Monaka and Kotone threw their entire fortunes at me out of nowhere.
Two gold tickets peeked out of the booklets they held out. Both shone gold, and each had the profile of one of the girls printed on it. What shocked me more than that was the number of zeroes. At a glance I could not even count how many zeros were strung together.
I was confused in more ways than one.
"No, I really can't accept this..."
"Kieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
That bizarre shriek, well on its way to becoming a school landmark, cut in.
"No! Absolutely not, zamasu! Giving tickets to the trash... I mean, the students of the Special Training Class is not allowed!"
Monaka and Kotone snapped their heads up and protested, furious.
"Why, Vice Principal!? Leopin is always taking care of me! You said we could use them to show our gratitude!"
"Indeed! I too receive the master's guidance day after day! My gratitude is so overwhelming that words cannot begin to cover it!"
"N-no! Gratitude is something an inferior offers to a superior, zamasu! The two of you are far, far greater than Leopin!"
"That is not true! Leopin is much more amazing than someone like me!"
"Indeed! There is no gentleman as splendid as the master!"
"A-anyway, no means no, zamasu!"
Monaka and Kotone would not let it go.
"Then a thank-you gift is fine, right!? Leopin built me a wonderful house!"
"I am studying under the master! If I offer this ticket as my monthly tuition, there is nothing strange about that at all, is there!?"
"Guh...! Gunununu...!"
The vice principal flinched.
Payment for a house, and tuition. Those were ordinary transactions. If he denied them, he might as well be denying the tickets themselves.
He stood there like a frog stared down by two snakes, grease-sweat pouring off him. At last he forced out a voice like his guts were being twisted.
"Guh... gugigigigi...! Th-then, the lowest denomination, one ticket only, you may give him that, zamasu...!"
"Thank you!" Monaka and Kotone said together, beaming.
I figured that ruling was not so bad. A whole booklet would have been too much, but one lowest-denomination ticket could not be that much money.
That was a serious mistake.
The two of them happily tore the bills out of the booklets and offered them with both hands, careful and formal. I saw the face value and my eyes nearly popped out.
"T-ten million!?"
Yes. 10,000,000. Seven zeroes.
The students who had turned into gawkers shouted, "Ehhh!?"
"No way!? That's the lowest denomination!?"
"You serious!? My most expensive ticket is only 10,000 Ender!"
"Well, if you can order girls like them around, that much might be cheap."
"Amazing! That's a saintess and a shrine maiden from famous houses for you!"
I hesitated over whether to take twenty million Ender in total. Both girls were looking up at me, eyes sparkling with expectation.
...Well, I did not have to spend it. If this was what it took for them to be satisfied, I would just accept it quietly.
I held out both hands and took the two bills at once. They should have been light paper. They felt strangely heavy, as if the girls' bodies and hearts were packed inside.
Only then did the vice principal yelp, "Gyaa!?", like someone had stepped on his foot.
"W-wait, that just now is canceled, zamasu! If the trash receives them first, something terrible will happen, zamasu!"
It was already too late.
The ranking board on the stage clattered, and then...
"Kieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!?!? Stop, stop, stoooooop!!!"
The vice principal sprinted back to the stage with a face like he was about to die. He grabbed a nearby chair, ready to smash the ranking board. In that instant the board updated.
1st place: Special Training Class, 20,000,000 Ender
With a clunk, a class of one person ranked in.
"Kieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
The vice principal, now running a bargain sale on bizarre shrieks, swung the chair down and slammed the board, trying to erase the result. Eyes gone mad, he hoisted the chair again with a "Zamasuuu!"
The students backed off the stage like a retreating tide. The teachers nearby pinned the vice principal.
"P-please calm down, Vice Principal! This Magic Board is on loan from the court magic research institute!"
Nick Bakka, the P.E. teacher, slapped him with a crack, and the vice principal came back to himself. In front of the whole school, he finally broke down crying.
"Ugh... uuuuh! This time, this time I thought I could finally give out the prize, zamasu...! If I kept that trash's tickets at zero, I thought he would be shut out of circulation, zamasu...!"
The ranking board clattered again, and the ranking updated.
1st place: Special Training Class, 21,000,000 Ender
I looked down and found a third ticket in my coat pocket. Face value: 1,000,000. Six zeroes. The portrait was Akemi, winking.
Akemi herself was pretending she had nothing to do with it.
"Nfufu. My ticket is not paper money. It is the wind. It blows where it likes and goes where it wants to go. That is all."
Before I knew it, another ticket was fluttering in front of my face. It hung from something like a fishing rod made of a tree branch and vine. I followed the line and found Shinobuko holding the rod.
"Nin nin, uri uri. Take it if you can..."
She patted my face with the ticket, pet pet.
I swept a hand up and snatched it. Shwip!
Shinobuko's eyes went wide. "Nin!?"
1st place: Special Training Class, 21,100,000 Ender
Face value: 100,000. Five zeroes. The portrait was Shinobuko with dead-fish eyes.
Until this morning my cash on hand had been zero, and my tickets had been worth zero. In the time it took to hold morning assembly, I had become the richest person in the school.
Next time: another round of face-stomping revenge.