Patuloy lang ako sa pagsunod kay Major Velasco. Occasionally on our walk, may mga lalapit sa kanya na mga sundalo o kaya'y volunteer siguro, kaya titigil kami para kausapin niya ang mga ito.
Ang heels ko sumusuko na dahil sa pagdikit ng mga putik doon. Bawat hakbang, ramdam ko ang lalim ng lublob sa putik. I looked around the whole camp, mostly made of canvas tents, na para bang ilang taon nang ginagamit sa lahat ng natural disaster simula 1990. The whole place was chaotic, but it was the kind I didn't like. The boring chaos. Ang gusto ko ay yung may nakakasilaw na throbing lights, booming bass, at mga bartender na marunong mag-mix ng tequila sunrise habang naka Gucci slides. Chaos for me meant unexpected 3AM conversations in air-conditioned rooftop bars, not trying not to die from sunstroke sa gitna ng kung-anong warzone.
It took almost forever bago namin marating ang dulong bahagi ng camp, tumigil kami sa isang military beige-colored canvas. Major set my suitcases on the side before turning to me.
"This is where you'll be staying." ani niya.
Binuksan ko ang flap at sinilip ang loob nito. Which I wish I didn't dahil halos himatayin ako sa nakita. There were four beds in all four corners, two of them seems occupied dahil may mga gamit na nakalagay. Umirap ako sa kawalan saka binitawan ang pagkakahawak sa flap. Nilingon ko si Major.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Mukha ba akong nagbibiro, Miss Madrigal?" taas kilay niyang balik sa akin.
For the record, no. He doesn't look like it. Kung mas sumeryoso pa itong lalaking ito, baka pumutok na ang ugat niya sa sentido. Do they train them to be this uptight?
"This is unbelievable! Wala bang ibang option man lang? Come on! Baka merong maliit na guest room... with stoned walls? Hindi yung ganito na mukhang liliparin ng hangin. Or kung wala talaga baka pwedeng may sarili akong tent?"
"Wala. Everyone here earns what they use, hindi ka exempted doon." simpleng sagot niya.
"Wala talaga?" pag-uulit ko.
"Wala." he said in his usual clipped tone.
I opened my mouth to try protest again pero napansin ko ang ilang sundalo sa malapit na nakatingin na sa amin. Great! May instant audience pa. Ang drama ko kasi.
Huminga ako nang malalim. I forced a smile, pretending to be unbothered, kahit gusto ko nang maglaho sa lupa. I reminded myself: this still beats marrying Lucas Villaverde. Kilos of mud all over my designer heels over a lifetime of being called Mrs. Villaverde? Oh, please.
Kung kailangan ko magtiis ng three months sa init, putik, at sigaw ng mga taong hinding-hindi ko pipiliing makasama, then so be it. Three months. Just three. I'd take that over a lifetime of controlled smiles, handshakes with strangers, and a marriage founded on contracts and campaign promises. Three months. I can do this.
"Fine! This is no big deal."
Napairap ako sa iritasyon at padarag na kinuha ang mga gamit sa gilid. He stepped back so I can get my suitcases. Ramdam ko ang paninitig niya kaya nilingon ko siya. Gusto ko siyang batuhin ng kahit na ano, preferably one of my heels. But instead I just threw him a daggered look.
"I said this is fine, Major. Thank you for your accomodation." sarkastiko kong saad.
He just slightly raised his brow and nodded. Inalis ko agad ang tingin sa kanya at hinila na papasok ng tent ang mga gamit.
"Good. Settle in first, you'll join tomorrow's briefing." pahabol niya bago ako tuluyang nakapasok sa loob.
"Okay!" I responded.
Ilang saglit pa ay narinig ko na ang mga yabag niya palayo. I looked around again, like I was inspecting a crime scene. One corner had a few folded clothes, at yung isa naman ay may nakasabit na tuwalya. My designer heels looked painfully out of place sa mga tsinelas at muddy sneakers na nakahilera malapit sa entrance.
So this is it, my home for the next three months. Suck it in, Cion.
Tinungo ko ang pinakadulong cot na bakante, eyeing the thin mattress suspiciously. Sinubukan kong maupo roon. Oh my God. The mattress made a sound, like... plastic.
Eww.
Inilapag ko ang hinubad na sunglasses sa unan na naroon. I started taking out some of the important stuff from my duffel bag. And while I was still in the middle of my internal breakdown, biglang may mga boses sa labas.
"Baka dumating na yung bagong volunteer!" dinig ko galing sa labas.
