Monday, October 31, 2022 - The long-awaited Halloween. While the kids were getting ready for candy and costumes, I was preparing for something completely different. I had obtained "Anestine" from Dark Web, a powerful inhalant that numbs the central nervous system and renders the victim completely unconscious. Perfect for my next victims.
I went out that morning for a run and some fitness work. But things didn't go as planned. In the public park, a vicious pit bull chased me! I ran like crazy and jumped into a small lake to escape. Why would he choose me of all people? Did he know the truth about me? I officially declare my hatred of animals, and I'm going to cross the zoo off my list!
I went home and made a healthy breakfast, then woke Steve up. We sat down at the dining table and I asked him, "Do you have any plans for Halloween night, Zoro? Or are you just lost as usual?"
He laughed and said, "Waiting for the crew!" He had invited his friends, the "pirate crew," to hang out.
Two hours before sunset, I discovered that the "crew" had abandoned Steve. So I hacked their phones and discovered that they were stealing from their parents to buy anime figures. It was so easy for me! How ridiculous! Someone trying to steal for figures! I threatened them via text messages and made them do whatever I wanted.
An hour and a half later, someone knocked on the door. I opened it and saw a kid dressed as Sanji, trembling in fear of the Glenn Quagmire statue, which was chanting "Giggity Giggity!" whenever a kid took candy from his pocket. Apparently, my plan was working Yeees. The other kids didn't even dare come near!
I called Steve, who came out happily. I told him to have fun with his friends. I closed the door and waited for my turn to have fun with mine.
I waited until 1:00 AM, when Steve was asleep and the kids had stopped knocking. I put on my Deadpool costume, grabbed my Instincts, and some candy, and headed to my next victim: one of the gang members who attacked me yesterday.
I knocked on the door. The camera on the left stayed on until I finished working. The man opened the door... and he was wearing a Deadpool costume, just like me! Oh really, he couldn't find another costume. I hope it wasn't the real Deadpool, or I'd have a hard time killing him!
I said, "Is there candy, sir?"
He looked surprised, but before he could speak, I sprayed him with the drug, saying, "Happy Halloween!" He fell unconscious.
I pulled him inside and closed the door. Suddenly, I heard a voice: "Hurry up, let's finish the game, idiot!"
There was another man wearing a Wolverine costume sitting in front of a chessboard! Looks like I'm going to kill every member of the X-Men today!
I sat speechless in my Deadpool costume. We played chess... and with one move, I checked him!
He raised his head in surprise. I guess his friend was too stupid to defeat him so quickly. He looked at me and said, "Sam?"
I replied, "No, I'm Victor!" and sprayed him with the drug until he fell.
I removed the masks and then put them back on. They were two of that gang members.
A little while later, they woke up, their legs bound in the chair, each with one hand cuffed. They were sitting facing each other, with a chessboard between them and a five-minute countdown timer.
I said, "Whoever wins lives longer, and whoever loses dies instantly. If the timer runs out, you both die!"
They were both shaking. Wolverine peed himself! Damn, he ruined my favorite X-Men character!
They played nervously. Deadpool was dropping pawns randomly, which might make him the last pawn to fall, while Wolverine was choosing fairly good moves despite his constant trembling, and when he placed a piece, it fell on its own due to his unsteady hand. There were hundreds of chances to win, but they were both stupid! I was doing a cute jumping jack dance around them.
Suddenly, Wolverine won. Deadpool tried to beg, but I shot him right in the head! I didn't want to diminish the value of my costume!
Wolverine was screaming, so I killed him too. I didn't say I wouldn't kill him, just for a while, and that time passed in a second. Ooooh, blood, the only beautiful thing about humanity, was the only entertaining show of the night!
I walked out of the house, looked at the camera, and danced in front of it, saying, "Catch my ass now!" and walked through the people who came out after hearing the gunshots.