Interviewer:
Hello and welcome back to our Interlude. The purpose of this "Interlude" is to show both the characters and the author in ways you wouldn't normally get to see. Today we have Mister Lonely and one of the characters from the hit novel The View From Halfway Down.
Interviewer:
Today we're here with…
(The chair marked "Author" sits there empty."
Interviewer:
Where is Mister Lonely?
(A man bursts into the studio, panting and out of breath.)
Mister Lonely:
I'm… here!
Interviewer:
Hello there, Mister Lonely.
(Mister Lonely heaves himself to his chair and sits down.)
Interviewer:
If I may ask, do you have a guest for us?
Mister Lonely:
No, There're all on strike.
The Studio:
…
Interviewer:
I don't think I heard you correctly.
Mister Lonely:
You heard me right. Almost all of my characters have gone on strike. It seems like they've unionised as well.
Interviewer:
What happened?
Mister Lonely:
It got out that we were planning m&@! m%*£r as an element this arc.
Interviewer:
And that's bad because?
Mister Lonely:
Well nobody wants to (gestures around violently) so early you know? Plus there's really no coming back from that…
Interviewer:
I'd imagine. Well… since you're here, we might as well ask you a few things.
Mister Lonely:
(Leans back)
Shoot.
Interviewer:
(Sets paper aside)
People have been dying to know, what did last chapter mean? Authors don't usually appear in front of their fans in such a manner. In fact even this… could be considered highly unusual. Why do you do all this?
Mister Lonely:
I've kept it no secret that this is an experiment. That this is me finding my feet in the industry.
And writing as freely as I damn please…
is the only way I know how.
Interviewer:
And to the people who say this is a folly?
Mister Lonely:
They wouldn't be wrong. Perhaps that's why I'm better than everyone else.
Interviewer:
Excuse me?
Mister Lonely:
Listen, no disrespect to the people who have successfully written books. I will never diss success. But I don't want to write a story that "sticks to the formula". When I fail I want it to at least be "me". For now that's success. A mess uniquely mine.
Interviewer:
Thats interesting.
The idea that even failure could be success, if it's truly yours.
So tell me—
what is failure to you?
Mister Lonely:
I won't hide it. Failure is my biggest fear. Ever since I was a child I was told I had potential. That I was gifted. That I should hold myself to a higher standard. So as of late I've done nothing but fail.
(He pauses.)
I was scared to make this. Scared that this would be nothing but a waste of time. But maybe, failure was not starting. That just by taking that first step, I've already succeeded somewhat.
(The studio is silent.)
Interviewer:
…And if this fails too?
Mister Lonely:
Then at least it'll be mine to bear alone.
(He forces a small smile.)
And honestly…
that might be the first success I've had in a while.
(Silence again.
Longer this time.)
(BANG!)
(The door blasts open.)
Mister Lonely:
(Grinning)
It's seems like our time is up!
(He leaps out of the chair and rushes toward the door on the other side.)
(As he runs he yells:)
Mister Lonely:
I'm sorry but The View From Halfway Down is going back on break! Due to strikes and pure author fatigue, there won't be a chapter for a month or so. I hope this book can continue to be good (or bad) in your heart once we return!
(The camera topples and falls to the floor.)
(A menagerie of characters from the book rush though the studio. Some have signs, others have shirts saying "He'll DIE Lonely before any of us do!")
(As they surge after the fleeing author the camera cuts out.)
This transmission has ended. Please enjoy the rest of the book and the rest of our brief INTERLUDEs.