The heavy metal door of the base slammed shut right behind Null, who had won the race. When Epsilon reached the door a few seconds later, out of breath, Null was waiting for him with her arms crossed in a victorious manner.
"This doesn't count," said Epsilon, wagging his finger at her. "You started before me! That's cheating."
"Negative," said Null, her voice carrying an obvious tone of satisfaction that was usually absent. "We both started moving at the same time. According to my analysis, your muscle power is 17% greater than the torque generated by my servos. If you could control your strength and balance sufficiently, you wouldn't have lost to me."
Epsilon straightened up and brushed the sand off himself. "Android or real woman... I guess I can't win an argument with any of you."
Instead of responding to this comment, Null changed the subject. "Go take a shower. It's risky for microorganisms from outside to enter the facility. You need to sterilize your body."
"Are you going to take one too?" Epsilon asked.
"I'll go to the ultrasonic cleaning unit. It's more efficient."
That mischievous smile appeared on Epsilon's face again. "So you're telling me I'm completely losing my chance to peek at you."
These words exceeded Null's newly developing patience parameters. She quickly took a step toward Epsilon and delivered a hard punch to his shoulder.
"Ahh! Hey!" Epsilon shouted, rubbing his shoulder. "You knew that was a joke!"
"Yes," said Null, turning her back and starting to walk down the corridor. "But that didn't stop my desire to hit you."
Epsilon stared after her. Despite the pain in his shoulder, there was a smile on his face. "Her feisty side... is so cute," he whispered to himself and walked toward where the showers were.
When he came out of the shower and put on one of the same type of gray clothes from the closet, Epsilon's face was sullen. He was clean and had pulled himself together, but the synthetic fabric on him was irritating his skin. When he came to Null's side, she had already been cleaned and looked perfect as always.
"How can I find new clothes?" Epsilon asked. "What I'm wearing isn't comfortable at all. It's like it's made of sandpaper."
"If you want, there's a machine," Null said, indifferently pointing to a workshop. "Material synthesizer. There's enough raw polymer and cotton fiber. You can design your own clothes."
Epsilon's eyes lit up. "Are you serious?" Without waiting for an answer, he ran toward the workshop.
Null watched after him. Abnormal energy levels, she thought. The possibility of making simple clothes is producing happiness data as if he'd won a war. This human's entertainment threshold is outside my logical limits.
About half an hour later, Epsilon returned. He was wearing a pajama set that looked soft and comfortable, reminiscent of his old world. But he was also holding other things in his hands.
"These are for you," he said, extending what he held to Null. He placed in Null's hand a soft, comfortable home wear set, a simple hair clip, and old-fashioned, frameless glasses.
Null looked at the items in her hand with surprise. "Why did you design these?"
"To see my girlfriend's 'cutest home' look," said Epsilon with a grin.
In response, a metal data disk that flew from the console next to Null whizzed past right by Epsilon's head. Epsilon dodged to the side to avoid the disk. "Wow, that was close!"
"Friend," Null corrected, her voice icy. "Not girlfriend."
"Okay, okay, friend," said Epsilon, raising his hands. "But I still want you to wear these. Please?"
Null couldn't resist that pure, childlike enthusiasm radiating from Epsilon through the nanorobots. Sighing, she took the clothes and turned around for a moment. When she turned back, the new comfortable clothes were on her.
"Perfect!" said Epsilon. "Now for this." He took the hair clip and took a step toward her. "Can I tie your hair up?"
Null hesitated, but when she felt that irresistible enthusiasm again, she slightly lowered her head in approval. Epsilon carefully gathered Null's chestnut hair and made a simple ponytail. Finally, he gently placed the glasses on her face.
He stepped back and looked at his work. With her comfortable clothes, tied-up hair, and glasses on her face, Null now resembled an intelligent bookworm more than a military android.
"Okay," said Epsilon, clapping his hands together. "Now I can die happy."
"Why does this make you so happy?" Null asked, trying to understand the logic of this situation. "I don't see a reason for this action to produce a biochemical reward."
"It's like dressing up a mannequin," Epsilon joked.
"You..." Null began, her voice rising with anger again. "You're really very unstable!" But this time her anger didn't last long. She stared at Epsilon with a strange expression caught between anger and a satisfaction she couldn't make sense of.
