Welcome to Obudu
Monnie
Nothing would have prepared me for the beauty of the place Sade booked me into. I've always heard about Obudu, but I've never been there. And the fact that they were hosting this retreat meant even more beauty, more serenity. From billboards stuck on tall poles to beautify the resort and announce the retreat, to pointers placed strategically to help campers locate their places.
My car sputters to a stop in front of the reception, where we were meant to pick up our room keys. I grab my pink Puma print Birkin, throw on my matching pink Puma print Ray Bans, and make my way to the front desk. I adjust the scarf around my neck to cover my lips. I don't want anyone recognizing me for now, plus, I need to hide my swollen face. I've been crying seriously.
Dele really hurt me. For seven years, I learned to lean on him. I used to be hyper independent. I hated taking from men for this same reason. I avoided opening up my heart to people who could break it. But when I found Dele, I thought he was the one. I thought he was Mr. Right, and for seven years, he kept that facade. I was stuck in an illusion.
Little did I know that he was a dog the whole time. He had been that way since day one. If I had suspected, I would have found evidence, but the whole time I didn't even bother to dig. I had gotten a message a few years ago from a woman alleging that she was pregnant for him, but I ignored it because it was unbelievable. Dele was too sweet to be a two-timing bastard, but I guess he was a two-timing bastard after all.
As I walk up the stairs, the Ray-Bans must have blocked my side view because I bump into a guy who immediately lets out a cuss word in fancy English.
"Excuse me, watch where you're going," he says with anger coating his face. Disgusted by his expression, I respond,
"No, you watch where you're going."
"What do you mean? You bumped into me."
"Your eyes are wide open. I assume you're not blind, and you must have seen me."
"Woman! I didn't ask you for an apology, just simple instruction. Watch where you're going. You women, eh! Simple instruction, you behave like goats."
"At least I only behave like a goat. You men are lying, cheating bastards who behave like dogs. And you are a special flavor of men. You have agbero written all over you. You better go back to the bus stop where you belong."
And with that, I forge on. But he runs to stop me.
"Excuse me, I'm not done talking to you."
"No, you excuse me. I've had enough for today. Good day," I say and walk away.
The front desk is empty. I picked this time to arrive knowing most people would have arrived earlier. 5:30 p.m. has always worked for me. Even at banks, closing hours are the best for public figures like me.
I was handed a key to one of the mountain villa rooms. I got in my car and drove away, following the pointers until I got to the villas. Villa 12, which was assigned to me, is elevated fifteen feet above the ground with a staircase that looks like a pain in the ass. But I'm just twenty-six. This will be a breeze.
So I climb up until I get to the door and walk in to see fairy lights decorating the wooden villa. It looks so dreamy. The inside is made of dark brown wood, but the fixings are all white, from the curtains to the sheets to the bed stand. My window overlooks a foggy mountain.
My kitchen, though smaller than what I'm used to, is fancy, with a water heater and a table-top gas burner. Pots were provided because I paid for them. The room is cold, as though there's a powerful thermocool air conditioner blasting on 16. But it's no problem. I was in Canada for six months during the winter last year. This is nothing.
I lay my box on the ground and unzip it. Tonight is the *Welcome to Obudu* night. We will be having a get-to-know-each-other session and a bonfire, which I don't exactly look forward to. But I'll take it over brooding about a guy who doesn't care enough about me to let me down gently. At our anniversary? Seriously?
I catch myself thinking about it again and pull myself back to reality.
"Bonfire, bonfire, what's bonfire worthy in here?" I say, speaking to myself, then it appears.
My pink dungarees paired with a white long-sleeved top. I need to prep for the cold too, so I pick out a sweater and keep the pink Puma-print scarf I had on this noon. I would have had my bath, but it's so cold. I can only bear having water on my skin in this extreme climate once today. I'm too sad for extra pain right now.
I slip into my dungarees, walk toward the little boho mirror hung up by the window, and touch up my face with a little Vaseline, lip gloss on my lips, brushed my lashes with mascara, added a little eyeliner, and arranged my brows with the pad of my thumb.
"We're good to go, Monnie. Try to hold yourself together, and for tonight, no Dele, just me, booze, and fun," I say to myself with a big smile and slip out the door, mixing with the twenty strangers who have probably made friends with each other from this morning's session.
I stay silent, listening to their conversation to catch up on camp gossip so I can know how to navigate and who to avoid.
"Did you hear?" one of the ladies my age whispers.
"What's that?" the older lady beside her responds.
"Lekan Akinrinmade, the tech billionaire, is also checked into this resort."
"Whattt?!" A few other ladies close in on her to hear the gist.
"Really? I gotta have him. I hear he has never had a girlfriend. He's been single his entire life," one of the ladies says.
"Nah! I'll have him. You're engaged. But I've heard he might be gay. He mostly only hangs around men, never has he been seen around women, except his younger sister."
"Maybe he's into incest," another lady says.
