no matter to me." The Shrine Maiden, having had zero experience in love,
blushed as she feigned composure.
"Master, Master?! Please impart this knowledge unto me!!" Jibril drooled
excitedly, begging to get the data back—"Perhaps even experientially. Please,
please!!"—or otherwise to receive the most personal instruction possible.
"…Shiro. Your brother's gonna go dig a hole… You wanna get in it with
me?"
"…Mm. O-kay…"
—In short, Sora was being publicly humiliated. Sprawled on the tatami
with his sister, he gathered the gumption to bury himself. But—
"Yet, even with this glorious knowledge, it seems that my understanding
of love is still insufficient for you to love me."
"…Look, before we talk about love, maybe you should understand
empathy, or sensitivity…"
The mechanical man who spoke of love without comprehending the scars
inflicted on Sora's heart nodded deeply.
"Understood. I shall go do that and return shortly, Spieler! Please look
forward to it!"
"I ain't looking forward to shit! Leave and don't come back!!"
After thus cutting into Sora's wails with a firm and friendly smile—foop.
The prodigious pervert vanished, taking his gallery of obscenity with him.
"...Phew…"
Peace had been restored to the Shrine. All sighed.
"And when do you plan to return?"
Jibril alone thus murmuring, all followed her eyes to nothing:
"…Reply: This unit will return anytime upon request from Master."
As far as Sora and Shiro could tell—no. There probably hadn't even been
a hint of spirits—
"Emir-Eins?! Huh? You were there?!"
"Acknowledgment: Always."
Even though the Werebeasts apparently hadn't been able to see the Ex
Machina girl who answered Sora's call with a curtsy, she was present.
Optical camouflage. As if it were no big deal.
"…Why are you here? Aren't you going back with the others?"
"Boast: Master commanded this unit to get lost. Therefore, this unit got
lost."
…Sounds like Sora's usual bullshit. Everyone turned their annoyed gazes
on Sora, but something else weighed on his mind.
—Einzig… Well, he's a perverted little weirdo. Never mind him. But why
didn't Emir-Eins act in line with the other Ex Machinas? Apparently she and
Einzig were both "Befehler," but— No, wait, the real thing is…
He'd just realized—Emir-Eins didn't even actively come after him.
"Remarks: Master is the master of this unit. Home position of this unit is by
Master's side. However, position oscillates at night."
Maid robot. Committed to being a maid, apparently.
"Query: Positions supported tonight: top, bottom. Please specify
preference. This unit will make the necessary preparations."
But for being a maid, she was awfully threatening about wanting to make
babies with him. It was as if it was already determined that they were going
to make love.
"…Let me rephrase. Sorry, but go away for a while— Oh, and one thing
first?"
"Concession: Either position equally supported."
"Neither— Wait, what are you talking about…? It's just a question…!"
Sora replied, exhausted.
I really don't get what these Ex Machina are up to, he thought. Maybe
they had some hidden agenda, but for now, he didn't have enough
information to say anything. This was why, so far, he'd had to hold on…and
on…and play the straight man:
"…D00d, what's with the maid costumes?"
Sora managed to get that much out. But—
"Truism: Robots should be maid robots."
"My point is, where the hell did you get that BS?!"
—as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, so shall robots be maid
robots, apparently. Sora couldn't help but groan at this assertion. Did all this
information come from his porn…? No, all the Ex Machinas had been in
maid costumes since they first showed up.
…Sora preferred to forget that there had been a butler.
"Reply: Since end of Great War, Ex Machina has studied question: What is
the meaning of Ex Machina's existence?" asked Emir-Eins softly, yet fluidly.
"Continuation: Hope. Preier transmitted 'heart' to Ex Machina."
She sounded like a recording. A smooth, inorganic playback.
"Recollection: Hope for realization of hope of Spieler—the man she loved."
But as Emir-Eins narrowed her gaze as if staring into a bright light, there
was something about her face—her doll-like, vaguely artificial glass eyes, her
lips—
"Admiration: Answer was persuasive. Approval granted from all units."
Though they belonged to a machine, a mere doll, there was something
within them that shouldn't be there.
"Conclusion: To give all to Master, to serve him, and to be his strength. This
is hope; this is will of unit—of Ex Machina."