A few seconds later, the tent flap lifted at pumasok ang dalawang babae na parehong naka field uniform, may mga pawis sa noo, at halatang galing sa trabaho. Nagkatinginan kami. Napakurap sila, ganun din ako.
"Uh... hi?" I greeted awkwardly, forcing a smile.
Both of them froze in the entrance, as if nagkamali sila ng tent. Yung isang tila mas, nakaponytail ang maiksing buhok. The other one looked older, serious type, may sunburned skin, at may matalim at iritadong tingin. They both looked me up and down. From my perfectly ironed white jumpsuit to my manicured nails, and then they exchanged looks. Not the judging kind, exactly, pero yung tipong this-one's-gonna-cry-in-two-days kind.
"Miss... kayo si Clara Madrigal?" the older one, Trish asked in a flat tone like she was reading a license plate number.
"Yes." I smiled again.
The younger one blinked, then whispered to her companion as if hindi ko naman siya dinig. "Siya yung anak nung senador?"
Nanigas yung ngiti ko. Of course, my name carried its own echo kahit saan ako magpunta.
Trish rolled her eyes subtly, then nudged the younger girl. Binalik niya ang tingin sa akin bago ngumiti ulit, though this one seemed more genuine and warm. "I'm Trish, one of the volunteers. And this is Katrina, pero Kat ang tawag naminsa kanya. Pasensya ka na kung medyo magulo, galing pa kami sa fieldwork kanina."
Kat stepped further inside, her eyes were wide as she looked at my attire.
"Fieldwork?" I probed, trying to sound casual.
Trish, who was now leaning against the tent pole, let out a dry, short laugh. "Oo, Miss Madrigal. Fieldwork, what do you think you'll be doing here? Hindi ito resort. We're setting up the relief hub for the typhoon victims."
Napatingin ako kay Trish, my brow twitching just slightly. Hindi ko alam kung yun bang tono niya ay sinadyang mapanliit o talagang ganun lang siyang magsalita, pero it rubbed me the wrong way. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to let my eyebrow shoot up in full confrontation mode.
Bago pa ako makasagot, pumalakpak si Kat, looking delighted at my outfit. "Ang ganda po ng suot niyo! Perfect po sa runway! Pero, uh, baka po hindi maganda ang kalalabasan niyan sa putik mamaya." She gestured to what I'm wearing.
"Oh, this?" I said, waving my hand dismissively. "It's just something comfortable I usually wear for travel. I was expecting... Uhm... You know, a different kind of structured environment."
"Anyway..." Trish chimed in habang inaayos ang mga gamit niya. Her tone is still sharp. "May orientation daw bukas ng umaga. Pero ngayong hapon, magpahinga ka na muna. Pagod ka sa biyahe for sure."
"Yeah, that's one way to put it." I said dryly, sitting back on my cot. I wanted to reply with something witty, but my brain was too busy trying to process the fact that this is my new normal.
Ilang oras yata akong nag-aayos ng mga gamit ko dahil binigyan ako ni Kat ng isang maliit na crate that can serve as a table. In-arrange ko doon ang mga toilettries, skincare at mga bagay na lagi kong ginagamit. Nang silipin ko ang labas, madilim na roon. Kat lit a small rechargeable lamp at tinapat sa gitna naming tatlo.
"Dinner na raw sa mess tent." sabi ni Trish, checking her watch. "Gusto mo bang sumama, Clara?"
I shook my head. "I'm good, Trish. Medyo pagod pa." Truthfully, I was starving, pero hindi ko pa kayang humarap sa mga plato ng canned sardines and rice with... I don't know, pebbles or something.
When they both left, I finally exhaled loudly, like I'd been holding my breath all day. I rubbed my aching feet.
"Okay, Cion. You need a shower." bulong ko sa sarili.
I fished out some comfortable clothes from my suitcase, I decided to settle with a t-shirt and simple shorts. Bye-bye silk. I don't feel like wearing them sa lugar na ito. Kinuha ko rin ang bag ko na puno ng toilettries. I went out of my tent and asked a personnel kung saan pwedeng makaligo. He gave me directions at mabilis akong nagtungo roon.
When I saw it, halos umatras ako. It wasn't even a bathroom. My eyes swept over the makeshift cubicles. It's just thin tarpaulins strung haphazardly between bamboo poles, flapping slightly in the wind like some sick joke. May nakapila na mga sundalo at volunteers sa harapan na may bitbit na tabo at tuwalya. Sa gilid, naka-imbak ang malalaking drum ng tubig na may nakakabit na improvised na gripo. This is not a bathroom. This is a war crime.
