Morning light spilled over the Azure Moon Sect's peaks like liquid gold. The world seemed peaceful, birds chirping, disciples training — and one man screaming in pain.
"AAAAHHH—MY LEGS! WHY ARE MY LEGS ON FIRE?!"
Kim Taehun was collapsed on a patch of grass, twitching like a dying beetle. His "training session" had lasted exactly three minutes.
Nearby, Yue Rin stood with crossed arms, her usual calm expression replaced with mild pity.
"I told you. Sitting cross-legged for meditation requires endurance."
"I was cross-legged for two minutes before my entire body declared bankruptcy!"
He grabbed at his knees. "My blood circulation is suing me!"
> [System Notification: Host's pain tolerance -5%] [Suggested Action: Cry louder.]
Taehun scowled. "Oh, shut up. I'm trying!"
They were in the Azure Moon Training Grove, surrounded by smooth stones and trickling streams. Disciples sat in quiet meditation, radiating graceful energy.
Taehun, on the other hand, looked like a man auditioning for a chiropractic commercial.
Yue Rin knelt beside him, exhaling softly. "You must learn to sense the flow of Qi. It begins from within — the breath, the heart, the spirit."
He nodded seriously. "Right. Inner peace. Got it."
> [System Tip: Host's spirit currently resembles a burnt toaster.]
"Can you not—!"
Every head turned. Dozens of meditating disciples stared.
He coughed awkwardly. "I mean… inner peace."
An hour passed.
A breeze swept the grove. The others looked serene, their Qi flowing like calm rivers.
Taehun?
Snoring.
LOUDLY.
His head was tilted back, mouth open, drool gleaming in the sunlight.
> [System Alert: Host has entered Deep Sleep Meditation Mode.] [Note: Not a real cultivation technique.]
Suddenly—
WHACK!
Yue Rin flicked him in the forehead.
"Wake up!"
"OW! I was channeling dream Qi!" he protested.
"Dream Qi doesn't exist."
"It does now!"
> [Skill Created: 'Dream Qi (Passive)'] [Effect: Allows host to gain no benefits while sleeping, but feel smug about it.]
Taehun's eye twitched. "System, you're a troll."
> [Thank you.]
After several failed attempts, Yue Rin sighed. "Your meridians are… blocked."
He blinked. "Like, constipation?"
She pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. Spiritually."
"Ah. So, spiritual constipation."
"Exactly," she said deadpan.
> [New Quest: Unblock your spiritual constipation.] [Reward: Basic Cultivation Start-up Kit + mild embarrassment.]
"Why does my life sound like a bad mobile game?"
By noon, Yue Rin had dragged him to the Herbal Pavilion, where rows of disciples brewed concoctions and pills for training enhancement.
The air smelled like herbs, smoke, and failure.
"Maybe alchemy will help you understand Qi," Yue Rin said, handing him a small cauldron.
Taehun stared at it. "Looks like a cooking pot."
"It is for refining spiritual essences."
"So… cooking."
> [System Note: Host has prior experience as convenience store clerk. Skill synergy detected.] [Temporary Skill Unlocked: 'Pro Fryer (S-tier chef instincts in the wrong place).']
"Wait—did you just give me cooking skills for alchemy?!"
> [Yes.]
He grinned. "Oh, I'm gonna make this world's best spiritual omelet."
20 Minutes Later
Smoke billowed from the pavilion.
People coughed.
Someone yelled, "THE POT'S ALIVE!"
Taehun stumbled out, covered in soot, holding a bubbling cauldron.
"I—uh—might've added too much root."
"What root?" Yue Rin demanded.
He squinted at the label. "...The one that said 'Do Not Touch Unless You Hate Being Alive.'"
The cauldron burped. A small fiery blob popped out and ran away.
"Is… is that thing alive?" he asked nervously.
Yue Rin facepalmed. "That was a Spirit Embryo! You just created unstable alchemical life!"
> [Achievement Unlocked: "Father of Abominations"] [Reward: -2 Sect Reputation.]
"WHY is that a reward?!"
As chaos unfolded, the fire blob zipped around, setting robes ablaze. Disciples chased it like headless chickens.
Taehun grabbed a bucket of water and ran after it, yelling, "Come here, my son!"
"STOP CALLING IT THAT!" Yue Rin screamed, chasing him.
The blob jumped into his arms—and exploded.
BOOM.
The entire courtyard was covered in soot.
When the smoke cleared, everyone was coughing. Taehun stood in the center, hair sticking up like burnt noodles.
> [System Log: Explosion detected.] [Health -15%. Pride -100%.] [New Title: "The Sect's Problem Child."]
"Yue Rin," he said weakly. "I think… I might've impressed them."
Her eye twitched. "If by impressed you mean 'gave the Elder a stroke,' then yes."
Later that evening, Taehun sat on a small bridge overlooking a pond, his reflection rippling under the moonlight. Yue Rin joined him, holding two teacups.
"You've caused more chaos in one day than most disciples do in a year."
He sipped the tea carefully. "Well, I like to make an impression."
She glanced at him, tone softer. "You… are strange. You fail, yet you keep smiling."
He chuckled quietly. "That's because back home, failing was the only thing I mastered."
Silence. The pond glimmered with moonlight.
Then, Yue Rin smiled faintly — the first genuine one he'd seen. "Perhaps... that is your strength."
He blinked. "Wait, are you… complimenting me?"
"Do not misunderstand. I simply pity you."
"Ouch."
> [System Alert: Affinity with Yue Rin +5%] [New Title: "The Pitiable One."]
The night deepened. Yue Rin stood and turned to leave. "Tomorrow, we will start again. You may not have talent… but your spirit is stubborn."
Taehun smirked. "Thanks, I'll put that on my résumé."
When she disappeared into the shadows of the trees, Taehun lay back, staring at the stars.
For the first time since his rebirth, he felt something warm in his chest — peace, maybe. Or belonging.
> [System Progress: 9% → 11%] [Subroutine Activated: "Emotional Resonance Detected."]
"Emotional… what?" he muttered.
Then the System glitched.
The blue screen flickered violently. Text scrambled across his vision.
> [Warning…] [Error Detected: Unauthorized Data Source.] [Re-Life Protocol Breach… Detected…]
His heart pounded. "System? What's happening?"
> [Source Unknown. Attempting Containment.]
The serene pond beside him suddenly rippled — violently. A dark reflection appeared. His face… but distorted. Smiling too wide. Eyes empty.
> [Data Clone Identified: "Refund Entity."] [Initiating System Lockdown—]
The reflection laughed.
And then, the water rose, forming a shadowy silhouette of himself.
"Hello, Kim Taehun," it said in a warped version of his own voice. "Ready to pay the price for your refund?"
The pond exploded in black mist.
> [System Emergency Shutdown…] [Warning: Soul Contamination Detected.]
Taehun fell backward, gasping, as the darkness reached for him....