I woke up with a clear damn vision. In that room.
If that wasn't a dream, then... How am I here? Being here in someone else's body.
As I was kept pushing my head further to learn more.
What's next? If I was dead, then how I am still there. What happened after that.
My head started to nip gradually which made me felt more pain. It's unusual I barely react with pains of this body, but I couldn't control it. Like as far as I am hitting to reach at the edge, my soul trying to leave from this body.
Suddenly I stopped moving, calmed down. Deep breath. Without noticing my left hand automatically rubbing my frons and eyebrows and the pain slowly releasing.
I understood I just need some time, to find out about the mystery and what's up with that island. As far as I know when I reached here at least, I knew I was dying but sudden realization hit.
I committed suicide too. I took my own life that time too.
As usually living as that girl and getting knowledge, adapting twenty centuries mind set up. I barely could believe all those. Maybe those are stupid dreams. Maybe I am just too mentally ill that I started to creating things and dreaming about them clear. Though I hardly trust any doctor or psychologist too. I don't know but an old, raged hate always on me toward humans. And I was so obvious to everyone about that. I surely not acting one of them and kept claiming I am not like them.
The parents were also pretty tensed about the sudden change of their elder kid and mostly they were not that sensible to stop pushing her in misery.
It sounded funny to me to just taking peoples own life for being depressed. But day by day I started to feel it's really pretty hard to move on and ignore them. But sure, I am not that much weak to harm her through emotions. It doesn't get count for me. But this body sometimes stops like the mind gave up already.
After that more often the trouble started to keep inviting me, but I can't say no to them. Just a simple nerd bullied girl became all cold, maniac, rude and fighter boyish girl. My body barely acted like girl's. But thanks to the generation it doesn't count something weird with earth's point of view. Still few naggers got always guts to keep advising while my one death glare makes them not to dare say any word longer. My face appearance and behavior now completely changed. Though I never acted like a spoiled brat, but I became the mother's beloved and the father's hatred. Because I understood, she is also a lady who's barely living in this world with her cruel husband and in law's.
Days barely passed, but in a glance, it's already been seven years I am living in this body here. Though saying at a glance is irrelevant because in those years the thought of giving up, killing this body, escaping from here kept popped but I did hold myself, clenching my teeth. Because I still couldn't find out why I am here. But the Vision's and Dreams were unstoppable. Same gasping nights with painful dreams. But the several one I used to see before stopped maybe three years ago. And it was obvious that it's just the pain and scare's which left until I let it go.
Just a huge monster like man, Coming toward me. I was running in a blood flooded tunnel with dim orange lights. While my running isn't beating as that thing's huge body stepping slowly. And I fall down covered in blood while I notice in his both hands, my Papa and Mama's head.
Every time I waked up with sweat as it was really true but sure those weren't. It's just the fear that kept ghosted me. But to my surprise I unlocked another vision of my past life.
When I myself don't even believe in those. I barely believe in religions too. I always seen myself different from the humans. But still the human's trust issue's left, so all I believe in a god the creator. No one else more no religion. Sure, for me to worship a god and pray, I don't need to choose a religion.
After graduating from high school, I don't want to enroll for colleges, but I did for one law school and dropped out next year. The thought of education and certificate for idiot's poked my head because lawyers never owned a private jet. I was barely managing to fight with my own term's. But I am pretty matured for not to do something which tons of people doing out there.
One day my usual spot of getting consolation started to feel empty. I feel normal not the chill's not the existence. Suddenly I remembered last night how I said to the family convinced them not to suspecting something and do a ritual. I said them there were no one I am just spending my time alone for clearing my mind. And sure, I felt it's totally empty now there. I burst into tears. It's unexpected. Sure, there wasn't anyone. It was all my imagination then why I am taking it seriously, but my promising heart kept saying at least someone was there. Comforted me unlike today. I just wiped down my tears left the room. But my mind kept saying,
Once you stop believing the thing will disappear. The thing exists which you believe.
But I kept confronting me. Speaking under breath.
It's just my imagination for comforting me. Though I cried until my eyes gotten swollen and became asleep as the golden light of sun reflected through my room filling the airs into mist heat.