The night was warm, far too quiet for the way my heart was beating. I didn't know that waiting for someone could leave my entire body this alert. Every sound from the street made me lift my head, every minute that passed made me more restless. It was ridiculous how much I wanted him to arrive already.
And then the gate opened, the sound crossing the yard like a direct warning to my chest.
Rafael stepped in… and stopped.
His eyes traveled slowly up my folded legs, to my face, then settled on the two cups of coffee I was carefully holding and the tin of cookies beside me.
He took the earphones out.
— Helena… what are you doing awake? You should be sleeping already.
I smiled.
— I brought coffee and cookies.
He raised an eyebrow, pretending to be grumpy.
— Coffee? At this hour?
— It's decaf — I replied, as if it were obvious.
Then he climbed one step and sat down beside me.
— Actually… — I murmured, lowering my eyes. — I just wanted to see you again before going to sleep.
For a second he didn't say anything. Then he turned his face toward me and looked… there was a raw intensity in his dark gaze, sweeping over my face like a touch.
— I know — he said at last. — I didn't want to end the day away from you either.
I handed him the coffee. I tried to open the cookie tin while holding the other cup… and almost dropped everything.
He laughed.
— You're going to spill all of that on us.
— So… — I murmured, trying to recover my dignity — it's safer if we go upstairs. We eat at the table, and… we didn't even watch the episode of the series today.
He looked away for a second, like he was trying to grab onto whatever scraps of common sense he had left.
— I… don't think that's a good idea — he murmured, his voice not firm at all.
I moved slowly, turning my body until I was completely facing him.
— And why wouldn't it be a good idea? — I murmured, with a small, almost pleading smile. — I just wanted to stay a little longer with you.
I felt his breathing change rhythm, and for a moment he seemed to be fighting with himself.
— Helena… don't do this to me.
— Oh… — I lowered my eyes, letting out a short sigh I couldn't hold back.
The effect on him was immediate.
— Don't make that face… — his tone was almost a confession. — You have no idea how much I've fought these past few days. I clung to the little control I had, held back every impulse, every urge. Out of respect for you, for what you were going through, for your parents' house… but I'm at my limit.
I swallowed hard… his honesty hit me like a warm shock. But he kept going.
— If I go upstairs with you now… I won't be able to watch any episode at all.
The heat rose so fast I felt even the roots of my hair tingle. And even so, even knowing exactly what he meant… I tilted my face toward his… just enough for our noses to almost touch.
— Then… come up with me — I whispered, feeling courage bloom in the same place fear lived. — I'm not asking you to control yourself.
His gaze plunged into mine, and I saw the exact moment he lost the fight.
— Helena… for God's sake… — he murmured, his voice almost a contained groan. — You have no idea what you're doing to me.
I knew… of course I knew.
And even so, I held out my hand to him.
He looked at my palm for a second, then looked at me… and took my hand like someone finally allowing himself to fall.
He stood up first, without letting go of my fingers. I stood right after, my breath shallow, my whole body electric.
And hand in hand, we started up the stairs.
When I pushed open the kitnet door, the dim light from the living room fell over us. He came in behind me and closed the door with his foot… slowly.
I set the cookie tin on the table and placed the cups of coffee beside it. Before I even turned around, I felt his warmth behind me. The slow step and then… his arms wrapping around my waist. The air left my lungs almost audibly when his chest pressed against my back.Rafael pulled me closer, his voice coming by my ear, warm enough to raise goosebumps over every inch of my skin.
— I'm lost over you, Helena… — he confessed in a whisper. — More than I should be… much more than I can hide.
My heart raced so fast I had to brace a hand on the table.
Then I turned within his embrace. When I faced him, he was already looking at me like I was something he'd waited far too long to touch.
I didn't need to say anything… neither did he.
His hands slid along my waist and, in an almost unconscious gesture, slipped under my shirt, meeting my skin with a warm touch that made my entire body tremble.
His forehead almost rested against mine… his chest rising and falling as if he'd just run.
— Helena… — his voice faltered. — If I keep going… I won't stop.
My body had already answered before my head could.Even so, I nodded slowly.
That was enough.
In a firm movement, he lifted me off the floor. My fingers instinctively clutched his shoulders, and the heat of his body pressed to mine as if we'd both been pulled by a magnet.
He carried me to the bed without taking his eyes off mine, steps quick, urgent, but every gesture held care, as if he were afraid of hurting me. When my back touched the mattress, he came with me, bracing his weight on his forearm beside my head, completely surrounding me.
His scent, his warmth, the restrained tension in his muscles… everything wrapped around me so completely that, the instant his mouth found mine, there… under the weight of his body, with my heart stumbling in my chest… I had the deepest certainty of my life:
I was exactly where I had always been meant to be.