Chapter 34: Inevitable Inferiority and Anxiety
Ignoring Satou's shock, Ren felt he had already gone above and beyond. Normally, it would be best to ignore such matters or pretend not to notice, as dealing with them was truly troublesome.
While the other party was still stunned, Ren left the Rainbow Bridge.
It was only just past nine o'clock, but it was the perfect time to drive to Shimokitazawa.
Thinking about what he had heard and seen in his past life, Nijika and Ryo were both Hitori's friends, even her guides. Buying them bubble tea as a treat would be a good idea—Hitori probably wouldn't notice such subtle ways of maintaining relationships.
It didn't need to be too frequent; once in a while was enough. Surely, Nijika and Ryo weren't the type to accept the tea and then complain about it being cheap before sending him away.
"Thanks, benefactor! I won't hold back."
However, reality turned out to be even more shameless than Ren had anticipated. Upon hearing it was free, Ryo didn't hesitate at all, even pretending to be moved to the point of shedding "little pearls."
"Won't this be too much of an expense? There are plenty of drinks at the studio. You don't need to specifically bring us anything next time."
Nijika didn't refuse either and even expressed concern about whether it would add to Ren's financial burden.
"It's fine."
Ren shook his head and then took Hitori's hand, causing her to lower her head shyly with a light laugh.
Even though Nijika and Ryo were prettier and more outgoing than her, she was the first to have a boyfriend, giving her a slight sense of pride at being ahead of others.
"By the way, this is you, right?"
During the final moments before leaving Kessoku Band, after some casual conversation, Ryo Yamada sat next to Ren with her phone, showing him the screen. It was the "Lemon" cover video, which had nearly reached 100 million views.
"Yes."
Ren didn't deny it. He wouldn't boast about it, but he wouldn't be overly modest either. It was only natural for friends around him to recognize him.
"Please, give me your autograph! This is the request of a lifetime!"
As soon as she confirmed it was him, Ryo pulled out a notebook and a pen from who-knows-where and handed them to Ren.
"Wow! I've listened to this song too. Your singing and playing are amazing! I can't believe the piano and other instruments could create such dazzling sparks—it's even more rock than our music."
"But Ren, you'd better not give Ryo your autograph. If she runs out of money, she might use the fact that she knows you and has your signature to sell it for cash."
Hearing their exchange, Nijika pulled Ryo away and warned her. She knew her best friend well—there was nothing Ryo wouldn't dare to do, only things she hadn't thought of yet.
"Huh? Ren sang this?"
Hearing this, Hitori also looked over in surprise. She had listened to the song but hadn't read the comments or anything else.
"Not just singing—he also composed and wrote the lyrics. He's the kind of unique genius I admire. Are you working on your next song?"
Stopped by Nijika, Ryo didn't push further. She was more laid-back, giving up easily after a couple of attempts.
Rather than an autograph, she was more interested in whether Ren was a one-hit wonder or a genius ahead of his time. If his debut song was this stunning, maintaining that standard would surely make him a master of his generation.
"Not yet, but I plan to write one song per month."
Ren explained that since songwriting was his public profession, he needed to maintain a professional appearance. Therefore, he planned to dedicate a few days each month to recording and releasing songs, establishing a routine that would resemble regular work.
"So impressive..."
Writing one song per month was actually quite challenging. From composing and writing lyrics to rehearsing and recording, none of it was easy work. Yet Ren seemed confident he could achieve it.
"If you ever need a bassist, please consider me! I'd even pay for the opportunity."
Ryo pleaded with her hands clasped together. Previously at RiNG, she had been there to enjoy free food and watch band performances, without checking the job board for part-time work.
But Ren was different—he was a hidden and low-key expert. Wanting to seize the advantage of proximity, she remained confident in her own abilities.
"I'll consider it if you're at a semi-professional level. If your skills are average and you're trying to use connections, that won't work."
Ren didn't prioritize Ryo just because they knew each other. Yahata Umiri's technique was solid, while Ryo still had room for improvement.
"Understood."
Ryo didn't argue. Her fighting spirit had been ignited inside. Though her current level hadn't reached professional standards, she could practice. She just hadn't been putting much effort into bass practice recently—with a bit more dedication, it would be easily achievable.
Hearing that Ryo had actually requested to be hired by Ren, Hitori opened her mouth slightly, feeling conflicted.
She could play guitar. If Ren needed someone, he could ask her too, right?
Thinking about her thirty to forty thousand followers, Hitori felt somewhat confident. But she always performed poorly on stage, and collaborating with strangers might hold them back. Just imagining that possibility made her want to find a hole to hide in.
Yet this was an opportunity to perform and even release songs with Ren—the ultimate romance for couples who both played instruments.
Hitori pressed her lips together silently, but her eyes gradually grew determined. With Ren's encouragement, she had been able to perform at about seventy percent of her ability during recent practice sessions with Nijika and the others.
The reason she hadn't fully expressed herself was because she couldn't avoid overthinking and internal conflict, especially now that she knew Ren could also write songs.
If Ren were just handsome and tall, a wealthy second-generation heir with hundreds of millions, Hitori might not overthink things so much.
But Ren could also play guitar and piano, write songs and sing. His debut work was approaching 100 million views, and his followers had already reached the one million milestone.
In comparison, she felt like nothing.
Looking back suddenly, Hitori realized how vast the gap was between her and Ren.
Normally, one should feel prouder and happier when their boyfriend is more accomplished. But Hitori wasn't normal—she had social anxiety and was prone to insecurity and self-deprecation.
Even with Ren's efforts to help her change, it wasn't enough yet.
This realization sparked a moment of self-doubt in Hitori—was she really worthy of someone as exceptional as Ren?
On the way home, Hitori sat in the passenger seat with her head lowered while Ren shared stories from the day and made plans for their next outing. He didn't mention anything about Matsuzaka Satou, as there was no need.
Hitori listened quietly, occasionally responding with a soft "mm." Given how often she withdrew like this, Ren, focused on driving, didn't notice anything unusual about her at first.
After dropping her off at home, he left.
...
Meanwhile, Matsuzaka Satou stumbled back home in a daze. No lights were on, and no family was waiting for her. She collapsed onto the sofa, her heart filled with sorrow.
It shouldn't be like this. It was such a perfect encounter—so why did Ren already have a girlfriend?
If she got rid of Ren's girlfriend, would he accept her then?
Not only were her perceptions distorted, but her understanding of love was twisted as well. She was heartbroken, jealous, and resentful. Why had Ren met some other wretched woman before her?
After a while of intense emotional turmoil, Satou took out her phone. She remembered the style of Ren's school uniform. After searching online and narrowing down the options, her gaze settled on Toyosaki Private High School.
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