Extra scene: The Best Way to Bond
"Oh?" Hestia leaned forward in her seat.
Makepeace Lake, Atlantic County, New Jersey
While the Zetsu clones were occupied with their game of 4D chess against two goddesses, the original, still in his blond disguise, laid under a tree awake and looking back at the rest of his travel mates.
"Oh please, as if 4D chess would cause any version of myself such a headache," Athena rolled her eyes at the comparison.
Annabeth internally wished to one day play a game with her mother.
The real group of travelers had continued their road north while keeping close to the shore, and had now reached a small woodland at the edge of a lake. A good spot to spend the night, even if there were a bit too many mosquitos for the three demigods' liking.
"Ugh," Zoe scrunched her nose. Even after thousands of years in the wild, those little pests were still as annoying as ever. She would dare to call them the greatest beasts the Hunt has ever encountered, as even her Lady's charms didn't seem to completely block them from their tents.
It was yet another reason why the Hunt preferred to move to the north of the country in the summer.
But the reason for the Uzumaki's lack of sleep didn't have anything to do with blood sucking insects or the infiltration of Olympus, those issues weren't on his mind right now.
"What is that gremlin planning?" Zeus narrowed his eyes in suspicion while his wife rolled her eyes at him, but internally felt just as curious.
As time passed and he started hearing his father's audible snores, he got up from his position and made way to the man's side.
"Hey uuuh sis, you think he's about to do that?" Quetzalcoatl grinned as she whispered conspiratorially in Amaterasu's ear, who in turn muffled a giggle.
The interaction got them a raised eyebrow from both Hestia and Rhea, who could feel the amusement wafting off of them.
Demeter scowled heavily as the corn in her hair still popped every once in a while.
He nudged him and prodded him a few times at first, then wound up his foot and delivered an earth-shattering kick to Naruto's side.
Hestia's eyes widened at the sudden assault, "that's not-"
CLANG
Whatever the goddess wanted to say, she stopped in surprise, as did many around the room, from the loud sound that reverberated. It was something she was sure to hear in Hephaestus' forge.
"What the… how durable is he?" Athena spoke in genuine surprise.
' As hard as iron, that's Pops for ya,' he winced slightly at his bruised foot before his healing factor kicked in and fixed it.
' I wonder what else is hard~' Aphrodite bit back the comment, not willing to incur Hestia's wrath.
The Sage continued sawing logs, none the wiser of what just occurred.
"Is… is that normal?" Bianca asked nervously. She'd heard of 'heavy sleepers' but this looked like a whole other level.
"Papa's body is… special…" Amaterasu hesitantly explained, "it… it's difficult to explain"
"Wasn't that because of Yama's-" the Aztec started speaking only to be shut off by her sister outright hissing at her.
" Yes , Quatzi, yes it was. I think Papa wouldn't like if we talked about that subject," the younger goddess actually cowed from her sister's glare.
Amaterasu's eyes, seeing her sibling's expression, softened as she gave her a side hug and whispered a brief apology.
The tender moment was interrupted by Hermes who shrugged, "I mean with our luck it might be revealed eventually soooo…" he trailed off, while some of the audience nodded in agreement.
The Shinto turned her sharp gaze to the god of Messenger, who shrunk in his seat.
"If it is, then so be it. But on the off chance the Book does not discuss it, I hope you can understand this is a private family matter," Amaterasu stated firmly, while her sister got more comfortable into her embrace.
Rhea smiled at the two, and reached out to tenderly hold the Shinto's hand, "I understand sweetie, please forgive us for our curiosity but your father does have a lot of interesting and unusual traits."
The Titaness' tone was soft. The same tone she would often use on her own children, and both the foreign sisters reacted positively to it, nodding in gratitude and turning back to the screen.
Those like Zeus or Athena internally lamented the missed opportunity. They could have learned of a possible weakness for the Sage.
Seeing this, Zetsu's disguise shimmered as a sinister glasgow grin appeared on his face.