Her voice had feeling—yes, what she had was hope.
Silence fell in the stillness of the Annex of the Shrine. Sora awkwardly
opened his mouth to speak.
"Uhhh… You're really making it hard for me to crack jokes here, but…"
He wasn't sure it was appropriate for him to bust the solemn atmosphere
she'd created. But not being able to shake a certain doubt, close to a
conviction, he mustered up the courage to be a wiseass. "…I mean. That
doesn't mean you have to be a maid, does it?"
Even if you took what Emir-Eins was saying seriously, it didn't mean she
had to be a maid. Surely there were other roles that would fulfill her will.
And in any case, the costume was entirely beside the point.
"Acknowledgment: Eight roles match conclusion. Selection of 'maid'—"
Emir-Eins nodded to affirm Sora's doubt. He was right after all. That was
why they didn't act like maids.
"Disclosure: Arbitrary."
—It was arbitrary.
So basically, yeah, they were poseur maids. This made everything make
sense to Sora, and everything seem to not matter anymore to everyone else…
"…Interesting! A bit character such as you means to usurp my master?"
…except for one person— Pardon, body. Article? Unit? Hang on, how did
you count god-killing weapons anyway? Well, whatever, Sora thought,
unable to remember.
"And to think that such a throwaway believes that she can upstage me…
My, my, this won't do at all." Jibril's halo spun more rapidly as she drew
closer to Emir-Eins. "I'm not sure there's room in this story for the two of us.
Let me adjust your characteristics to be more unique—even avant-garde. "
Jibril's wings turned to surging pillars of light as she muddied the spirits
in the air around them. She took a blade of light in hand, proposing to adjust
Emir-Eins's character physically—or rather, put her out of character entirely.
"…H-hey, Jibril…!"
Even Sora and Shiro, who could not sense spirits, were able to perceive
the spiritual compression and wild gust. Jibril wouldn't be able to put her
power into practice—there were the Ten Covenants, after all. She couldn't
hurt anyone. Even so, the aura of violence broke through the reason of the
Shrine Maiden and Ino and made their fur stand on end.
"Rebuttal: This unit was bound to current Master only recently. True."
Only Emir-Eins stood up to Jibril with a placid exterior. Yet, her
emotionless face bore a clear trace of a sneer as she—
"Declaration: This unit had already devoted herself to Master six thousand
years ago. Bit character is you. Insolent. Obstructive. Stupid. However,
property of Master. Cannot destroy for fear of Master's wrath."
—provoked Jibril.
"Allll right! I shouldn't have held you back!! We're done here, right?!"
Sora's panicked squeal was drowned out by the clearly audible rumbling
of animosity.
"You have a pretty big mouth, don't you? Why don't we make it a little
bigger and turn it into a gaping hole? "
"Derision: This unit is capable of eliminating Irregular Number alone with
current armaments. Easy. Master, please authorize demonstration."
"Listen! Listen to me, okay? I was wrong, so just get out of here!
Please!!"
"…Jibril, s-s-sit…"
First, Sora and Shiro's commands made Jibril sit down flat on the floor.
Next, per Sora's request, Emir-Eins prepared to shift.
"…You scrappy little doll."
"Reply: Hen. Lösen: Asura-Apokryphon."
As the two glared at each other with their parting remarks, Emir-Eins
vanished.
Peace had been restored to the Annex of the Shrine—for real this time.
"…You… Just what are you bringing into my house…?" groaned the
Shrine Maiden, now grasping the general gist of things.
"It's not my— Okay, I guess it's my fault… Sorry. We'll go."
"…Shrine Maiden... We're, sorry, okay…?"
Sora objected immediately, then shook his head. He and Shiro both
slumped over and apologized. They were the ones who had come to the
Shrine. From the Shrine Maiden's point of view, all they'd done was cause
trouble. To begin with, they'd come here in order to run from Ex Machina.
And now that Ex Machina knew where they were, they'd probably be back in
a jiffy… In any case, Sora and Shiro had better skedaddle. They'd better have
Jibril shift them somewhere where, this time, they definitely wouldn't find
them—
"Ino Hatsuse. You brought them here, did you? Go help."
