"Rukia?"
A gentle call snapped Rukia out of her daze. She turned and came face-to-face with Momo's face—far too close.
"Huh? Oh—sorry. What were you saying?"
Rukia jerked back instinctively, leaning away with an awkward smile.
They were sitting beneath a sakura tree on the stone steps near the Academy's teaching building, watching the white uniforms of students pass by in scattered motion.
Momo tilted her head, confused. "You've been acting weird all day. Spaced out in class, distracted whenever I talk to you."
"Have I? Maybe I'm just not feeling well."
Rukia tossed out an excuse.
"Now that you mention it, your complexion is a little off." Momo reached out and brushed Rukia's cheek gently, then glanced up at the blazing afternoon sun.
She unscrewed the cap of her water bottle, dipped her fingers in, and lightly tapped the cool droplets to Rukia's face.
"Feeling better now?"
The chill of Momo's fingertips made Rukia's lashes tremble. The cicadas in the trees suddenly felt deafening. She stared at Momo's bright, carefree smile—and it felt like a shard of glass was stuck in her throat.
The events of last night rushed back again, looping through her mind like a broken tape. I feel like I'm trapped in the Dangai, she thought.
"Yeah, much better," Rukia replied with a smile.
"Still not used to living at the Kuchiki estate? Maybe you should talk to them—see if they'll let you move back to the Academy dorms. Then we could share a room again."
"It's fine. Things are actually okay there." Rukia shook her head softly.
Momo didn't press the issue. Her gaze shifted to the stone path scattered with fallen petals.
"Yesterday, when I was chatting with Kira and Renji, we talked about what divisions we want to join after graduation. Do you know where Renji wants to go?"
Rukia thought for a moment. "I actually never asked him."
Momo smiled faintly. "He said he wants to join the Eleventh Division. Honestly, it suits his whole... everything."
Rukia laughed. "It really does."
"But... if Renji goes to the Eleventh, what about you?" Momo asked abruptly.
Rukia's smile froze. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you'll probably end up in the Sixth Division, right? If he joins the Eleventh, you two won't see each other much anymore."
The silver bells on Momo's hairpin jingled as she tilted her head. They'd picked it out together in Rukongai just a few days ago, but now, under the sun, it shimmered with a cold glint.
Momo had always looked after her—cheerful, outgoing, far more connected than Rukia within the student council. She'd helped her countless times, even resolving issues with upperclassmen who liked to make trouble.
Momo was wonderful—so kind, so strong, so full of light. She deserved every good thing the world had to offer.
But there are always exceptions.
"Momoko," Rukia said quietly, "if Renji really wants to join the Eleventh, then as his friends, we should support him. Letting something that doesn't even exist become a burden—wouldn't that be worse?"
A whole cherry blossom landed on the back of Rukia's hand. She picked it up absentmindedly and crushed it between her fingers. Pink juice seeped into the calluses of her palm.
Momo chuckled. "Well, I'm not you. What is your relationship with him, anyway?"
Rukia gave a soft laugh too.
"You're right. We've never even talked about post-graduation stuff. I'll ask him properly sometime."
Her voice was calm—the same kind of calm Nobu had when he said those words the night before.
That calmness made her voice clear and steady, as though it had gained weight.
Rukia suddenly recalled a dozen random things: smoothing out the creases in the president's uniform while he napped in the council office, the heat on her face when he patted her head...
Her eyes were bright and still—but something about her gaze made Momo's chest tighten without reason.
Momo spoke again. "You know, we might not see each other much after graduation either. You'll be in the Sixth, and I want to join the Fourth. Just thinking about that feels... off."
"Then why not come to the Sixth too?"
"Me?"
Momo gave a laugh—carefree, like always. "No thanks."
She caught a glimpse of the pink pulp and sticky petals smeared on Rukia's hand. It was far too vivid. It unsettled her.
...
Evening.
Rukia couldn't find Nobu in the student council office, so she sat down alone in his chair, fingers absentmindedly running over the documents on his desk. The sunset spilled through the glass, falling across her lightly furrowed brow and casting a current of unspoken thoughts.
There was one good thing about joining the Kuchiki household.
She didn't live at the Academy anymore. Once afternoon classes ended, her time was her own. No one came looking for her now.
So no one knew she was sitting alone in the student council office.
"Rukia?"
Nobu pushed the door open, holding a stack of freshly sorted papers.
"President!"
Rukia jumped up immediately, body stiff and awkward.
"Something wrong?"
"No..."
Nobu laughed. "Then why are you still here?"
"...There is something."
He set the papers down, poured two glasses of water, and pressed one gently to her cheek. The warmth startled her, and she looked up—right into the curve of his smile.
"Go ahead," he said.
Silence.
Go ahead and... say what?
Rukia clutched the cup in both hands, but her words caught in her throat. The water rippled with each tremble of her fingers.
Outside the window, students scattered across the courtyard. Nobu stood tall, one hand resting on the desk, the other holding his drink. The last rays of sunlight fell across one shoulder; the other side of his face had already faded into twilight.
"President."
Her voice was soft, like it might dissolve into the dying sunlight. "If... I mean, what if—someone is so afraid of losing something that they don't even dare to reach for it? Isn't that kind of stupid?"
"Who knows?"
Nobu chuckled. "I'm no expert at giving life advice."
What kind of answer is that... Or maybe he just doesn't want to answer at all.
Rukia looked down, drinking her water in silence.
Then he turned to her and asked, "Rukia, did I trouble you?"
Her first instinct was to say no. In the past, if the president had asked her something like that, she would've immediately denied it. But this time—she didn't.
Because he had troubled her. She hadn't slept at all last night.
After what happened, he'd acted completely unaffected, like it had nothing to do with him.
Meanwhile, she had spiraled, her heart upended and overflowing with a chaotic mess of feelings she still hadn't sorted through.
The president...
He's so frustrating!
She lowered her eyes, lashes trembling—until she was suddenly cast in shadow. Nobu had stepped closer.
His fingers brushed lightly along her cheek. More intimate than any of his previous gestures.
Rukia's breathing hitched.
Fine. Whatever. He already said what he said.
But just as she steeled herself, his fingertips moved to her lips, stroking gently. Her heart jumped into her throat.
She looked up—and met his eyes.
No. No. No!
Her mind screamed, but her body froze. She was terrified. Afraid of what he might do next—afraid of what she couldn't undo.
He's not going to kiss me, is he?
Her thoughts blanked.
But then his soft voice broke the silence:
"Rukia... did I do something wrong?"
"..."
"Maybe... I should've asked for something instead. Maybe then you wouldn't be so conflicted. Right?"
"Then why didn't you?" Rukia blurted—she didn't know where the boldness came from.
"Because I didn't want to," Nobu said simply.
Rukia frowned. "Why not?"
"There's no reason. I just didn't want to."
And he didn't kiss her. He withdrew his hand instead.
Rukia let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Because she honestly didn't know—if he had kissed her—whether she would've pulled away.
"So Rukia," he said quietly, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do either."
She stared at him for a long time.
And in the end, she came to one conclusion:
He just doesn't want to force anyone—not even himself.
Rukia looked down into her cup. The water inside shimmered faintly, carrying a melancholy glow that only twilight could give—a feeling not yet named, not yet still.
---
T/N: i guess momoko is a nickname and ARGHHH NOBU
"Mm. If you've read this far, I suppose you're at least a little invested."
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Say thank you to Maomao guys