' Heh, it's one of those nights,' he thought as he turned and made his way to the demigods' prone figures.
"Hey. Wake up," he said plainly while gazing down at Luke. When the teen didn't answer, the Uzumaki shrugged, wound up his foot for the second time that night, but stopped before he could make contact.
Luke breathed a sigh of relief.
Instead he nudged Luke's side, on a spot he knew was ticklish for the teen.
"How did he know that?" the rogue demigod asked loudly, finally breaking his silence, as many giggled around him.
"Eh that's Zeezee- hermano for ya. He knows where everyone's manchas de cosquillas are…"
Demeter huffed, still angered at the threat to her other's potager, "talk about creepy…"
Hades rolled his eyes at his sister, "oh get over it, it's not the end of the world."
"It's the principle of the thing you kidnapper!"
"Sticks and stones, sister…"
Bianca shook her head at her father. Somehow, seeing him bicker with his sister was making her understand where Nico got his bratty attitude from.
The sleeping demigod snorted loudly as he jolted awake, eyes wide and confused before they focused on the person intruding his slumber.
"Zetsu?" the boy yelled, before remembering where he was, "what do you want?" he continued whispering harshly.
Hermes chuckled at his son. He reacted the same way every time Apollo sent his Sun's rays at his eyes.
The way Zetsu looked back at him unnerved him, with eyes both cold and intense. For a second, the teen thought he'd seen two rows of razor-sharp teeth where the other blond's mouth would be, but as he blinked the sleep from his eyes, the sight that greeted him was a more normal, if not just as unnerving, grin.
During the time he knew him, he realized that grin only meant trouble.
Nico shivered as he looked at the smile and hid behind his sister.
"He's scary sis…"
Bianca petted the boy's head with a smile and a shake of her head. Somehow, the thought of her brother finding Zetsu's human disguise to be scarier than his true form was funny.
"Wake up the others, we're gonna have fun," as soon as he said this, the Uzumaki turned around and walked back to a bag at the side, shuffling in it as he retrieved some items.
"Huh?"
"Just do it," Zetsu didn't turn around from his work, while the demigod furrowed his brows in annoyance.
Luke also frowned with his counterpart. He didn't like being bossed around.
Hermes for his part felt his Pranking Senses (pending trademark) tingling.
"Watcha think Zetsu wants to do?" Thalia asked her friends, who all shrugged.
' What does the jerk want now?' he thought, briefly pondering the benefits of ignoring his fellow blond and going back to sleep. Just as he turned to do so, however, he caught sight of the adult of the group in deep sleep.
The son of Hermes felt his inner prankster surge out as the situation finally became clear to him.
Hermes couldn't suppress the proud grin that formed on his face.
Heh… threatening him with a good time. He just might take back half the mean things he'd thought about the guy.
With that he nodded to the Uzumaki and set out to wake the others, making sure to poke Thalia with a wooden stick, just in case the demigoddess literally and figuratively jolted awake.
Percy snorted loudly before laughing to himself, only to yelp as Thalia shocked him lightly with her finger.
Luke made sure to hide his chuckles, lest his former friend do something more painful to him.
"Huh? Luke? Wazzit?"
"Hmmmm."
His best friend and surrogate little sister both groaned as they woke up, sounding and looking more like the undead at that moment.
Hades raised a brow in amusement at the comparison. Ironically enough, some of the undead under his command were far more lively than expected.
Before they could ask anything, Zetsu came back and dropped a bundle of colorful items to the ground in front of them.
Luke blinked at the sight of the objects before a veritable Hermes-like smirk bloomed on his face.
"That's my boy!" Hermes couldn't help but cry out.
Luke blushed dewpite the scowl on his face.
Thalia chuckled fondly at the picture of her former friend. Those were the good times…
Annabeth and Thalia mirrored him as the youngest demigoddess stifled a few giggles.
Athena and Zeus stared numbly at the screen.