"At your command, O Holy Shrine Maiden… But we have no duty to
help them, have we?"
Just as Ino said, the Shrine Maiden had no duty to help Sora and Shiro.
Even when they'd saved her friend—Holou—that was just a matter of using
one another. The trust of a gamer, and all the more so that of an agent
plenipotentiary, was by no means reliance—but—
"We haven't, have we? Still, love, I'd hate to make enemies of those
monsters."
That's right—it was because of a command based on a coolheaded
"calculation" that Ino sat politely before Sora and Shiro.
"…Hmm. So, King Sora, they have mistaken you for the one they love.
This is a most pitiable state of affairs."
"…Uh, yeah… Never would've expected it, but I'm glad you
understand…"
At Ino's serious demeanor, Sora felt a seedling of friendship sprout in his
heart, and then—
"Indeed… Ex Machina is truly to be pitied… What would anyone have to
do to deserve this? Of all possibilities, to fall for a damned monkey like
you…!"
Upon the next words Ino spoke, fist trembling, Sora cursed the illusion.
—Damn you, you old fart.
Sora almost said it, but instead only incorporated the tone of resentment
into his next question.
"Let's be straight, okay…? What can I do to resolve this peacefully?"
It really was no laughing matter. He didn't want them to go extinct, and
he was glad they said they were his allies, but even that was a mistake. If he
slipped up and got on their bad side, in the worst case—so much for his all-
powerful concert equipment.
"…A sleazebag like you must've had experience with misunderstandings
resulting in stalking a few or maybe a thousand times."
Sora would very much appreciate it if one of those experiences had
furthermore resulted in stabbing. Regrettably, though, what with those Ten
Covenants and all, the old fart was not dead yet. But if anyone had some idea
of how to deal with stalkers, Ino Hatsuse should be the guy—not that Sora's
expectations were very high, but he was grasping at straws here.
"…King Sora, what has come over you? I should not expect this."
However—Ino narrowed his eyes keenly.
"It embarrasses me to think how I have been consistently outstripped by
one unable to recognize something so simple."
"...You…what…?"
—Simple?
That was Ino's conclusion, his eyes brimming with a vague
disappointment. He sighed at Sora, who was still befuddled, before spelling it
out.
"Stop being a quivering little virgin and go get laid, you dumb ape."
—So they've got the wrong guy. So what?
The man notorious for thinking with his lower half sneered, displaying his
fangs as well as his true nature.
"Jibril, let's go. This time, somewhere Emir-Eins and the others can't—"
Sora and Shiro got to their feet and prepared to head home as if to say
they'd been mistaken to expect anything for even a second.
"…Sir, could it be that you truly have not realized?"
Still, Ino's voice, sincerely doubtful, deeply surprised, kept them.
"Do you not grasp that the Ex Machinas have a hardware lock that
prevents them from reproducing with those other than specified?"
"Exactly! So how's it gonna help for me to agree to make—?"
"In such a case, you may embrace them as you will. If you are not the
man they seek, reproduction will be impossible."
…
...
...?
"—…Huh? Uh, whuhh…?"
Sora took a whole minute to mull over Ino's words and then produced
some foolish noises. What would happen if he agreed to make babies with
them? He wasn't the guy they were looking for. So the lock would stop him.
There you go. Not the guy. Done.
…No, no, no… Wait, wait, wait. Calm down, Sora, virgin, eighteen!! It
couldn't be, it couldn't be, how could he have missed that—?!
—Something was wrong here. Meanwhile, amidst Sora's confusion, Ino
came in and packed it up.
"The mistake, moreover, originates from them alone. Mistaking you for
someone from six thousand years ago."
"…Uh, yeah… I guess…"
"You must only answer their demands. Who could possibly blame you?"
Ino piled it on. "Once you prove that you are not the man they seek, they will
have no choice but to accept that the man has passed. Their only option will
be to wager the release of their lock in a game with you and lose. After all,
it's that or perish."
…Uh… Huh? I—why did I say no, again…?
An onslaught of perfect logic assailed Sora, when—
"...Brother."
—his little sister's subzero gaze brought him scurrying back to his senses
with a yelp.
