Five Years Ago
"Star."
The sound came from the hallway, followed by the firm, quick rhythm of shoes on tile. From the weight of those steps, I knew it had to be Adrian, my husband on his morning hunt for whatever he'd misplaced again. His briefcase, his tie, his patience.
I panicked. I'd been craving something sweet after making breakfast, but I knew how Adrian would react. I snapped the small square of chocolate in half and shoved it into my mouth before he could see. The sweetness melted fast, clinging to my tongue.
"There you are." He filled the kitchen doorway, tall and crisp in his white shirt, cuff links catching the light. "Where's my tie?"
I'd misjudged how close he was. I still had the chocolate in my mouth, and the smell of cocoa hung between us. I swallowed hard, forcing a smile. "It's on the dresser."
His eyes swept over me, slow and sharp, stopping at my waist. The look of disgust that crossed his face made my throat tighten.
"You're eating those sweets again," he said flatly. "Just how much are you going to eat? Look at you already."
I dropped my gaze to the marble counter, pretending to smooth a crumb that wasn't there. It was easier to look there than at myself.
If Adrian hated my body, then I hated it even more. My hand drifted to my stomach, fingers pressing against the roll of skin I couldn't seem to hide. The shame settled there, solid and familiar.
Adrian's words always landed heavy, like the end of a sentence I hadn't finished.
"It–it was—"
"Get to the point already."
"I—I…"
He sighed, impatient, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Oh, whatever. Just go get the tie. I've got a meeting. I can't deal with this right now."
"I'm sorry," I whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. My cheeks burned. Why had I eaten that chocolate? I knew how much it irritated him when I did.
"If you're going to apologize," he said without looking at me, "then do better."
The front door opened. Relief fluttered through me like a small bird escaping a cage.
"Hey! You better not be bullying Star."
Lena's voice came bright and light down the hall. She swept into the kitchen like a burst of sunlight, the scent of her perfume—something floral and expensive—softening the room.
She went straight to Adrian, giving him a playful slap on the arm. Her fingers stayed there a little too long, curling against the fabric of his sleeve as she laughed.
He smiled back,oh that smile was familiar and somehow rare. I wished he'd still look at me that way.
Then she turned to me, her warmth wrapping around me like always. "Is it about the chocolate?"
Before I could answer, she threw a mock glare at Adrian. "I got those for Star, you ass. She's pregnant. Pregnant women need their cravings met. Everyone knows that."
She reached out, her hand resting gently over my stomach. "To grow an angel," she added softly.
Her touch was warm and comforting, as always. Even though I loved my husband, Lena was the only one who truly understood me.
She knew the weight I'd gained wasn't because I was lazy but because I was tired, stressed and pregnant. She knew why I hadn't looked "pretty" in years: because I was busy taking care of this family. She understood and protected me, just like she promised she would more than ten years ago when we were still at the orphanage, dreaming about the kind of sisters we'd become.
Adrian's chuckle filled the kitchen, warm and bright. "Alright, stop defending her. You're too nice to Star, that's why she keeps misbehaving."
Lena laughed, tossing her hair back. "Come on, my Star's a good girl through and through. You better not bully her."
Her words made him laugh again, that deep, easy sound that he used to shower on me. For a moment, the room filled with it—the smell of coffee, the scrape of a chair, the small domestic warmth that made me ache with memory. It reminded me of when Adrian and I used to laugh together, back when smiling at me came easier to him.
Vivi came tearing through the doorway in her private school uniform, the skirt pressed sharp and the blazer crisp, buzzing with an unusual burst of energy. She was the typical teenage mix of moody and sweet, often a little too rough without meaning to be.
She bumped into me hard enough to make me flinch and clutch my arm. "Lena! I missed you!" she squealed, running straight into her arms.
"Vivi, please be careful—" I started, but her laughter drowned me out.
I looked toward Adrian, waiting for him to tell his sister to be careful, especially with the baby. But his eyes were on Lena and Vivi, that same soft, admiring look still in them.
Lena really was the light in this house. Even I believed it. And that was fine with me after all, we'd promised each other we were family. Sharing a little of my family with her was the least I could do.
Light footsteps echoed down the stairs.
Miranda, my mother-in-law, appeared in her robe, her hair pinned perfectly despite the hour. She'd once told me I could call her Mother and I'd cried the first time she said it.
"Oh, Lena's here," she mumbled as she passed me, her slippers soft against the tile. "Explains all this noise."
Her gaze found me only after she reached the counter. "Star, is breakfast ready?"
I nodded quickly. "Yes, Mother. I was just about to call everyone—"
"Come, Lena," Vivi said, tugging at her hand. "Sit next to me at the table!"
"Mom, Lena said she'd show me the new bag she got—it's that brand you're always talking about."
Miranda perked up, her eyes lighting. "Oh? Really? Lena, that's an expensive one."
"It was a gift," Lena said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Miranda smiled, half teasing, half admiring. "See, Vivi? Privilege like that only comes to pretty girls like you and Lena."
Their laughter trailed off as they made their way to the dining room, a small parade of chatter, and inside jokes that didn't include me. It was normal. I was used to it.
Maybe we couldn't find much to talk about, but I was useful in other ways. I cooked, I cleaned, I kept things running. That was enough.
Even if they didn't always show it, I knew they loved me. My presence was a constant they could always rely on—so constant it was easy to forget I was standing there at all. Maybe that's why I mattered even more.
"Star!"
Adrian's voice came from the hall, and my heart lifted. If anyone remembered me, it would be him.
"Go get the tie already," he said. Then, lower, under his breath, "Just standing there staring like a weirdo." I heard him.
I swallowed the lump of disappointment. I shouldn't have expected more. This was normal.
I walked through the stretch between the kitchen and the stairs, brushing against my father-in-law as he passed.
"Good morning," I said quickly. "I made your favorite hash browns today."
He only grunted in reply.
"Dad!" Vivi's voice called from the dining room. "Adrian's going to finish all the food if you don't hurry!"
Their laughter followed, light and distant, as I stood alone against the stairwell, my hands still damp from the sink.