"I know this annoys you," Epsilon said in a teasing tone. "But I must admit, I enjoy seeing these reactions from you."
Null paused for a moment while processing this new data. "The act of taking pleasure from others' negative reactions is classified in my database as 'sadistic tendency.' Are you a sadist?"
"Not that much," Epsilon laughed. "I'm just having fun."
Null analyzed his relaxed attitude for a moment. "Before... did you act this way with your girlfriend too?"
This question instantly wiped out all the joy in the room. The smile on Epsilon's face froze. "Yes," he said in a whisper. "I used to be like this. Then... everything got worse."
Through the nanorobots, Null felt the sudden and crushing wave of sadness radiating from Epsilon. This was different from the pain that had seeped from his earlier memories. This was like the ache of a fresh wound. "What happened then?" she asked, her voice now curious rather than analytical.
Epsilon's eyes filled with tears. "Rather than telling you... you can see." He closed his eyes and sent a memory to Null's mind.
Null suddenly found herself in a cold hospital room. She was seeing through Epsilon's eyes. Next to him lay a pale-faced, weakened girl. The rhythmic but weak sound of monitors was the only sound in the room. The girl's eyes opened slightly, she smiled at Epsilon, and took her last breath. The helplessness of that moment, the devastation, that bottomless void created by losing someone you love... Null felt it all.
When the memory ended, Null found herself back at the base, looking at Epsilon with tears in his eyes. She didn't know what to say. No logical consolation sentence could ease that absolute pain she had just felt. Instinctively, as she had done before, she reached out and placed her hand on Epsilon's shoulder. There were no words. Just silent understanding and shared pain.
"Is this what it feels like... to lose a person?" Null whispered, her voice almost inaudible. "This is so... complex. Sadness, longing, and... anger. My system can't process this data simultaneously."
Through his tears, Epsilon looked at her. "In this situation, it's meaningless to calm people with words," he said in a hoarse voice. "Let me... teach you the right way to do this."
Null couldn't find a logical response. She just nodded.
Epsilon slowly took a step toward her and wrapped his arms around Null's waist, resting his head on her shoulder and continuing to cry silently.
Null froze for a moment. Protocol: Physical contact, for comfort purposes. Action: Reciprocate. But this was more than a protocol. Through the nanorobots, she felt the crushing pain radiating from Epsilon slowly giving way to a sense of relief. This relief also spread to her own systems. She hesitantly raised her arms and clumsily hugged Epsilon. While her logic circuits said this action was inefficient, that other newly activated unit whispered that this was the right action right now.
After a while, Epsilon pulled back and wiped his eyes. "Thank you."
Null nodded, not knowing what to say. "I'll... get you another can," she said, the only logical solution she could find to change the subject. As she turned and left the room, she murmured to herself: "My logic unit says your biological instabilities are a threat to my system. But... that other unit... says when I feel your pain, all the solutions logic offers become meaningless. This contradiction... is rewriting me."
Epsilon, sitting in the corner questioning himself, was thinking, What am I doing? I'm losing my balance in everything and seeking in an android more than the warmth people couldn't give me. Just then Null returned with a can in her hand. She saw Epsilon's state but said nothing, just extended the can to him.
Epsilon tried to pull himself together and smiled. "Thanks, my life."
This last word caused a momentary freeze in Null's systems. The database had the meaning of this word, but its use in this context started an error loop in her logic circuits. "You're welcome," she said in a mechanical voice.
"That term..." Null paused, processing. "It doesn't translate naturally to standard language. Is it from... before?"
Epsilon's smile became bittersweet. "My native language. Some things just sound better in the tongue you grew up with."
"I see." Null filed this data away. A linguistic artifact from his past life. No equivalent existed in her database that carried the same weight.
While Epsilon was eating, he broke the silence. "What are your memories like, Null? Can you... show me the night you found me?"
Null paused for a moment. "I think I can. But for today, enjoy your meal. You've had a hard enough day."
Epsilon nodded. "How many of these cans are there? How long can we survive?"
"Approximately two thousand," Null said, calculating instantly. "If you consume three of these every day, it will last a little over a year."