"Hey! That's the thing! I can't expose Shiro to R-18—"
"Sir… Please consider the matter calmly. First of all, do you not realize
that this is your only chance to experience sexual intercourse?"
"—Nice job implying that I'll never have another chance, bastard."
…Not that I'm denying it. Sora groaned, but Ino went on.
"I understand that you have your own issues, Sir. But do they justify
allowing Ex Machina to perish?"
"Well, uh… I guess not. But I can't be away from Shiro—"
"You could simply request of Miss Jibril that she block the light and
sound, for Queen Shiro's benefit."
Ino kept settling the issues one after another.
"Is this not preferable to the guilt of having allowed an entire race to cease
to be?"
And yet, Ino's words made the vague unease within Sora rear its head
further and further as if in inverse proportion.
—No. Something was wrong.
Ino's assertions made perfect sense. Clear as day. Could it really be that
he'd overlooked…something so simple? The way the Ex Machinas acted; the
way they'd trapped Sora; the way they came on to him. So many things felt
off. For instance—
"One final comment. They demanded that you choose one of them with
whom to reproduce, as I understand. If this be so—you could very well do
just as they recently proposed. I see no reason to refuse."
Sora half listened to Ino's words, brainstorming ideas and putting them in
order. He struggled to identify what was wrong—and then, at last, he
prostrated himself and came to a solid conclusion.
"Can you not engage them all in intercourse and select one for
reproduction thereafter?"
"I gotta save the robot girls!! Bye, gotta go! Forgive me, O
wise teacher!!"
—He'd just overlooked it!!
How could he have overlooked it? People overlook things!!
"Sorry to impose on you, Shrine Maiden! Jibril, we're going back to
Elkia! Time waits for no one!!"
"…You really know how to impose, at that…"
"Yes, Master. Allow me to prepare for a long-distance shift."
As he was bathed in the Shrine Maiden's icy glare and Jibril's sparkles…
"Maaaan! You know how it is! I'm totally not looking forward to this,
y'know? But what can ya do?! Pretty girls say I have to go save them, I guess
I'll go and give the world a good saving! If heaven wills it, I mean!!"
…Sora's head grew cool, cooler, coolest as he lamented. His folly was
unfathomable… Why hadn't he used common sense? There were twelve
beautiful girls falling over themselves, begging him for it as they changed
their appearance to suit his taste! Made-to-order maid robots coming on to
him! Refuse? Who the hell did he think he was?! Sora, virgin, eighteen!
Don't get so full of yourself, cherry boy!
"…But, Brother, you're not him… You'd be…deceiving them…"
Shiro pouted sullenly at her brother's fierce self-flagellation. Normally,
this would be enough to stop Sora, but today—
"I would… But if it's what it takes to save someone, your brother will lie,
cheat, and steal…" Sora answered, his gaze merciful, as if taking on
mankind's original sin. "Even if I am hated for it, even if I am blamed
forevermore! I shall accept the responsibility…for all."
As Sora spoke of love and benevolence for all things living without
reward, his eyes sparkled with the anticipation of a filthy kickback for his
base desires.
"Now, let us say adieu to Sora, virgin, eighteen! And sally forth to
welcome Sora, non-virgin, eighteen!!"
Sora's call to arms toward his future was met with a mumble.
"…Mm? Umm… Sir. I think you may be a bit confused?"
"Is that so, Teacher?! Then guide your foolish apprentice! Yeah!"
Sora tapped his foot as Ino pondered.
"Well… Sir, they are machines. Not only that, but presenting themselves
on the basis of your pornography…"
"That is so! Have you no objections?!"
While noticing that Jibril seemed to be taking much longer to prepare for
a shift than usual, Ino carefully mentioned the hypothesis he'd formed to
address this difficult question.
"Might they not be considered…a mere masturbation aid…?"
...
"Well. How do I put this? King Sora, a non-virgin? …Ha. Impossible."
...
Then, all of a sudden… All the threads, all the missing pieces—Sora felt
them all come together.
"Ah… I see… That's what it was…" He spoke softly, with a smile of an
ascetic who had just achieved nirvana. "Jibril… Sorry for the trouble—can
we change our destination?"
"—Eh? Ah, yes. Well then…where shall we set our course?"