They wanted to be mad.
They should be mad.
Had it been any other 'Pantheonic Threats', Olympus might have ended up burning to cinders from their children's audacity.
But at this point, both felt like this story would contain a lot more similar moments.
Rhea, the demigods and the foreign deities all laughed or giggled in excitement.
Hours later
Naruto's eyes blinked open as the first rays of the sun tickled them.
' Damn, another one of those nights,' he groaned and adjusted his legs, raising his pelvis to the sky as he balanced on his head and feet. As he did so, several frogs, birds, and even water snakes jumped off of his body, having taken to spending the night on him.
Zoe muffled a giggle. This reminded her of some of the days when she caught her Lady sleeping next to her wolves.
Some of the ladies in the room however, did not find the sight as heartwarming.
"I have no idea how he can even sleep like this," the goddess of Agriculture couldn't imagine waking up to a snake using her as a pillow.
Curiously enough, the screen remained blank.
CRAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK
The audience jumped at the abrupt sound, while Ares raised his head in alert.
Was that an AK-47?
The critters practically bolted away as several sounds similar to firecrackers rang out from the man's back. As Naruto finished popping his entire spinal cord, he sat up and started doing the same to his joints.
CRACK
CRACK
CRACK
"Oooooh," Apollo winced into his hand, "I could never call this healthy."
"Eh? Por Qué?" Quetzalcoatl asked, puzzled before doing the same thing to her neck
CRACK
"Quatzi! You'll hurt yourself!" The chiding surprisingly came from Hestia while Amaterasu just looked on in resignation. Far too used to her sister's antics.
"Fine fiiiine, Big Sis," the blonde goddess replied back.
Rhea internally squeed at how familiar the foreigners had become with them, and in such a short amount of time too!
' Haiyaaaa, I'm starting to feel like my age,' the man groaned while rubbing his back. Oh, what he wouldn't give for some ramen right now…
Demeter shook her head. Honeslty, while Ramen was cereal based and was technically good for one's health, the Sage sounded like someone who's never heard of the term "moderation" before.
He blinked, however, as he noticed he wasn't in the same location he had slept in last night. Looking around, he noticed the hastily constructed raft under him, floating in the middle of the lake.
"Pffft, classic!" Hermes giggled like a child alongside many of the audience as a picture on the screen started to form.
Looking overboard, he was able to see his reflection in the water. A big red nose greeted him, alongside various doodles and glitter littering his face, all topped off by a cringe-inducing rainbow wig covering his hair.
No one could have prepared the audience for the sight before them.
As if to add insult to injury, circus music echoed out briefly from the screen as well.
And just like that, the dam broke.
"KEHAHAHAHAHA!"
"FUFUFUFUFUFU!"
"HUHUHUHUHUHU!"
"HEHEHHEHEEHEHE!"
"GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"HIHIIHIHIHIHIHIHI!"
The whole room exploded in laughter at the sight of the clown on the screen.
The children were practically hanging off one another while many of the Olympians held onto their seats as they devolved into uncontrollable chortles. Even Hestia and Rhea, ever kind and compassionate, could not help guffawing, especially when the Sage's own daughters were among the loudest.
Even Zeus, while initially worried about pissing off a Pantheonic Threat, was practically melding into his giggling wife as both enjoyed a good practical joke.
Bianca and Nico were also surprised to see their father trying and failing to muffle his laughter into his hand.
"Excellent application of makeup, darlings!" Aphrodite heckled between her giggles.
After a few minutes, things calmed down with the occasional titter erupting here and there.
He blinked, his mind trying to comprehend what he was looking at. But as his ears picked up the distant childish giggling from the shore, he couldn't help but let it infect him.
"BehahahahAHAHAHA!" his laughter boomed across the lake as the man fell back on the raft and kicked his feet in the air, giggling to himself.
Rhea smiled beautifully as she gazed at the man's laughing face, and couldn't help the treacherous thought.