"Eww, why would you even say that? I get you don't have a good relationship with your siblings, but you don't have to project your insecurities onto people with perfectly good family relationships," the lady who brought up the gist says, silencing the group of women until we reach the bonfire location.
Everyone settles around the burning fire as they please. I pick a cushioned pad to perch on, cross my legs, and whip out my phone, totally forgetting one of the reasons Sade thought this was a good place to get away is the bad network. So, with no reception, I opt for my favorite liquid sorting game and play for at least ten minutes before the bonfire officially kicks off.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome to Obudu. One hundred of you have come here in search of healing, peace, and Zennnnnnn," he says, dragging out the *Zen.*
"And that's exactly what you're going to take away from here. As you can see, there's no network on your phone. That's because for special events like this, we block the network, and we boost the quality of living here. The water heaters work perfectly. Your rooms are conducive. Food is provided in good quantity. Everything is available so that you'll never miss the outside world. Now, it's up to you to help yourself by mingling with your fellow campers, men and women alike.
There are no rules except: attend all the sessions, don't start fights, don't sabotage another camper's healing, and most importantly, don't sabotage your own healing. Thank you."
He concludes and settles on a small piece of rock. Another lady stands to address us. Her thin voice complements her tiny figure.
"Hello, campers," she says, expecting a response.
"Hello hello," we respond.
"My name is Cynthia. Welcome to Obudu. The majority of the people here have recently gone through one thing or the other, and that's why this is a healing retreat. Eventually, you're going to have to let it all out in one of our honesty sessions. You don't have to spill at the start. We have seven days to trust each other enough to let each other be each other's therapy. However, I'll start with me, so that those who are compelled by my honesty can learn how healing starts with sharing. My husband of twenty years served me divorce papers two months ago. It took me this long to take a step to heal for myself and the kids he is leaving behind. I didn't know he had a family outside for five years now. A younger woman," she pauses with a bittersweet scoff, "she has curves in the right places. She wears expensive wigs. A lawyer, scratch that, the owner of a successful law firm.
I was only a civil servant who barely had time to take care of herself, talk less of enough funds. He had a four year old kid, relocated them to the UK. The whole time I thought my husband started a new business in the UK, until one day I checked his phone and saw her chat asking when he would serve me the papers. I went through his suitcase and saw the papers, then confronted him about it.
Rather than answer the question I asked, he went ahead to talk about my inadequacies. Inadequacies that I don't see. Things he pointed out to break me. Inadequacies only he sees, because he now has a perfect woman. The next day, he said he couldn't stand me anymore. Served me the papers. I didn't argue. I just packed my bags and left.
My teenagers have been staying with me too. He stopped providing for them, as though they aren't his kids. I've had to learn to stand on my own two feet again, to be strong, to be independent. And I bet many of you women have similar stories. Broken, hurt, disappointed, thrown out in the cold all of a sudden. But together we will heal and learn to find our strength to move on.
Johnson, do you want to share for the men?" she turns to the man who addressed us earlier.
"No, I'm go-good," he stutters.
"It's fine. You take your time too," she says and sits down, gesturing to him, Johnson.
"Alright, alright. Time for introductions. As Cynthia has given away, my name is Johnson, and I am one of the facilitators of this great retreat, as well as Cynthia. You will meet the other facilitators tomorrow. Tonight, in a clockwise manner, we shall introduce ourselves, starting with you," he turns to the guy seated beside him.
A tall, muscly man stands. "My name is Jude. I am forty-seven. Recently divorced. Here to heal," he says and takes a seat. The next person stands to introduce themselves, and it goes on until my eyes land on the man I bumped into this evening. I growl under my breath. He stands up to introduce himself.
"My name is Lekan. I am a tech bro. I've heard from people that I should always lead with the fact that I'm a nerd and a recluse, so yeah. I'm a nerd. I love my work. I prioritize my work. I am not broken or hurt or anything, but my little sister thinks I need this retreat as much as everyone else, so here I am," he says and sits back down, earning a murmur from the people and pushing my hatred meter for him even higher.
*I'm not broken, I'm not hurt?* What a douche. He should have stayed home and left the spot to someone who genuinely needs it.
When the baton reaches me, I stand up and pull down my scarf a little so I can talk, and everyone gasps audibly. I hear the murmur among the girls.
"Isn't that...?"
"I heard her fiancé..."
"Oh my..."
I ignore the murmurs and introduce myself anyway.
"My name is Monisola. My friends call me Monnie like money, but I'd love it if y'all call me Moni. I've missed being called that. I guess everyone knows my story already, so..." I trail off and sit back down.
The people next to me introduce themselves until the circle is completed. Johnson stands up again.
"Now that we've all introduced ourselves, I'm glad to announce it's game time! Whoo whoo," he shouts and everyone whoops along.