At last he could see everything, what was behind all those countless
weights. The true nature of Ex Machina's words and actions, and most of all
—
"Anywhere… Just as long as they can't find us, anywhere…"
In short: Tee-hee-hee! Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Why hadn't he
thought of such a simple solution?
—It wasn't that he hadn't thought of it. Deep down, he knew.
"…If it sounds too good to be true… Ha-ha… I knew it…"
Sora, the virgin eighteen-year-old, knew it wouldn't be happening to him
any time soon. Shedding a tear for the binding nature of the world—the self-
correcting nature of history—Sora and his crew leaped through space.
The red moon shone on the island of Kannagari. Sora and Shiro walked a
residential area on the outskirts. They were very near the house of a little
Werebeast girl they knew, Izuna Hatsuse.
"…This is pretty close to the Shrine… Is Ex Machina really not going to
find us here?" Sora had totally thought that they'd be warping to the other
side of the world.
"N-no… It's like what they say in your world about being right under
one's nose—" Jibril was beaming confidently, but appeared exhausted. "I
made a long-distance shift intentionally to a nearby location, and I severed
the crack in space. Even Ex Machina is incapable of reopening severed space,
and little could they expect that we used this much power to go three hundred
kilometers."
—Not that Sora or Shiro had any idea what she meant by "severing
space."
"…To think that even you get this worn out shaking off Ex Machina…
Damn."
"Well, they may be worn-out ancient rubbish, but they are my
acknowledged enemies who slew Artosh, god of war."
Jibril sounded weirdly excited, but Sora thought:
—Really?
They were some kind of bullshit, you could say. Rank Ten, my ass—the
system's gotta be rigged. According to Jibril's records, it had been because
they couldn't use magic—but, d00d. They'd designed virtual spirit junction
nerves—those taillike cables—and made equipment to murder spirits like
gasoline to produce the same effects as magic. Apparently, it wasn't
technically magic. But that brought them neck and neck with Jibril. Such
bullshit. And then the Ten Covenants counted Elementals among the "sixteen
seeds," so Ex Machina couldn't kill spirits anymore. Magical shit be damned,
they shouldn't even have been able to operate after that—but here they were.
—They'd adapted. They'd realized they couldn't use gasoline anymore
and adopted renewable energy. Probably in a flash. These guys were so OP it
wasn't even funny—but. If Sora had faced these OP hacks—and they'd
really slain Artosh—
"…By the way, Master, is it really all right? That is, not to return to
Elkia?"
Sora, who'd been lost in thought, twitched and stopped.
"Ah— Oh no! Of course, Master, I have no intention of interfering in your
decision!"
Seeing this, Jibril hurriedly descended from the air, folded her wings, and
knelt—
"It is my sentiment that, considering how preposterous it would be to
bequeath your noble chastity to these poor imitators of my service to you, it
would be more appropriate for you to use your first slave first, that is, your
humble servant—"
"…That's not…the point…! Jibril, freeze…"
Jibril was sliding sideways from an apology to an entreaty, starting to
remove her clothes, when Shiro halted her process. But both the frozen
Jibril's gaze and that of the Shiro who froze her asked the same question.
—Why'd you give up on the hanky-panky?
Meeting their gazes, Sora smirked…heh.
"Is it all right, you ask? Ha-ha… Like hell it's all right! Shit!!"
The very rude and inconsiderate scream that echoed through the entire
neighborhood caused Shiro to swing her hands over her ears.
"To what extent must I be cockblocked?! Just how far does this world
intend to test me, huh?!"
The floodgates had been broken, and his rancor could not subside. In
tears, Sora thought:
—Okay, fine, whatever! So there's no sex? Sure, that's cool, too!! I get it,
already!! I've got enough culture not to demand hardcore smut out of a
cheesecake game!! But, d00d!
"Why you gotta bait me?! You put in hardcore assets, the characters, the
art, the whole damn scene, and then you say there's no way to trigger it—you
corporate assholes have a bug in your brains!!"
Debug your damn game! Sora was about to scream next—but wait. The
debuggers and programmers aren't to blame, he corrected himself, shaking
his head.
"Yeah. I guess it is possible if you want to. I could go back to Elkia right
now and have a harem."
You could trigger the scene. You could play it.