' His smile suits him~'
' Ahhhh… the kiddos' first prank. This takes me back,' he wiped a fake tear from his eyes, as pride swelled up in him.
Not only at the young demigods for managing to pull a classic on him, but at his son as well.
Both Naruto's daughters, having calmed down, had an inkling as to what their father meant.
He knew Zetsu had a… difficult time socializing with others, but the boy was also among the only people on this planet to know about his body's tendency to simply 'turn off' every once in a while to compensate for the many sleepless nights he had sometimes. It was a peculiar quirk, a sleeping disorder born from the torture he'd put his body through over the years… or at least that's what his sister Saiken had said.
Any earlier humor vanished from the Titaness's face and her eldest daughter's. This statement explained Amaterasu's earlier hesitant reveal about her father's body. But it also did not bode well.
A serious expression also overcame Apollo's face as he tried to imagine what manner of trials the Sage had gone through for his body to still hold lingering effects. It was similar to Hephaestus who, even immortal, still held painful deformities from the injuries he sustained as a godling and Hera's own actions.
Dionysus, having woken up to the sight of the clown, also raised an eyebrow in interest. He was more curious about the mental scars from that 'torture'.
But ehhh, the important thing was that Zetsu indirectly shared this information with others, which could only mean one thing.
Athena shook her head, "I've never seen anyone be happy about a weakness of theirs being revealed."
"Mom?"
"Think about it, daughter. The man just told us that every once in a while, his body becomes completely defenseless. If one can understand the mechanism behind that biological disorder then…"
"One can predict the next time the body shuts down?" Annabeth replied and got a proud nod in return.
As others caught on to the information, some like Zeus reacted positively as a possible opportunity made itself known, while others like the foreigners simply glared at the goddess of Wisdom for her words.
True they may be but neither Amaterasu nor Quetzalcoatl wanted the King andnhis cronies to cause any trouble for their father.
His boy was starting to trust Annie, Luke, and Thalia. Enough to bond with them over a good old practical joke!
That was great! Perfect even!
…
"I sense a but incoming," Apollo narrowed his eyes.
But then, he couldn't just let this go, could he?
"Didn't even need foresight!" The god of the Sun cheered and high-fived his brother.
Papa Toad wasn't about to let some tadpoles show him up!
'Papa Toad? Oh that's so cute!' the Titaness felt her cheeks flush a light gold. It was too wholesome!
Looking over at the shore, he saw the three demigods laughing and pointing at him. Curiously, his son was nowhere to be found.
"Oooooh! He ditched you guys!" The god of Mischief fake-winced, while Thalia,.Annabeth and even Luke suddenly felt worried for their counterparts.
Hmmm… well would you look at that. Fortunately for Zetsu he'd learned thousands of years ago to book it after he'd done it (it being the prank).
"Hehe"
Unfortunately for the other kiddos, they hadn't quite grasped that lesson yet. Oh well, fortunately for them, he was more than eager to play teacher right now.
The kiddos in question started sweating.
So, he cleared his throat, took the time to practice, and pick out the right vocal octave for maximum disciplinary effect.
"YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE SNOTS!"
The shout took everyone by surprise, and came accompanied by a mental image of a cracking belt.
Quetzalcoatl practically jumped into her sister's arms and hid her head in her shoulder while Amaterasu simply caressed her blonde hair.
' It's Papa/Papito's pre-asswhooping voice,' both sisters shivered, feeling some phantom pain in their bottoms as they recalled the times they tested their father's patience a bit too much.
Apollo, Hermes and Aphrodite reflexively clenched their asscheeks. While the first two did so out of reflexive fear of another whooping, the goddess of Love did so out of eagerness. She suppressed a moan as she imagined the Sage manhandling her over his knee and making her call him daddy.
Unnoticed by everyone, the Titaness bit her lower lip and lightly shuddered, her body reacting in a way it hadn't for thousands of years.
' Oh dear… why do I feel the urge to be… pun-ished ?'