"So, first we will pair everyone for this camp with a partner. This is because you need a personal mission on this journey. You check on your partner to ensure they are keeping up, healing, and in return, they check on you. Our yoga sessions are done in pairs too. All the sessions are done in pairs, except the sleeping. That's up to you. As I said, y'all are adults. We're not ruling out romance here. Love is boundless. Love can find you in the most unexpected situations. So live, be free, but be accountable.
"The first game is one where everyone passes these cards around to two songs to allow them shuffle at least four times before the song stops. Whatever card you end up with, you find the person with the other half of it, and that's your partner. Are we all ready?"
"Yes, we are."
"Alright. Let the games begin," he says and a song starts playing from a boombox in the corner. Johnson whips out a basket from behind the rock he is sitting on and starts handing out the cards one by one. Everyone starts passing them around and around until all the cards leave the basket. Now everyone starts passing the cards according to their will. Some hold on to cards after finding the holder of the other half. Friends find matching cards and hold on to them. But I pass every card that comes to me until the song stops. I am stuck with a sky-blue card that has been ripped in half, with half the sunset drawn on it. It says RISE.
"Now, everyone please rise and find your partner," Johnson says. The circle scatters as everyone stands to locate their partner. Some call out the details of their cards, but I focus on everyone's hands until I see a card that looks like mine held up by a hand caught between the crowd. I walk towards the card until I reach it, and I find myself standing face to face with the annoying man I met earlier, who I now know as Lekan Akinrinmade.
"You?" we exclaim at the same time.
"No, you can't be my partner," I say and walk towards Johnson. Lekan stalks behind, grumbling.
"Hi, hi Mr. Johnson," I call as I reach him.
"Oh, hi Monisola. How can I help you?"
"Is there any way I can change my partner?"
"Oh no, Moni. Here at the Zen retreat, we believe in fate. Oh, I see you've been paired with Mr. Lekan. What a beautiful pair. I'll see you two at the yoga class tomorrow morning," he says, walking away with a triumphant smile.
I gaze after him in disbelief and turn back towards Lekan. I shake my head as I meet his eyes. It's the coldest I've ever seen. This guy seems to have no feeling at all, and obviously no respect or regard for women. He must truly be gay, or a beast.
I scoff and walk away.
"See you tomorrow, partner," he says standoffishly, but I don't turn back to look at him. I go back to my cushioned pad and perch on it, waiting for the next game. But Johnson announces that that is all the game for tonight.
"We have seven whole days to spend together playing all the games we can. Honesty games, truth or dare, yes, you heard me right, drinking games, cup games, party games, charades. But at the same time, yoga, meditation and mindfulness, breath exercises, hikes, swims, and so on. So go and get all the rest you can tonight. For tomorrow, healing begins at the summit of the mountain. Be there at nine a.m. We hike first, then we yoga till twelve. Any questions? No questions? Alright, good night," he says. With that, he blows a whistle so loud it almost deafens me.
"When you hear that sound in the morning, get up and bathe. There's no slacking off. Healing requires dedication and discipline," he calls over the already dispersing crowd.
I tuck my half of the card in my pocket with a bit of anger and let out a yawn before catching up with the ladies heading toward my side of the resort.
"I wonder who Lekan got paired with," one of the ladies says.
"Whoever it is, that person is lucky."
"I'm hoping it's a man. I'd rather he was gay than not be my partner," another lady says.
"Ten thousand bet on the odds that he got paired with a pretty lady and they will fall in love before the end of seven days," one lady says. I scoff.
"I wager twenty thousand it's a guy and we are going to end up witnessing the biggest scandal of the year," another adds. I laugh silently, but the lady beside me hears me.
"What, you want to place a bet?" she asks.
"No, no, I'm just enjoying everything," I respond.
"Stick with us. Camp's going to be fun that way," she says. "I'm Fiona. Nice to meet you."
"I am..." I start but she cuts me off.
"Monisola. Everyone knows you. You're quite famous, you know," she says with a huge smile.
"And sorry for what happened at your anniversary. That was such a douche move on Dele's part," she says, pity written all over her face, coloring her voice too.
"It's okay," I say with the biggest smile I can muster.
But is it really okay? I can't seem to see men in a different light since that day. They all just seem to me like demons. Evil people out for blood. Out to hurt. Out to destroy.
And whenever those red heels slip into my mind again, my self-esteem sinks even lower. Maybe I'm not pretty enough. Maybe I don't deserve love. Maybe the whole time I was just a sex doll for Dele. A boost for his ego. His little publicity stunt. Maybe I'm worthless. Useless. Maybe I don't deserve love. Maybe, maybe...
I roll over on the silk sheets and clutch my pillow tight, not because it's soft, but because it doesn't lie, it doesn't cheat, it doesn't leave.
For the first time in a long time, I let the tears come freely. No cameras, no followers, no perfect captions.
Just me, my broken heart, and the mountain air pressing against my window like it's trying to tell me something.
Maybe this is where I begin again.