"Wait..." bulong ko, turning to the first person I saw. Isang volunteer na mukhang sanay na sa setup. "This is it? This is the bathroom?"
"Ah, yes! Dito na nga." sagot niya, nonchalantly habang tinatanggal ang rubber boots niya. Like it was the most normal thing in the world.
I stared at her like she just told me I'd won a trip to hell. "Seriously? Ang daming awang sa mga tarp. What if someone peeked through while I'm inside? God! that's horrifying!" I complained, sabay sapo ng noo.
"Girl... Hindi ko alam kung saan ka galing pero mukhang mayaman ka. Sadly, walang bidet dito, walang scented candles, or hot showers. Kailangan mong pagtiyagaan yan or wag kang maligo. At isa pa, wala namang sisilip sayo riyan." sagot niya na may kasabay na irap.
Bakit ba lahat ng tao dito ganito makipag-usap? I'm literally just asking. They can answer in a nice way right? I rolled my eyes too pero alam ko namang hindi niya nakita. I stepped back a little, trying not to wrinkle my nose too obviously. Kasi judging from the way the other volunteers were eyeing me, I probably already looked like a walking perfume ad lost in a jungle. I turned back to the volunteer who was now tying her hair like this was all normal. Sanay na sanay ka, girl. Good for you. Ako? Na-trauma na yata ako sa tanawin pa lang
I stood in line waiting for my turn while praying to all the gods na pagbigyan na akong makaligo. After maybe almost 30 minutes, it was my turn. Pagpasok ko sa cubicle, pinakawalan ko ang isang mahabang buntong hininga. I set down my things carefully sa basag na plastic stool. One wrong move and my Chanel bath gel would touch the ground, and I am not emotionally prepared for that.
I looked around. The walls didn't even reach the top, I could literally see the tops of the neighboring tents if I tilted my head. May butas pa sa gilid ng tarp na sakto lang para magdulot ng existential crisis.
Sumalok ako ng tubig sa timba na naroon at agad na nagbuhos. And shit, the water was ice cold. Mabuti na lang at napigilan ko ang tumili dahil sa lamig. Kung sa bathroom sa mansyon ay pwede akong mag-concert ng hindi nakakaabala, ibang usapan na rito.
I groaned quietly. "I hate it here!"
Kahit nanginginig sa lamig, I forced myself to keep going. I lathered my Dior body wash, trying to pretend I was in a spa commercial instead of this joke bathroom.
"Yes, Cion. Reclaim your power. Hydrate your pores. Ignore the frog noises." paulit ulit kong ni-recite.
And after what felt like the longest thirty minutes of my life, natapos din ako. Agad akong nagpatuyo at nagbihis para makalabas na. Pagdating ko sa tent, Kat and Trish were already fast asleep, their even breathing blending with the low hum of crickets outside. I moved quietly para hindi sila magising at dumiretso na sa sariling cot.
I wiped my damp hair with the edge of my towel, then sat there for a moment, staring at nothing.
"Just pretend it's glamping, Cion. Minus the glamour obviously." I whispered. I let out a sigh and lied on the cot.
Ilang oras pa akong nagpaikot ikot sa higaan bago nahanap ang komportableng pwesto. I pulled the blanket over me, closed my eyes, and tried to imagine I was back in my room in the city. With soft sheets, silk pillowcases and the faint lavender scent from my diffuser. But instead, ang naririnig ko ay zzzzzzzzzt! Napamulat ako ng mata.
And as if on cue, something pricked my arm. Then another sa binti, then isa pa sa leeg. I slapped wildly at the air.
"Seriously?! Is this a vampire convention?!"
Within minutes, I had counted at least ten bites already. My skin itched like hell. And every time I tried to lie still, bagong lamok na naman ang magba-buzz sa tenga ko na parang sinusubok talaga ang pasensiya ko. Hindi na ako makahinga ng maayos sa inis.
"That's it! I am not sleeping here!" mahina kong singhal sa kawalan. Nanggagalaiti akong tumayo para lumabas ng tent.
I slipped on my slippers, grabbed my phone, and crawled out of the cursed tent. The camp had quieted down already, only the distant hum of generators and faint voices from the command tent breaking the silence. Wala nang masyadong tao dahil siguro'y pagod na din ang lahat.
I continued scratching all over my body habang naglalakad kahit hindi ko naman alam saan ako pupunta. Using my phone as a flashlight, I went through the darker paths hoping I'd find a storage house or at least an empty jeep I could crawl into na sana naman ay may electric fan. Kahit saan basta hindi ako kinakain ng lamok.
"Where do you think you're going, Madrigal?"