The sun had barely risen over Base 13, but chaos was already awake.
Celia stood in front of the mess hall stove, wearing an apron that read "COOKING IS COMBAT", and wielding a frying pan like a weapon.
> "If I can disarm a bomb, I can make pancakes," she muttered, eyes narrowed in concentration.
Behind her, Rina watched with growing concern as smoke began to rise.
> "Celia… pancakes don't usually spark, right?"
> "That's not spark," Mira said flatly from the corner, holding a fire extinguisher like it was part of her morning routine. "That's chemical warfare."
Liri entered the room humming a song, carrying a bucket of water for no apparent reason.
> "Oh, great! We're doing breakfast training again!"
> "We're trying to make breakfast," Rina corrected.
> "Oh, so it's still a mission with a 40% casualty rate."
From the back, Eira sleepwalked in, still wrapped in a blanket, eyes half-shut. She mumbled something that sounded like "coffee or death" before heading directly toward the coffee machine like a moth to flame.
---
By the time the first pancake hit the ceiling, everyone had accepted their fate.
> "Celia, just admit it," Mira sighed, pulling the pin on the fire extinguisher. "You can't cook."
> "Excuse me? I passed my field ration assembly test with flying colors!" Celia protested.
> "That was instant noodles," Rina said.
> "And you still burned the water," added Liri.
A thick white mist filled the kitchen as Mira sprayed down the smoking stove.
Eira, now barely awake, took a sip of her coffee and said in a low, emotionless tone:
> "So… who's cleaning this?"
Everyone looked at each other in silence. Then, almost in perfect coordination, they all pointed at Rina.
> "Wha— why me?!"
> "Because you volunteered," said Mira.
> "I didn't!"
> "You were closest to volunteering."
> "That's not how that works!"
Celia clapped her hands together, trying to change the subject.
> "Alright, new mission: Operation Breakfast Redemption. We regroup in twenty minutes!"
Rina groaned. "Can't we just… go to the cafeteria like normal people?"
> "And give up? Never!" Celia declared heroically, fist raised. "We are Squad 13 — and breakfast will bow before us!"
---
Twenty minutes later.
The kitchen was worse. Somehow.
Pancake batter on the ceiling. Toasts fused into something unholy. Liri accidentally discovered that if you mix soda with instant coffee, it creates a small explosion.
Eira was using the blast to toast her bread.
> "Efficient," she muttered, flipping her toast as another pop echoed.
Mira stared at the destruction, expression unreadable.
> "You know," she said calmly, "if Command finds out about this, we'll be court-martialed for culinary terrorism."
Celia, still proudly holding a half-burnt pancake, smiled.
> "Then we'll make history."
The door opened suddenly — an officer poked their head in. Smoke billowed out around them.
> "...I'm not even going to ask," they said, and shut the door.
To be continued on Chapter 2: Laundry Day Massacre