Chapter 7: A Serpent's Glance
The sound of shattering earth made Hyuga Shinra turn back. His eyes widened slightly as he took in the cratered street radiating out from Tsunade's feet, a spiderweb of fractures spanning a good ten meters in diameter.
*So violent,* he thought, a phantom pain twinging in his own ribs. *A single direct hit from that would cripple me, Sage Body or not.* His own physical training, augmented by the Marine Six Styles, was formidable for his age, but it couldn't produce this level of raw, destructive power. And he knew this wasn't even her full strength. It was a terrifying display.
He shot a pitying look at Jiraiya. *Time to make myself scarce. I can't afford to get on their radar yet. I'll deal with these legends when I'm one myself.*
Just as he began to subtly shift his weight to leave, a desperate, sweating Jiraiya pointed a finger directly at him.
"Tsunade! That kid who mocked you is trying to slip away!"
Shinra froze. If looks could kill, the one he shot at Jiraiya would have reduced the white-haired boy to ash. *So much for a clean exit.*
Forced into the spotlight, Shinra didn't panic. Instead, he adopted an expression of pure, childish innocence, tilting his head.
"Uncle? When did I ever mock the beautiful lady?" he asked, his voice dripping with feigned confusion. "I was just thinking to myself, how can such a stunning sister be walking with someone as... unrefined as you?"
The words "Uncle" and "unrefined" seemed to hang in the air, physically striking Jiraiya. The color drained from his face, and he seemed to shrink, a gray aura of despair clouding around him.
"Pfft!" A genuine, amused laugh escaped Tsunade. The anger bled from her posture as she strode over to Shinra, reaching down to pinch his cheek. "You're a sharp one. Whose kid are you? You've got a silver tongue."
Shinra endured the cheek-pinching, a necessary sacrifice for his act. "It's not a silver tongue if it's the truth," he said, widening his starry-blue eyes for maximum effect. "You're the most beautiful lady I've ever seen."
It wasn't a lie. Despite her youthful, less-endowed form, Tsunade's features were striking, carrying a confidence that was captivating. He just carefully omitted any specific details.
"I like a kid who knows how to tell the truth!" Tsunade declared, her mood visibly brightening. In a world where most saw her as just the Slug Princess or a brute, a compliment on her appearance was a rare and pleasant thing.
*Heh... hehehe,* Shinra's mind chuckled darkly, his face a perfect mask of adorable sincerity. *She's really not humble at all.*
Jiraiya, emerging from his stupor, scowled. "Don't be fooled, Tsunade! This kid is slick, not honest at all!" He was still stung by the "uncle" comment.
"Ooh~~" Shinra cooed, turning his innocent gaze back to Jiraiya. "So, Uncle, you're saying I'm lying? Do *you* think this sister isn't pretty?"
The temperature around Tsunade seemed to drop several degrees. Her sunny expression vanished, replaced by a thunderous glare fixed solely on Jiraiya.
Jiraiya looked from Tsunade's cold eyes to Shinra's triumphantly smug face, and felt the world was deeply unfair. He, a budding spymaster, had been completely outmaneuvered by a toddler.
The usually silent Orochimaru, who had been observing the entire exchange with detached interest, finally spoke, his voice a cold whisper. "Idiot."
For once, Jiraiya didn't retort. He just stood there, a man genuinely questioning his own intellect.
"Jiraiya," Tsunade's voice was low and dangerous, a few strands of her blonde hair twitching. "What exactly did you mean earlier?"
"Can you... maybe hit me a little lighter?" Jiraiya pleaded, swallowing hard. "We have a mission tomorrow..."
Tsunade answered with a humorless smirk.
"Sister," Shinra interjected, tugging gently on Tsunade's sleeve and pouring on the charm. "Maybe you should just let it go. He doesn't seem to be *pretending* to be stupid."
A flicker of gratitude sparked in Jiraiya's eyes. *Maybe this kid isn't so bad—*
The thought died as Shinra finished his sentence. "I think he might genuinely be a bit slow. His IQ seems to be in desperate need of a recharge."
"Pfft!" Tsunade burst out laughing again, ruffling Shinra's hair affectionately. "Your hair is so soft," she murmured, more to herself.
Shinra fought down a wave of irritation. Being petted like a family pet grated on his adult sensibilities, even if the one doing the petting was a future legend.
"Aha. How intriguing," Orochimaru murmured, his snake-like eyes narrowing on Shinra. The boy had remained completely unruffled by Tsunade's earlier explosive display of killing intent, something that would have made a seasoned Genin flinch. This subtle detail had not escaped his analytical gaze.
Shinra, for his part, remained unaware that he had just drawn the attention of the most perceptive member of the Sannin. Not that he would have been overly concerned; the current Orochimaru was still a loyal Konoha shinobi, not the rogue monster he would become. Even if a conflict arose, Shinra was confident in his ability to escape.
Meanwhile, Jiraiya had retreated into a corner, literal tears streaming down his face as he muttered to himself, utterly crushed by Shinra's verbal onslaught.
"And he was already ugly," Shinra added, delivering the final blow with a sweet smile. "Now he looks like a sad toad."
That was the last straw. "AHHH! You brat! I'll fight you!" Jiraiya roared, leaping to his feet and pointing a dramatic finger at Shinra.
Shinra responded with a mocking laugh and a look of pure, unadulterated pity.
Tsunade and Orochimaru mirrored the expression, both turning to stare at Jiraiya as if he'd lost his mind.
"What? What is it?" Jiraiya asked, bewildered by their unified disdain.
"Idiot."
"Dueling a child, Jiraiya?" Tsunade said, her hands on her hips. "Do you even have a shred of dignity left?"
The reality of the situation finally crashed down on Jiraiya. Fighting a child was a no-win scenario. Victory meant he was a bully; defeat meant he was humiliated for all time. Either way, his reputation—and by extension, his teacher, the Third Hokage's—would be dragged through the mud. He deflated completely, the fight gone out of him.