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Chapter 5 - Chapter 5: The Void

Chapter 5: The Void

The void was everywhere—darkness stretching endlessly in all directions. That was what Shin saw now: darkness, as far as the eye could see. No source of light could reach his eyes. He saw nothing, felt nothing. And it wasn't only his sight that was gone—his hearing, too, was lost.

He didn't know whether it was because there were no sounds around him or because he had become deaf, but at this moment, he was both blind and deaf. To speak, to scream, to cry out—none of it mattered, for no sound could travel in this place. He was trapped. He didn't even know if he was speaking or shouting; no sound reached his ears. Whether he screamed or whispered, it would make no difference—his eyes couldn't tell, and the darkness prevented him from hearing himself.

He tried to calm down. But imagine a five-year-old child—anyone would cry, even the bravest would panic. Yet he did not. He kept his composure. After all, panic would serve no purpose other than to harm him further.

Once completely calm, he decided to see if he could walk—and of course, it didn't work. Obviously, that would have been far too simple. To trap a five-year-old child in darkness and deprive him of sight and sound—those were Shin's current thoughts.

He seemed capable of walking, yes, but he didn't know how. The sensation was difficult to describe; he couldn't tell if he was standing, sitting, upside down, or simply lying flat. He no longer knew how his body existed in space. He didn't know much here, but that wasn't stupidity—spatial awareness depended partly on sight. And so, without sight, there was no sensation, and without sensation, no movement.

This reinforced the theory forming in his mind: he wasn't blind because it was dark, but because there was nothing to see. No objects, no source of light—nothing passed through his eyes, and therefore nothing could be seen by them.

To avoid taking unnecessary risks, he did what seemed to be sitting down, choosing not to move from this place that appeared, at least, safe. And once he seemed to be sitting, he began to think: where was he? It felt like he was in a place beyond everything—yet not in a place that truly existed. What was this? What kind of place was this? He had no idea. But one thing was certain: this place was unlike any he had ever been before. It was beyond his understanding.

How? That was the question that gnawed at him the most—how had he ended up inside this cocoon of infinite darkness? He couldn't even remember what he had been doing before arriving here, in this place. He remembered nothing, and that was what frustrated him most: the lack of knowledge. It frustrated him more than being trapped here. For him, that absence of understanding was the reason he remained here for so long. Ignorance meant incompetence—and he hated himself for it.

He blamed himself for what seemed like… well, he had no idea how long. A second or a year could have passed—it made no difference. The concept of time was meaningless here. Too vast, too unstable to rely upon. Time was a variable too volatile to use as a measure.

So, he kept thinking, trying to ignore all the obsolete human concepts that meant nothing here. And that, without question, was the hardest task of all—for without his familiar points of reference, a human being was as useful as a doorknob. In other words, he was weaker than an infant here.

In his helplessness, he tried to remember. To remember what? Anything. Even the smallest detail from before this—any memory would do. He felt something, a faint spark of recollection beginning to form… and then it was gone. As if it had never existed. That, too, frustrated him deeply. His helplessness was already unbearable, and he wanted to die. But he didn't even truly understand what that meant, because for him, death did not exist. He didn't know what it was—or rather, he no longer remembered. But then again, that, too, he had forgotten.

What, you might ask? He no longer remembered that he had forgotten. And so, for him, this lack of knowledge, this powerlessness, became normal. It was as if the darkness surrounding him wasn't only outside—it was inside as well. The darkness seeped into his mind, and where knowledge had once been, only forgetfulness remained. Yet he was still human, even if he no longer remembered that fact. And as such, instinct remained.

He did what seemed to be turning his head—once toward what might have been his right, then toward what might have been his left. But nothing. Then suddenly, with a burst of unexplainable urgency, he stood up. He didn't understand why, but he had no time to think before, instinctively, he began to move forward.

He walked, and walked again, into what might as well have been the unknown. He ventured deeper into the darkness. He kept going, and as he went, his pace quickened. He was no longer merely walking through the void—he was running from it. It was as if he were afraid of something, as if he were being hunted.

Suddenly, he turned—was it to the left? The right? He didn't know, and it didn't matter. He ran. He wasn't just running to escape anymore—he was running to live. He ran faster, as though the future itself did not exist. He ran toward it, not knowing what it was, nor how. He fled from the past while remaining trapped in the present.

He drove his small child's legs to their limit, pushing them as far as they would go, exhausting them—but he felt no fatigue. After all, did he have time to think about that? No, for he was fleeing time itself. And perhaps, too, he had simply forgotten to feel tired. After all, what he had forgotten was not something he could remember again.

Then, in the midst of his frantic sprint—running infinitely in one direction, as fast as a racing start in another—in this last effort he imposed upon himself, his mind drained and weary, he tried to remember one last time.

He tried to remember… what? Who he was. Who? Who was he, damn it? That question echoed endlessly inside his head.

"Who am I?" he screamed as he ran.

And for once, after what felt like eternity, the sound reached his ears. He hadn't noticed at first. Then he said:

"Shin."

"I am Shin."

And then—a blinding white filled everything.

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