The chill in the air becomes a densely frigid frost all around Taehyeon. This is perhaps the worst thing Minjun could be curious about.
"Do you like boys?" The short one asks.
Minjun laughs. "Nobody has ever asked me that be—"
"Ignore him," Taehyeon grates out through his gritted teeth. "He's just being silly. It's not like you'd start dating each other if you did."
Taehyeon isn't even sure of his own words. Lee Minjun is just about the hottest guy at Jeonwon Metropolitan High School and he might just be the hottest guy in their age bracket in the whole country. One of these sometimes shy Eoleunjeol boys must have fallen for Minjun by now. If they started going out with each other and Taehyeon had to watch, he would highly consider the alternative of just eating himself alive instead.
Minjun's thick eyebrows waggling suggestively must be saying so many things. They're oddly hypnotic and Taehyeon ends up focused on them for long enough to have magically been transported to a little snack shop.
The spark of spice hits the back of his nose making him splutter. Bada takes the opportunity to shove a chewy piece of ricecake into Taehyeon's mouth. Aside from the fact that his head was almost skewered, Taehyeon thinks he's okay.
"What's wrong with you? You've been staring at Minjun way too much," Bada whispers. He kindly offers his cup of cola.
Taehyeon supposes his only option is to forgive his closest — and apparently only — friend. As for the staring, all Taehyeon can think about is Minjun's eyebrows. That must have been it.
"Sorry. How weird was I?"
"I managed to convince everyone that you have a medical disorder where cold weather gives you severe brain freeze. I'm not sure how convincing I was about your eyes being stuck frozen to a single point of focus though."
"Thanks," Taehyeon says. The lie about the medical condition must have been a hard enough sell as it was. "Should I pretend to be sick? Will that make your friends think I'm sort of normal?"
"They were just screaming about wanting to kill each other," Bada says so quietly that Taehyeon can barely hear him. "I think you are about as normal as they are."
Taehyeon could cry. Bada is a far better friend than Taehyeon could have asked for in all his years. That single reassurance already feels as though it is rewiring Taehyeon's brain into being a mindful and thankful person.
Of course, this new positive mindset doesn't last long. As Minjun chatters away to Woobin at the furthest end of the table, Taehyeon considers a different reason for the question Minjun posed as part of his fictional survey.
If Taehyeon got himself a boyfriend, that would take care of the problem he must pose for Minjun. Whilst Minjun says he doesn't think that he thinks Taehyeon is weird and gross, he must be thinking it really. Even if the thoughts are so far down in the fog of whatever hot people think about, Minjun must think Taehyeon is at least a bit weird and gross.
All Minjun would need to do to get some space from Taehyeon would be to find him a boyfriend. It is a simple solution that would absolutely work. Taehyeon is just a loser who has never been kissed, after all. He'd definitely go all in if someone showed him the slightest bit of attention.
Taehyeon doesn't have anything against these shy Eoleunjeol boys but he'd rather not have a boyfriend picked from this bunch. Something about ending up with Woobin or the short one or the one practically draped over Bada's side like a shawl would be pathetic. At least one of those options clearly wouldn't work anyway.
Taehyeon still can't help staring at Minjun. Maybe he really does have some sort of medical condition. Bada might have a future as a doctor or something. Taehyeon needs to get a grip. Minjun meets Taehyeon's gaze diagonally across the table. His smile is filled with so much that isn't fair. He's not allowed to look happy to see Taehyeon if he intends to palm him off on some other unfortunate loser. Not that Taehyeon can tell Minjun as much himself. He's a coward. He will just have to silently suffer the thoughts that creep into his head with each one of Minjun's smiles.
Something quiet shuffles into Taehyeon's head but he notices it right away.
"Bada, I need to talk to you right this instant," Taehyeon says very seriously. And loudly apparently. Bada looks worried but nods his head and stands up as he tells everyone else to get back to whatever they were talking about. Clambering out of their rickety little chairs turns out not to be the least convenient part about getting to speak alone.
It's freezing outside. This was a terrible idea.
"What did you want to talk about?" Bada asks before Taehyeon can think of a smarter place they could have gone than just standing outside in the narrow alleyway. The window for the snack shop is clouded opaque with condensation so it is pointless for Bada to keep trying to glance through the glass. Taehyeon hopes that invisibility goes both ways. He wants to pretend that the two of them have some amount of privacy.
"What's that boy called? The one who was just sitting next to you?" Taehyeon asks.
"That's Siwoo," Bada says. Right now he's getting cross but pretending not to. Taehyeon doesn't have an excuse for not knowing beyond just not having a clue which one was which. That must mean the fluffy one is Pilgyu. It's better to work this stuff out late than not at all.
"Has he told you that he likes you yet?"
Bada stares at Taehyeon for a moment too long. "No. Why would he say something like that?"
"Oh. Do you like one of the other ones then? Which one is it?"
"Can we rewind, like, thirty seconds, please? What are you talking about?"
"It's probably scary for him to say too, right?" Taehyeon shrugs. "Is he a first year or something? He definitely fancies you, Bada. I'm a million percent sure."
"No you're not," Bada says, voice as quiet and pale as his breath in the air.
"I am. I'm so sure that I'll let you punch me as many times as you want if I'm wrong."
Hearing that it isn't a joke, Bada's face thaws into a smile. He laughs and buries his face in his trembling hands. Taehyeon crowds closer and hears the muttered, "You're wrong, he doesn't," over and over.
Bada's whole body is shaking, Taehyeon realises as he wraps himself around his friend.
"You know, Badabada, he has been slouching and pretending to be short basically the whole time I have seen him standing next to you. Should I tell him that you like tall boys?"
"Shut up!" Bada screeches. He laughs like he's afraid and Taehyeon is happy to exchange his own dread for something like this. Experience apparently doesn't make a difference when it comes to crushes because Bada is freaking out even after kissing a boy who has a glamorous and sophisticated university girlfriend.
"My Badabada is all grown up," Taehyeon pretends to weep. The problem is that Bada is actually crying as he splutters through half-formed laughs. Taehyeon laughs too but he's careful when using his sleeves to catch Bada's tears. "You're going to have a boyfriend. A proper one."
Bada shakes his head and tries to say something that only makes him cough.
"I hope you're right about there statistically being more people like us at that school. He will need to be able to brag about going out with The Kim Bada. You know you're really handsome, don't you? My mom says that you should be a model."
Bada opens his mouth but only a whimper comes out.
"Ah, maybe you're right," Taehyeon offers, dabbing at the last of Bada's tears. "She said I should try to be a model too so she must just have been trying to be nice."
"Hey!"
"Stop being a silly billy then. He's so lucky to be your first boyfriend. Do you think that you can go inside and sweep him off his feet?"
It takes another minute or so before Bada is able to talk properly. To test it out, the two of them give one last cheer before they go back inside.
"Are you alright?" Minjun asks them when they sit back down. "We heard something strange when you were out there."
"Oh," Taehyeon says as casually as he can, "there was a spider in Bada's hair."
Minjun laughs along with Pilgyu but Siwoo isn't laughing at all. Taehyeon can see him patting at the back of his head as though he is searching for spiders too. Taehyeon holds his breath for a moment and then it happens! Bada smooths his hand over Siwoo's hair. Taehyeon internally cheers. He can hear wedding bells already.
It will be alright if things at least go well for one of them. Taehyeon wants to see Bada happy.