My name's Rei Kurogane.
Or… was.
Last thing I remember? A blinding set of headlights, my phone mid-text, and a thought so stupid it deserves a prize: "Bet I can cross before the truck—"
Spoiler: I could not.
There's this half-second where you realize you've achieved peak idiocy, and then—bam. Darkness. Except it wasn't empty darkness. It was… crowded.
Imagine floating in black syrup while a thousand voices whisper, "Nice going, moron."
Then came the voice.
"Yo."
I blinked—or tried to. "...Yo?"
"Congrats. You're dead. Spectacular form, by the way. Texting while walking? Classic."
"Wait, who the hell—?"
The darkness peeled open like a curtain, revealing some kind of cosmic office. Giant desk. Floating paperwork. A coffee mug that said '#1 Deity'.
Behind it sat a guy wearing a hoodie and cosmic sweatpants. The actual God looked like he'd given up on divinity and switched to customer support.
"Right," he said, scrolling through what looked like my life on a tablet. "Rei Kurogane, age 19. College dropout, part-time gamer, full-time disappointment."
"Excuse me—"
"Don't bother defending yourself. Even your search history is crying."
"…Fair."
He leaned back. "Okay, I'll be honest, Rei. You're not supposed to die yet. Truck-kun misread his schedule again."
"Truck-kun?"
"My most loyal employee. Bit over-enthusiastic lately. Keeps sending people to random dimensions."
"So you're saying I got… isekai'd by accident?"
"Exactly." He sipped cosmic coffee. "Which means I gotta compensate you. Rules and all."
He snapped his fingers and a menu appeared in front of me. [Reincarnation Compensation Plan – Pick One (1)]
The options read like a gamer's fever dream:
Holy Sword of Destiny
Demon King Starter Pack
System Cheat Menu
Lifetime supply of mana potions
Pet Dragon with tax benefits
I squinted. "Where's the none of the above option?"
"Eh, you're fun. Alright, how about this—random roll?"
Before I could answer, he spun a massive wheel that materialized in mid-air. It was covered in sparkly stickers and one suspiciously large golden slot labeled ???.
Naturally, it landed on that one.
"Congrats!" he said, clapping. "You just pulled the [∞ Paradox Engine]."
"…What does that do?"
He paused. "Everything."
"That's not helpful."
"Neither is dying mid-street, yet here we are."
I sighed. "Fine. What's the catch?"
He smirked. "None. Unless you count being reborn in Sinlicia."
"Sinlicia… sounds peaceful."
"Depends on your definition of 'peaceful.' Dragons fight over property lines, gods use mortals as chess pieces, and guild paperwork takes three weeks."
"Wait, did you say gods—plural?"
"Oh yeah. I'm just the one on coffee duty. The rest are… complicated. Try not to annoy them. Also, don't mention me; I'm technically not supposed to be doing this."
I blinked. "So I'm being illegally reincarnated."
"Correct. Now, one last thing."
He flicked a cosmic finger and a small glowing orb hovered before me. "This is your soul's backup. You keep your memories, and because I'm in a good mood, a tiny upgrade."
"Define tiny."
He grinned. "Let's say your mana capacity is infinite, your stats grow exponentially, and your soul can rewrite physics if you're bored. But! You'll be ranked F, because drama is essential."
"What the actual—"
"Alright, no time for panic. Off you go! Enjoy your new life, Rei Kurogane. Try not to die again, or I'm revoking your respawn privileges."
Before I could protest, he yeeted me—literally yeeted me—through a swirling vortex that smelled faintly of coffee and regret.
---
When I woke up, I wasn't on Earth anymore.
Instead, I was lying on grass so soft it felt like cheating. Above me stretched a lavender sky with two suns lazily crossing each other like they were late for work.
"Okay… so not Kansas."
A notification chimed in my head.
> [Welcome to Sinlicia]
You have been assigned base rank: F (Functional Liability)
Primary skill unlocked: [∞ Paradox Engine]
Please do not panic.
"Oh, trust me, I'm beyond panic," I muttered. "I'm in the tutorial zone of a cosmic prank."
Then my stomach growled. "And apparently still mortal."
I checked my reflection in a nearby pond. Still me—black hair, same sarcastic face. Maybe a bit sharper, eyes glowing faintly silver when I blinked. Great, I looked like the discount protagonist of a low-budget anime.
As I wandered, another message popped up:
> Quest #1: Survive the first 24 hours.
Reward: Not dying.
"Wow, generous."
A rustle in the bushes made me freeze. Something the size of a Labrador with horns and teeth stepped out. Its status hovered above its head:
> [Forest Imp – Lv 3]
I was unarmed, untrained, and apparently F-rank.
"Alright, improvise," I muttered, picking up a stick. "Let's see what infinite mana does."
I swung. The stick exploded.
Not broke—exploded.
The shockwave vaporized the imp and flattened half the clearing. The nearby trees caught fire, the ground smoked, and I was left holding ashes.
"…okay maybe too much mana."
New message:
> Congratulations! You have completed Quest #1 in record time.
Bonus Reward: Mild existential crisis.
---
Hours later, I stumbled into a town. Sinlicia's architecture looked like medieval Europe crashed into a JRPG. Tall spires, floating crystals, vendors yelling about mana fruit and enchanted socks.
I found a sign: ADVENTURERS GUILD – All Ranks Welcome!
"Alright," I told myself, "keep it low-key. F-rank nobody. Totally normal."
Inside, the guild buzzed with chaos. Adventurers laughed, argued, drank. Behind the counter stood a woman with fox ears and the kind of smile that said she tolerated idiots for a living.
"New registration?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah. Rei Kurogane. F-rank adventurer."
She nodded, typing into a crystal terminal. "Please place your hand on the orb."
I did. The orb flared red, then purple, then every color at once before exploding into confetti.
Everyone stopped talking.
The receptionist blinked. "...That's never happened before."
"Good thing I like being unique?" I offered weakly.
A burly adventurer chuckled from a nearby table. "Look at that twig. Bet he can't even handle a slime."
Laughter followed. Someone actually tossed me a wooden sword. "Here, hero, don't hurt yourself."
I grinned, pretending it didn't sting. "Thanks. I'll treasure it forever—probably as firewood."
The fox-lady coughed politely. "Um, Mr. Kurogane, you're registered. You can start with basic quests—herb gathering, rat extermination, or escort duties."
"Perfect," I said. "Let's start with something easy."
Outside, I picked up a "Collect 10 healing herbs" quest. Simple, right? Except when I tried to pluck the first herb, my infinite mana overloaded it and turned the entire patch into glowing gold vines that sang.
"Yeah. Totally normal."
By sunset, I'd somehow completed five quests by accident, destroyed half a forest, and was currently hiding from the guild because rumors had started spreading about an F-rank walking natural disaster.
Back in a rented room, I flopped onto the bed, staring at the glowing status window floating above me.
> Name: Rei Kurogane
Rank: F
Main Skill: [∞ Paradox Engine]
Mana: ∞
Title: ???
"I'm so screwed," I muttered. "Or maybe destined. Same thing, really."
The window flickered, and for a split second I saw something behind the words—two eyes, gold and violet, watching.
> [Subroutine Online – Calibration in Progress]
"...what the hell are you?"
No response, just static and faint laughter echoing in my head.
Great. My cheat system's haunted.