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"I've been a hero for three years now. Ever since that incident three years ago, I've been training nonstop—through wind, rain, pain—"
"Can you shut up already, Baldy?!" Ethan rolled his eyes. "You always go on about your 'three years of training.' Big deal. Any normal guy could get fit if they stuck with it long enough. Stop acting like it's some tragic backstory."
"How can you say that? It was super intense, super painful training—"
"Shut up, Baldy."
"You shut up! And stop calling me Baldy!"
"Sure thing, Baldy."
"…"
"Anyway," Ethan muttered, "about that guy from earlier—"
"What about him?"
"N–nothing. Oh, wait—I just remembered something! The supermarket's having a discount today. I've got a coupon, so I'm heading out to grab some sale items."
"Hold up, lemme see that. That's in City B, isn't it? You sure about this?"
"No problem! It's not that far—shouldn't take long!"
"…"
Ethan stared blankly at Saitama. Of all the people in this world, only he would run all the way from City Z to City B just for a supermarket sale.
While Saitama jogged off in pursuit of cheap groceries, Ethan trudged home alone. Honestly, he thought Saitama was kind of a strange guy. With that kind of strength, getting money should've been the easiest thing in the world. Yet somehow, the guy was always broke.
Maybe you could call him careless… or maybe he just had principles. He became a hero for fun, after all—not for fame or profit. Most of the money he had came from people he helped out on the job who gave him a little something in thanks.
Still, for someone so careless, Saitama seemed pretty content with his life.
When Ethan got home and turned on the TV, a breaking news report flashed across the screen: a massive monster had appeared in City B—a giant so tall it towered thousands, maybe tens of thousands of meters high. The thing's entire body was solid muscle, and it was strong enough to wipe out an entire town with a single punch.
Ethan wasn't even a little worried. Saitama was in City B right now, after all. And no matter how strong that giant was, he figured it would still only take one punch.
Sure enough, before the news segment even finished, the giant's head exploded on live TV. Its enormous body toppled backward—taking half of City B down with it.
Ethan sighed and rubbed his temples. He didn't even need to guess who did it. Only Saitama would end a fight like that without a second thought. He could've easily minimized the collateral damage, but nope. In that shiny bald head of his, the only goal was "defeat the monster." The destruction afterward? Not his problem.
A few minutes later, Saitama showed up at Ethan's place, his polished scalp gleaming under the light.
"Huh?"
"Hey," Saitama said casually, "my gas ran out at home. Mind if I borrow your stove for a bit?"
"Whatever. Just make enough for me too."
"Got it!"
"Oh, and Saitama—did you run into some kind of monster in City B?"
"Yeah. Big guy, muscles everywhere, brain the size of a pea. I couldn't just stand there and let him wreck the city, so I stepped in."
Ethan rolled his eyes. Didn't let him wreck it? Half the city's gone!
Yawning, he turned off the TV and picked up a newspaper, flipping through articles about monsters and heroes. To him, they might as well have been short stories.
Then—
BOOM!
A huge claw burst through the wall. Ethan didn't even flinch. With Saitama here, what was there to worry about?
Sure enough, a second later Saitama stormed out of the kitchen, looking pissed."Hey, can't you see I'm cooking here?! Can't you wait until I've eaten before attacking, you dumbass monster?!"
"Uh, Saitama," Ethan muttered, "between you and the monster, you're the only bald one."
"Shut up!" Saitama roared, and stomped back to the kitchen.
And that was just another day for Ethan and Saitama—simple, ridiculous, and somehow peaceful. To anyone else, it'd sound like a wild adventure novel. But to them, it was just daily life. Ordinary as swatting a mosquito or stepping on a cockroach. The only difference was, their "mosquitoes" and "cockroaches" tended to be several stories tall.
The next morning, Ethan washed up and stared at his tired reflection in the mirror."Man, spending too much time with that baldy's starting to rub off on me. I'm losing motivation…"
Just then, he heard a loud smack—smack—smack coming from the next apartment.
"Huh? Saitama, what the hell are you doing this early? You realize you're annoying the neighbors, right?"
"There's a mosquito! A really annoying one!"
"Oh for—don't tell me you can't handle one measly mosquito."
"Of course I can! It's just… ha ha… ha ha ha…"
"Why does that laugh sound so fake?"
Ethan sighed, flipped on the TV, and slumped onto the couch.This world was so boring. Monsters popping up here and there, sure—but still boring.
Then a newscaster's voice caught his attention."Breaking news: a massive mosquito swarm has appeared across multiple cities—"
"Mosquito swarm?" Ethan muttered. "No wonder that idiot's been smacking the walls all morning." He got up and shut the window. "I'm not scared of them or anything, but a whole swarm? That's just gross."
Dozens of mosquitoes buzzed through the still-open window. Ethan's eye twitched."Hey, Baldy! Get over here and help!"
Good thing this world still had its own living "summon creature." Strong as hell, always on call… even if he was, well, bald.
"..."
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