What is this I am feeling, pain and rage. Waking up impaled on a rock, my wings snapped and twisted at odd angles, is not how I envision the battle ending. Why am I the one here while the ones who schemed remain in my father's house. Who is going to warn him of their plans.
"Ro, you need to worry about yourself now. Father will always be at the top of every situation. He probably already knows what is coming," I whisper to myself. Then why did he not stop Mahalel from backstabbing me. Oh no, that is a thought I am not to think. Everything has a reason.
Pain. I am groaning as I try to lift myself from the rock that has impaled me, but it is impossible with my wings broken. I try once more before giving up and lying still.
"We plan to go to earth to have some fun, want to come."
I look around for the source of the voice before realizing those were the very words Mahalel first spoke to me, the words that spiraled into raging betrayal.
"Lucifer came up with a sweet idea, and knowing you, I think you might want to join in."
"Knowing me, you should know Lucifer is the last angel I want to be associated with. He is mischievous. He has done nothing but question everything Father says and does. When Father made the humans, it was he who raged for years about it."
"Well, this is about the humans," Mahalel says, wearing a twisted smile I have never seen on him before. Being my sworn mate for eternity, though his rank is lower than mine, I have seen him make all kinds of faces but this is new.
"You have been corrupted. Get thee behind me."
"Easy, Ro, easy. We are just going to tempt a few of them. We want to show Father the true colors of these imperfect beings he made."
"Did Father tell you he is unaware of their imperfection. That is why they are human and not gods. It is so they will always need us, to give purpose to the thousands of angels who have lived idle for centuries. Do you not see that this is a good thing he has done."
"No." Mahalel snaps in anger.
"It is easy for you to say, Ro. You, a cherub who sits at Father's feet, listening to the tales of the eons he walked the universe alone, creating the cosmos, building homes for each angel before forming us. You get to tend to him, answer to him, while we answer to inferior beings who cannot make decisions without us cleaning their mess. I will not be subject to such insult again."
"This is not you, Maha. What has Lucifer done to you." I tut. Mahalel turns sharply toward me, his eyes brimming with fury.
"You will never know what it feels like to never be needed in heaven, to only be summoned to earth at the beck and call of humans. You were not there. You did not know what it was like. And I think you need to."
In the blink of an eye, he is brandishing his sword of fire, but this time it is laced with something different, something that sparks like lightning. A potion.
"Mahalel, what have you… dooonn…" The words trail off as he stabs me and pulls me close into a broken embrace.
"I love you, Ro. But you cannot love me because you do not know what it is like to be me. Now you will."
With that, he lifts me into his arms and carries me to the portal that bridges heaven and earth.
"You will pay for this, Mahalel. I do not care how long it takes, I will make you pay," I manage to croak before he flings me down. After free falling for what feels like days, I finally hit this rock, the one that now holds my pain, my sorrow, my betrayal. My arrival to earth. My broken wings.
My angelic form is damaged, my wings clipped. Will I ever love again. Will I ever see heaven again. Will I ever see Father again. A thousand years on earth is as a day in heaven. Before Father even notices I am gone, I will have spent centuries in purgatory. This is my last thought before tears stream down my face.
I am weeping for Mahalel, who has given himself to the wrong cause. I am weeping for Lucifer, whose darkness consumed him. I am weeping for Father, who loves and forgives these vagabonds every time they rebel. And lastly, I am weeping for myself because I do not deserve this. I do not know how long it will take to heal, but Mahalel and Lucifer will pay.
Season after season, I am watching the earth change. I am watching trees bloom, their leaves fall, their roots die. I do not know how long I have lived on this mountain, begrudging Mahalel and hoping Father would send for me. But he loves his humans so much, he only returns to heaven after tending to them, and that could be a long time.
If I am going to get Father's attention, I have to become human.
A hundred years after my fall, I am sharpening a rock until it is as keen as a sword. With pain and tears of blood, I clip my own wings. Day by day, I dig into the mountain, carving a cave deep into the earth to bury them. I roll great stones to block the entrance, sealing it with ancient runes, the language of the cherubim which even angels like Mahalel do not speak. It was Father's gift to us, a tongue that is a command. At the sound of it, no being but God can resist the order.
Human. I have to become human.
I speak to the rock in the ancient tongue. "Hear me, mountain. I go forth now to become as the humans, to learn their ways and to take their form. They are limited in memory and their minds cannot fathom the truth of the cosmos and the ancients. The moment I rid myself of this form and take theirs, I may forget who I am. I beseech you now, oh mountain, that whenever my soul incarnates and reincarnates till my thousand years of doom is done, call to my soul. Open this cave that has been sealed and remind me of who I am. Show me my wings. Show me the dreams of who I am and how I got here. I shall leave with you my immortal body. Keep it safe till the day of my return, and open not for anyone who is not I, Roenchuleth, Father's favorite daughter and Cherubim, Latamayarathejchikcuzek."
At the sound of the ancient spell, the runes I carve into the mountain glow and the stones I roll at the mouth of the cave melt. The mountain becomes as though it has never been dug, whole again.
I dig the earth at the feet of the mountain, twelve feet for angels, six for humans, that is what Father taught us. Twelve because that is the level at which the earth reincarnates immortal souls and preserves immortal bodies from decay.
As I dig, the rain begins, pouring heavier than I have ever seen since I fell a hundred years ago. The heavens must know that an ancient one is doomed. As soon as twelve feet is done, I say the prayer of the angels and fall into the pit, just as I fell from heaven the day Mahalel betrayed me. But this time, I do it for my redemption, and everyone involved in my doom will pay when I return home to serve at the feet of my Father.
I wait for the earth to hear my command and close up over me. The rain becomes heavier and it is clear there will be a flood, a great flood. The heavens are crying. I see flashes in the sky. The angels are fighting. Mahalel and Lucifer must be behind this war. How many more angels will they banish to their doom before Father stops forgiving them. How many more.
At this thought, the earth closes over me and I feel a root from the ground plug itself into the core of my soul, stabbing deep and absorbing my life force. Slowly, I am slipping out of consciousness. I know what happens now, I have seen it many times. My spirit will be carried to the ocean, where a sorrowful wife will be crying to the God of spirits for a child. The roots of the soil that take souls will send a soul after her, and she will conceive, reincarnating the soul of one who had died before.
Nothing on earth exists that has not been before. Until the day Father chooses, nothing is getting out of here. That includes me. Earth is a dome carefully crafted. Farewell, Ro, till the day you breathe again.