The Red Moon Ball is never meant to feel like a funeral. In fact, it is supposed to be the night the moon goddess comes down in all her glory and splendour to bless the wolves who decide to be mated tonight.
But tonight, it feels like I am mourning.
Everyone stands and moves to the side as the grand doors open, announcing my presence. They don't look until I am past them and standing at the elevated platform.
I can hear their chatter. They wonder who I will choose as my mate and Luna. After all, to them, it has been too long already.
But not for me.
The chatter in the hall dies as I clear my throat.
"I welcome you all to the fifteenth Red Moon Ball since I became Alpha of the Red Moon Pack," I start, watching the pack gather before me. They await the announcement, but the night is way too young.
"Let tonight be a memorable one for us all, as the moon goddess showers us with her blessings."
I leave them hungry and waiting for more, retreating from the light into the seat meant for the Alpha. I usually do not partake in the annual balls since Flora's death. She brought so much light to me that none of these things made any sense the minute she grew limp in my arms.
My Beta approaches me, nudging his head to a tiny figure in one corner. I nod, giving him my permission to let her come.
Her steps are small, and I notice she has shoes on. Maren, maybe.
Raya appears painfully shy, her long hair almost covering the entirety of her face as she stops in front of me.
"What do you want, Raya?" I question, giving her a cursory glance before returning my gaze to the booming ball.
She seems to take her time, probably getting hold of her thoughts. "I wanted to ask a question."
I know what it is, even before she opens her lips again.
"Yesterday, at the …"
"Do you know what happens to people who don't do as they are told, Raya?" I say calmly, crossing one foot over the other.
She stares at me with innocent eyes that almost make me crack.
"When I ask questions, it demands answers."
Her lips part, and then, they press shut again. She does it twice before speaking. "Back with the slave masters, they hated it when I answered their questions."
"I am not your slave master, Raya."
She shakes her head. "You're not as mean and brute as they are. You are kind."
My upper lip raises in a smirk, but it doesn't reach my eyes. "Don't be gullible, kid. Not everyone who buys you from an auction has your best interest at heart."
"I know." She is getting bolder, her speech clearer and more defined. "I heard. The girls used to talk about being used as breeders. They are sold again in the packs to one of the warriors who has lost his mate and doesn't want a second-chance mate."
"She bears cubs for him before she is tossed out. Or killed."
Raya flinches when she says the last bit, her eyes falling close slightly.
"But you are different," she continues in a tiny voice. "I have a bed to myself in the pack house, and you don't…You have …"
She swallows, faint pink blushes appearing on both sides of her face.
"I don't do kids, Raya. I have very specific taste."
"But I am your mate," she argues, her eyes now torn between panic and peace.
"You are not."
"But…"
I get on my feet again, and the hall falls into silence.
"Yesterday, I found my mate," I start, earning a ripple from the crowd. Raya's breath hitches beside me. I feel her take a tiny step closer to me.
"But I don't want her."
The ripple gets even louder as they push forward to get a better glimpse of her. She is so small, so tiny, that it is hard to see her standing at the doors of the grand hall.
She looks up at me, her eyes innocent and hurt.
"I, Alpha Rex of the Red Moon Pack, hereby reject Raya, the recently acquired slave, as my mate."
"Why?" she whispers, her voice breaking. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Your whole existence is wrong. You are tainted, Raya. I cannot make a tainted wolf my mate and the Luna of the strongest pack in the region. My people deserve better." The words come out colder than I intend.
The hall goes silent. I can see the confusion in their faces, the shock at my words, and then the understanding and resignation.
Raya seems to have shrunk into herself, but I don't care.
I shouldn't care.
I saved her from her slave masters because as my mate, she deserves to live a better life. But it cannot be with me. The prophecy have stated it clearly. She will be doomed with me.
"Why did you buy her, then?" A voice calls from the crowd. I recognize him from the council of elders. He was the one who tried to question me at the auction.
"Not that it is any of your business, Elder Crane," I start, turning slowly in his direction, my features hardening under the dim lights. "But I bought her to save the region. No one else can have her. She's a curse."
Her disbelief has turned into rage, and now, she is trembling beside me, her wolf trying to take over. But as long as I am Alpha and standing right next to her, she won't be able to do that.
"I hate you," Raya blurts, before turning around and running away, her eyes moist with tears. She dumps the shoes by the door and gives me one last look before slipping out.
Mirelle comes to stand beside me, filling the space Raya was occupying only a few seconds ago. Her expression is unreadable as always, one of the reasons I let her this close to me.
"Alpha Rex, don't you think you're punishing her for something neither of you can control?"
"She's my second chance, mate," I say quietly, away from the hearing of the pack. "But I won't let her break because of me. I can't let her die."