The cold hit him first. Then the sight of eight soldiers on horseback, weapons drawn, surrounding the cabin.
The one in front—Lieutenant Varys, presumably—was a hard-faced woman in her forties with lieutenant's insignia and eyes like frozen steel.
"I'm the fugitive you're looking for," Cadarn said, hands raised. "The people inside are just travelers. They have nothing to do with this."
Varys studied him. "Doctor Cadarn Vex?"
"Yes."
"You're under arrest by order of Duke Theodric. Cooperate and you'll be treated fairly. Resist and—"
"I understand. I'm not resisting." Cadarn walked forward, into the snow. "Just let the people inside go. They didn't know who I was. They were just showing hospitality."
Varys dismounted, pulling out shackles. "We'll decide that after questioning them."
"No. You'll let them go. Now."
"Or what? You'll run again? You can barely stand." She moved closer, shackles raised.
Cadarn pulled the knife from under his shirt—Mara's son's knife—and held it to his own throat.
Every soldier tensed. Crossbows swung toward him.
"Or I kill myself," Cadarn said calmly. "Right here. Right now. And whatever information you were sent to extract dies with me."
Varys stopped moving. "That's a bluff."
"Is it? I've spent twenty years wanting to die. The only thing keeping me alive is the idea that my death might mean something. But if you're going to torture me anyway, if this ends with me broken and screaming in some dungeon, I might as well end it here. At least then it's my choice."
The knife pressed harder against his skin. He felt a trickle of blood run down his neck.
"Put down the knife, Doctor."
"Let them go. All of them. Let them walk away. Then I'll cooperate. You get me alive, they get to live. Everyone wins."
"I could just order my men to shoot you. Wound you. Take you anyway."
"You could. But I'll cut my own throat before I hit the ground." He smiled. "I'm a surgeon, Lieutenant. I know exactly where to cut for fastest bleed-out. You'd have maybe thirty seconds before I'm gone. Want to risk it?"
Varys's jaw tightened. Behind her, the soldiers waited for orders.
From the cabin, Cadarn heard movement. Kael's voice, barely audible: "Don't do this."
He didn't look back. Couldn't look back.
"Your choice, Lieutenant. My life for theirs. Take it or leave it."
Varys stared at him for a long moment. Then: "Lower your weapons. Let the people in the cabin leave."
"Commander—" one of the soldiers protested.
"Now! We need the doctor alive more than we need deserters." She looked at Cadarn. "They walk. You cooperate. Deal?"
"Deal."
He heard the cabin door open. Footsteps in the snow. Kael's voice, furious and desperate: "Cadarn—"
"Go," he said without turning. "All of you. Run. Don't look back."
"I'm not leaving you to—"
"You are. Because this is the only way you survive." He kept his eyes on Varys. "Now go. Please."
A long pause. Then footsteps moving away. Into the forest. Into the snow. Into safety.
He waited until he couldn't hear them anymore.
Then he lowered the knife.
Varys moved fast, shackling his wrists before he could change his mind. The metal was cold against his skin.
"You just traded your life for strangers," she said.
"I know."
"That's either very brave or very stupid."
"Can't it be both?"
She almost smiled. Almost.
Then she hauled him toward a horse. "Mount up. We've got a long ride to Fort Ravensgate. And Doctor? Don't try anything clever. My orders are to bring you in alive. They didn't specify intact."
They lifted him onto a horse, tied his shackled hands to the pommel. The soldiers formed up around him—a moving prison.
As they rode away from the cabin, Cadarn looked back once.
The snow was already covering their tracks.
By morning, there'd be no sign anyone had been here at all.
It felt fitting, somehow.
His whole life disappearing into white.