Epsilon grinned. "So if I repeat the forty-day purification often, I can stay with you longer."
"I want to remind you again of the risk of causing permanent damage to your body," Null said in a serious voice.
"A girl who thinks about me," Epsilon joked.
Null looked around for something to throw at him but then stopped. She remembered what had just happened. She clenched her fist. "I'm... allowing you for now."
Epsilon finished his meal. "I need something to keep me busy. What are you going to do?"
"I'll perform periodic maintenance of the facility," Null said. "What do you want?"
"A game! I want to go to the terminal and prepare a game. Set up a terminal for me that works in your coding language."
Epsilon sat down at the terminal Null had prepared and enthusiastically started writing code. As Null walked down the corridor for maintenance duties, she found herself lost in thought. System maintenance... Patrol... Duty... These words no longer seem meaningless. When I used to do these alone, everything was numb. Now... Epsilon is here. This thought created a strange warmth in her systems. Even though he's sometimes annoying, this chaos I feel because of him is better than that old emptiness.
Her mind drifted to the memory Epsilon had shown. That girl... That girl in bed... His feeling for her was different. Different from his curiosity toward me, his amusement. Deep... and painful. With this thought, a burning and disturbing feeling she had never felt before appeared in her systems. What is this feeling? This... is illogical. Data being scanned... Result: Jealousy.
When Null finished the maintenance tasks and returned, she found Epsilon at the terminal, playing the game he had made himself. On the screen was a simple, 2D game where two characters resembling themselves jumped over obstacles and raced.
"Why do these characters look like us?" Null asked.
"What can I do," said Epsilon without taking his eyes off the screen. "I was inspired by the most beautiful girl living in this world."
Null hit Epsilon's head hard but not hard enough to hurt him. "I'm not exactly a 'girl.' You constantly neglect this detail and it needs to be corrected."
"Okay okay, I understand," said Epsilon, rubbing his head. "Come on, let's play."
The two sat side by side and played the game for hours, laughing and trash-talking each other. When Epsilon's eyes started to close from sleepiness, Null suddenly took the controller from his hand.
"That's enough. Go to bed."
"But I was just about to break the record!" Epsilon whined. "Now you're acting completely like my mother."
Null forcefully lifted him from his chair and dragged him toward the bedroom. "I'm treating you the way you need to be treated." After Null put him to bed, Epsilon continued to look at her from where he lay.
"What are you looking at?" Null asked.
"You're constantly studying me, aren't you? I'm looking at you too," Epsilon said simply.
Null paused for a moment. "So... besides that, what are you thinking? I feel that you're amused."
Epsilon grinned. "You know, a good spouse should know how to act like a mother when needed too."
The answer to this joke was a hard blow Null delivered to the headboard. "I think this is an appropriate response for you."
Epsilon laughed, then his voice became serious. "I'm glad you're with me, Null."
Null was surprised by this sudden emotional shift. "Why did you say that now?"
"Because sometimes people neglect to say this and that moment becomes a regret. I don't want this to be like that."
Affected by his sincere and sad feelings, Null looked at him silently. A moment of understanding that words couldn't express passed between them.
After the long gaze, Epsilon broke the silence. "After such a long look, don't hold yourself back. You can give me my goodnight kiss."
The answer to this sentence was a light punch to Epsilon's mouth.
"I'm not going to kiss you or anything," Null said, her voice flat as always but with a sparkle in her eyes. "This will be enough for you." She turned her back and walked toward the charging unit in the room.
"Good night, Null," said Epsilon, rubbing the corner of his lip.
"Good night, Epsilon," Null replied, her back turned to him.
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Author's Note: On Epsilon's "My Life" đź’™
You might notice Epsilon uses the term "my life" as an endearment.
This is a direct, literal translation from his original language, where it carries a deep meaning:Â "You are everything to me."Â I've chosen to keep this untranslated, even though it may sound unusual, for a few reasons:
It is a linguistic echo of who Epsilon was and his culture.
It creates a unique and intimate language just for "them."
The slight awkwardness reflects how Epsilon himself feels: displaced and trying to find his place in this new world.
Think of it as a word that loses its punch in translation, like the Japanese "nakama." Sometimes the original just hits different. Enjoy! 💙