The rest of the day was a blur. I could barely focus on my other classes. Every word the lecturers said went in one ear and out the other. All I could think about was him, and that stupid moment in his office. God, I just wanted to go home and cry.
And that's exactly what I did.
The second I walked through my bedroom door, I dropped my bag, fell onto my bed, and just lost it. The stupid tears came fast and hot. My chest ached, my eyes burned.
I couldn't believe he picked that fake, perfect bitch over me.
Sophie Blue.
I sniffed and reached for my phone, typing her name into the search bar.
And of course, Sophie freaking Blue was the daughter of some filthy rich oil tycoon and a Romanian supermodel. Perfect hair. Perfect skin. Perfect everything.
"Of course," I muttered. "Rich and gorgeous. Fucking great."
How was I supposed to compete with that? Me, with my loud mouth that couldn't shut up long enough to let him breathe.
I groaned and fell back against my pillow, tears pooling again.
Then my phone buzzed. A message from Bree. The party starts by six. Better be here. She even sent the address.
A party was the last thing I wanted. I wasn't in the mood to see people.
But then again… maybe a party was exactly what I needed. Something to clear my head. So I could stop thinking about him.
"You know what," I mumbled, wiping my eyes. "Why not?"
It had been ages since I'd gone out.
I pulled myself up, showered, and started digging through my wardrobe for something..anything...that would make me feel alive again. My eyes landed on a short black dress. The one that showed more than it covered. Perfect.
I slipped it on after doing my hair and makeup, and when I looked in the mirror… damn.
For once, I barely recognized myself. The girl staring back at me was fucking hot.
My hair framed my face perfectly, my lips were glossy, and my curves, God, even I had to admit looked amazing. My hips, my waist… and, well, my breasts. They were impossible to ignore, pushing against the thin fabric like they had their own agenda.
I straightened my shoulders and shut my eyes, mentally preparing myself for tonight.
And that's when I hear his voice. Deep, smooth, right behind me.
"You look gorgeous, princess."
I could feel him there, warm and close, his breath brushing the back of my neck. My heart stuttered, my skin tingled.
"Do I?" I whispered. "Or are you just saying that? Why not go tell Sophie Blue?"
My eyes snapped open, and of course, I was alone. Just me and my stupid imagination.
Still, the jealousy hit hard. So hard it ruined the fantasy.
I sighed, leaning my forehead against the mirror.
"Get it together, Rachel," I muttered. "He's not thinking about you."
I stared at my reflection one last time. My eyes were still a little red from crying, but damn..I looked too good to waste the night moping.
Screw Sophie Blue. Screw Mr. MacLean. Screw everything.
I grabbed my purse and stomped downstairs.
Mom's laughter floated from the kitchen. She was cooking, well... pretending to cook, while her new boyfriend hovered behind her like a lost puppy. Boyfriend of the week, it seemed.
Ever since Dad cheated and ran off with his mistress, she'd been collecting men like takeout menus. None lasted longer than a few dinners.
They both stopped when they saw me. Mom blinked. Her boyfriend was practically drooling. Typical.
"Rachel! Where the hell are you going dressed like that?" she asked, her tone half shock, half disapproval.
"To a party," I replied flatly.
"A party?" She gave me a slow once-over. "You look amazing, honey, but that dress is… well, it's practically a crime scene."
"Seriously, Mom? I'm twenty, not twelve. And maybe you shouldn't lecture me in front of your new boy toy."
Her eyes flared. "Firstly, his name is Michael. And secondly, that's very disrespectful. Thirdly, you can't even bend in that dress or sit comfortably."
I felt something snap in me. I turned around and bent right over...very slowly, until the hem of my dress was so high it was basically revealing all of my ass.
"See?" I said. "No issues there. Still functioning perfectly fine."
Michael made a weird choking sound, like he swallowed his tongue. Mom looked like she might faint. I grabbed my purse again, rolling my eyes. "You two have fun. Don't burn the kitchen down."
She called after me as I reached the door, but I ignored her my Uber was already waiting outside...But her hand caught my arm.
"Rachel," she said softly, eyes searching mine. "What the hell is going on with you?"
"I'm fine, Mom."
"No, you're not. Did something happen at school?"
I clenched my jaw. My throat felt tight. "I said I'm fine."
Her voice softened, the way it always did when she got worried. "You used to tell me everything. Please don't stop now just because you think you've grown up. Life as an adult is… pretty lonely, honey."
"Is that why you keep fucking every guy you meet and bringing him home?"
The words landed like a slap. And I regretted it the moment it left my mouth.
I froze. She stared at me, stunned.
"I..I didn't mean that mum," I stammered. "I'm sorry."
She looked away, forcing a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "It's fine," she whispered. "Just… be careful, okay?"
Then she turned and walked back, leaving me standing there in silence.
My chest felt heavy. Guilt eating me from the inside.
I sucked in a breath, blinked hard to hold back more tears, and walked toward the waiting Uber.
Tonight, I told myself, I'd forget everything.
Even if it killed me.