Warm lips press against mine, dragging me from the depths of sleep. The softness, the taste of strawberry lip gloss, the gentle way fingers thread through my hair, it all feels so familiar.
Summer.
My Summer.
The kiss deepens, and I instinctively pull her onto my lap, my hands finding her waist in the darkness behind my closed eyelids.
But something's wrong.
This isn't Summer's kiss. The taste is all wrong. Summer never uses strawberry. The body in my arms is different too, more angular, less familiar curves. My brain, still foggy with sleep and withdrawal, struggles to catch up with what my body already knows.
Summer at Taevion's house. The backpack. Her shocked face as I drove away.
My eyes fly open, and reality crashes in with brutal clarity.
Jenna is straddling me on her couch, her pink hair falling in a curtain around our faces as she kisses me with desperate intensity. Tears stream down her cheeks, dripping onto my face, salty against my lips. Her entire body shudders with silent sobs even as she presses herself against me.
"Jenna, stop," I gasp, pulling away and gripping her shoulders to create distance between us. "What are you doing?"
She collapses against my chest, her body heaving with sobs that seem torn from somewhere deep and broken inside her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she wails, her fingers clutching at my t-shirt like she's drowning. "I just thought... I wanted... please don't hate me."
I gently shift her off me, setting her beside me on the couch where I spent the night after we flushed her stash and talked late into the night about starting over. My head pounds with the remnants of whatever Summer had been dosing me with, my body still screaming for relief I refuse to give it.
"I don't hate you," I say, rubbing my eyes and trying to fully wake up. "But that can't happen, Jenna."
Jenna's sobs grow even more violent, her entire body shaking with the force of them. She curls into herself, drawing her knees up to her chest as if trying to physically hold herself together.
"No, no, no," she chokes out between ragged breaths. "You don't understand. I... I fucked up."
"What?" I ask, reaching for her trembling shoulder, unsure how to handle this sudden emotional breakdown. "Just breathe, okay? Try to calm down."
She shakes her head frantically, pink hair whipping across her tear-streaked face. She draws in a shuddering breath, her chest heaving with the effort to control herself enough to speak.
"I fucked up so bad, Scott," she whispers, voice raw and broken. "So fucking bad."
My stomach tightens with dread. "Did you use while I slept? Is that what this is about?" I glance around the apartment, looking for signs of fresh drug use, wondering if she had another stash hidden away.
"No, not that..." She wipes roughly at her face, smearing tears across her cheeks. Her eyes finally meet mine, filled with such naked guilt it makes my breath catch. "For the past year... since we reconnected at the meetings... I've been trying to ruin your life."
I blink at her, certain I've misheard. "What?"
"At that dinner with your wife... I put something in your drink. I wanted you to relapse." She continues, words spilling out like poison she needs to purge.
The revelation hits me like a physical blow. I pull back from her, creating distance as my mind struggles to process what she's saying.
"You did what?" My voice sounds strange, hollow.
"But TJ drank it instead," she says, fresh tears streaming down her face. "And then I told Summer you were using again. I wanted her to leave you, to make you vulnerable so I could... so I could..."
"So you could what, Jenna?" I demand, anger beginning to bubble beneath my shock.
She flinches at my tone but continues, "Make you suffer like I suffered. You're the one who gave me my first pill, Scott. You ruined my life, and I just wanted you to feel what that was like."
The accusation stuns me. Memories from college flash through my mind, parties, pills passed around, the casual way we all played with fire before some of us got burned. I was just trying to be nice.
"Oh my God." The words tumble from my mouth, simple and inadequate for the crushing guilt suddenly weighing on my chest.
Jenna's tear-streaked face softens unexpectedly. She wipes her nose with her sleeve.
"But then last night happened," she says, her voice steadier now. "You helped me when you could have just walked away. And I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking stupid I've been." She laughs bitterly, shaking her head. "It's not like you ever made me take anything. You were just offering them to everyone at those parties."
"Alright," I say quietly, just letting her talk, trying to process this bizarre confession.
"And I remember..." she continues, staring at her hands. "I remember you seemed interested in me at the meetings, and I thought maybe..."
Jenna's voice trails off as she dissolves into tears again, her entire body shaking with the force of her sobs. "I'm sorry," she chokes out between ragged breaths. "I just wanted you to feel the same pain I felt."
I sit there, watching her fall apart, and I'm struck by the absurdity of my situation. Two days ago, I had a wife who I thought was trying to rebuild our marriage. Now I know she was drugging me while probably while cheating on me, and I'm sitting with a woman who deliberately tried to destroy my sobriety out of revenge.
A long sigh escapes me as I weigh my options. I'm surrounded by women who seem determined to ruin my life in different ways. Summer is clearly a lost cause, whatever twisted love she feels for me has mutated into something dangerous and unrecognizable. But Jenna... despite everything she's just confessed, I can't help but see someone desperate for help.
I glance at my watch. 10 AM.
"Thank god I called in all my vacation time last night," I mutter, more to myself than to Jenna.
Her sobbing quiets slightly as she looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes, clearly confused by my non-sequitur.
"Hey," I say, making a sudden decision. "Let's go to a meeting."
"What?" Jenna sniffles, wiping her nose with her sleeve.
"Last night, after you went to your room, I was looking for places we could go where summer wouldn't find us," I explain. "There's an NA meeting a few towns over at noon. If we leave soon, we can make it."
Jenna stares at me like I've lost my mind. "You want to go to a meeting right now? After everything I just told you?"
I meet her gaze steadily. "I think both of us could really use it."
"But I tried to drug you," she says, her voice small and bewildered. "I wanted to destroy your life."
"And I gave you your first pill without thinking about the consequences," I counter. "We've both done damage. The question is what we do now."
Jenna's shoulders slump as she considers this. After a moment, she nods slowly. "Okay," she whispers. "I'll go."