Mason.
His face pale.
His hands shaking slightly.
"Sir," he whispered,
"I can't film her."
Mason blinked.
"What do you mean you can't film her?!"
Rick pointed at Aria, who was calmly checking the prop box for damage.
"She moves like she's allergic to being on camera."
Julian coughed to hide a laugh.
Daniel nodded vigorously.
"FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT!"
Rick continued his monologue of despair:
"She doesn't move… she vanishes.
I follow her left—she goes right.
I follow her right—she goes UP.
I follow her up—she's suddenly behind me!"
The lighting tech nodded gravely.
"She defies geometry."
Marcus added,
"I think she phases through corners."
Aria returned to her mark, silent, unaware, eating a cracker.
Take Three (The Breaking Point)
Rick braced himself.
"Action!"
Aria started walking.
Rick moved the camera smoothly, tracking her perfectly.
Yes.
YES.
Finally—
a normal take—
Then Julian entered frame.
Aria turned to him.
Julian smiled.
Aria blinked.
Rick blinked.
Suddenly—
Aria stepped left three inches.
Only three.
Rick jolted sideways like he'd been hit by a truck.
"NOT AGAIN—AAAH—MY SHOULDER—"
The camera dipped.
Tilted.
Went blurry.
Mason screamed.
Daniel screamed.
Rick whispered:
"…I can't do this. I can't do this…"
Rick Nearly Cries
He lowered the camera, shoulders trembling.
"I'm a professional," he muttered.
"I've filmed explosions.
I've filmed stampedes.
I've filmed a man who refused to stand still because he believed his aura needed circulation."
He looked at Aria, eyes wet.
"But I can't film you.
You don't move like a person."
Aria paused mid-chew.
"…Should I move slower?"
Rick choked.
"That's what you said before you ran across the warehouse to catch a falling box!"
Julian stepped forward, gentle.
"Aria, maybe try counting your steps?"
Aria nodded politely.
"Okay."
She took three slow steps.
Rick raised the camera cautiously.
"Good… good… that's—"
Aria saw a piece of tape slightly off-center on the floor.
She bent down to fix it.
Rick screamed.
"OH COME ON!!"
The Crew Responds
Lighting Tech:
"Give him hazard pay."
Makeup Artist:
"Rick's soul is going to leave his body."
Boom Operator:
"She dodged the boom mic three times today and I wasn't even swinging it!"
Faction A (The Aria Loyalists) were delighted:
"She's too powerful for cinema!"
Faction B (The Aria Trauma Survivors) trembled:
"She's too powerful for cinema…"
Mason's Solution
Mason stomped over to Rick.
"Rick, look at me."
Rick sniffed.
"I'm trying, sir."
"You will NOT quit."
"…Okay."
"You will NOT cry."
Rick wiped his eyes.
"…Okay."
"You will film Miss Lane."
Rick looked up at Aria.
Aria waved politely.
Rick whimpered.
"…Do I have to?"
"Yes."
"But she moves like lightning."
"Yes."
"And she breaks physics."
"Yes."
"And she makes my camera shake even when she's not moving."
"Yes."
Rick inhaled.
Exhaled.
"Fine… but I want a raise."
Mason threw his hands in the air.
"TAKE THREE! JUST—JUST TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT, RICK!"
Aria offered Rick a cracker.
"For strength."
He took it.
"Thank you… I think…"
Aria's Final Line
"I will try to move slowly."
Rick nodded.
"Good. Please."
Aria finished the cracker.
"…But only when the camera is on."
Rick nearly fainted.